Author Topic: Wood  (Read 1109 times)

Offline cdrover(Clyde)

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Wood
« on: April 14, 2012, 03:40:30 pm »
This man always boasted that he could tell anything about a tree. Another man who owned a lumber yard decided to test him out. So they go into the woods. The lumber yard owner points to a beautiful pine and asks, " How many board feet of 1x6 inch board will I get from that tree. The guy looks it up and down and says, "from that tree you will get 200 linear feet of 1x 6 board. The lumber yard owner tells his crew to cut the tree and slice it up into 1x6 inch board, and the report from the formen was there was exactly 200 feet in the tree. Amazed the owned takes him further into the woods and points to a gigantic maple and asks,"   how much 1/8 veneer will this tree produce". Again the man sizes up the tree and reports back that," you will get 1435 square feet of veneer from that maple tree. Again the owner had his men fell the tree and  had it reduced to veneer. His foreman reports back the indeed there was exactly 1435 sq ft of veneer in the tree. Not to be out done the owner take him further into the woods and finally settles on an old spruce tree. Finally he said, " where is the front of this tree". The man walks around the tree once and says," this is the front right here."  Bewildered the owner asks, " and how can you be certain that this is the front"? "Well he says someone had a crap behind it." ;D ;D
What are we here for but to help others. (Author unknown)
Clyde

Offline Keefie

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Re: Wood
« Reply #1 on: April 14, 2012, 05:15:17 pm »
love it, dad's still laughing. :D :D :D
It's all a case of "Mind over Matter",  The Government don't Mind, and I don't Matter.

Offline Russ C

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Re: Wood
« Reply #2 on: April 14, 2012, 05:23:35 pm »
 ::)  ::)  ::)  LMBO  :D  :D  :D
russ@simplywoodencreations.com

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Offline newfie

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Re: Wood
« Reply #3 on: April 14, 2012, 08:34:04 pm »
good one Clyde LOL


excalibur 21
Every woodworker needs a fireplace

Offline Al W

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Re: Wood
« Reply #4 on: April 15, 2012, 08:58:59 am »
Good logic.   ;D
Molon Labe

Believe half of what you see, and none of what you hear.

The government is NOT always right, or on your side.

Offline wombatie

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Re: Wood
« Reply #5 on: April 16, 2012, 01:11:34 am »
 :D :D :D :D :D

Marg
MARG

No one notices what I do until I'm not here to do it............

Offline slowcutter

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Re: Wood
« Reply #6 on: April 16, 2012, 10:31:53 am »
I think that was my Brother-in-law






That went behind that tree
JP

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Offline Marcellarius

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Re: Wood
« Reply #7 on: April 17, 2012, 12:22:52 pm »
Hahaha  ;D ;D
Marcel

sometimes I make designer firewood....

 

SMF

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