Author Topic: Three Holy Men and a Bear  (Read 1318 times)

Offline Judy Hunter

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Three Holy Men and a Bear
« on: February 27, 2012, 08:15:05 pm »
A Catholic Priest, a Baptist Preacher and a Rabbi all served as Chaplains to the students of Northern Michigan University at Marquette in the Upper Peninsula of Michigan.

They would get together two or three times a week for coffee and to talk shop.

One day, someone made the comment that preaching to people isn't really all that hard, a real challenge would be to preach to a bear.

One thing led to another, and they decided to do an experiment. They would all go out into the woods, find a bear, preach to it, and attempt to convert it to their religion.

Seven days later, they all came together to discuss their experiences.

Father Flannery, who had his arm in a sling, was on crutches, and had various bandages on his body and limbs, went first.

'Well,' he said, 'I went into the woods to find me a bear. And when I found him, I began to read to him from the Catechism.

Well, that bear wanted nothing to do with me and began to slap me around.
So I quickly grabbed my holy water, sprinkled him and, Holy Mary Mother of God, he became as gentle as a lamb. The Bishop is coming out next week to give him first communion and confirmation.'

Reverend Billy Bob spoke next. He was in a wheelchair, had one arm and both legs in casts, and had an IV drip.

In his best fire-and-brimstone oratory, he exclaimed, 'WELL, brothers, you KNOW that we Baptists don't sprinkle! I went out and I FOUND me a bear. And then I began to read to my bear from God's HOLY WORD! But that bear wanted nothing to do with me.

So I took HOLD of him and we began to wrestle. We wrestled down one hill, UP another and DOWN another until we came to a creek. So I quickly DUNKED him and BAPTIZED his hairy soul. And just like you said, he became as gentle as a lamb. We spent the rest of the day praising Jesus..Hallelujah!

The Priest and the Reverend both looked down at the Rabbi, who was lying in a hospital bed. He was in a body cast and traction with IVs and monitors running in and out of him. He was in really bad shape.

The Rabbi looked up and said: "Looking back on it, .....circumcision may not have been the best way to start."
I'm from North Dakota

Offline dgman

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Re: Three Holy Men and a Bear
« Reply #1 on: February 27, 2012, 08:26:43 pm »
Oy vay! ::)
Dan In Southern California

Offline Keefie

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Re: Three Holy Men and a Bear
« Reply #2 on: February 28, 2012, 02:19:01 am »
Now that was funny  ;D ;D ;D nearly did GB's trick of spitting coffee at his monitor lol
It's all a case of "Mind over Matter",  The Government don't Mind, and I don't Matter.

Offline wombatie

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Re: Three Holy Men and a Bear
« Reply #3 on: February 29, 2012, 12:55:19 am »
Oh I love that one.  I actually spat my biscuit at the screen.  :D :D :D Now I have to clean up.

Marg

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No one notices what I do until I'm not here to do it............

Offline Marcellarius

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Re: Three Holy Men and a Bear
« Reply #4 on: February 29, 2012, 02:48:16 am »
ouch.... think before you try ;) LOL
Marcel

sometimes I make designer firewood....

Offline Russ C

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Re: Three Holy Men and a Bear
« Reply #5 on: February 29, 2012, 04:19:03 am »
ROFLMBO   :o   :D  :D  :D
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