Author Topic: more humor  (Read 1238 times)

Offline Gabby

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more humor
« on: July 20, 2011, 12:52:45 pm »
A lot of these apply to me. (COMMENTS INSIDE PARENTHASIES ARE MINE) Spell check says I got that 25 cent word right, how about that?
Gabby
Enjoy

Adult Truths......some sure hit home!
 

1. I think part of a best friend's job should be to immediately clear your computer history if you die.

2. Nothing sucks more than that moment during an argument when you realize you're wrong.

3. I totally take back all those times I didn't want to nap when I was younger.

4. There is great need for a sarcasm font.

5. How the hell are you supposed to fold a fitted sheet?

6. Was learning cursive really necessary? (back then we called it Long Hand!)

7. Map Quest really needs to start their directions on # 5. I'm pretty sure I know how to get out of my neighborhood.

8. Obituaries would be a lot more interesting if they told you how the person died.

9. I can't remember the last time I wasn't at least kind of tired.

10. Bad decisions make good stories.

11. You never know when it will strike, but there comes a moment at work when you know that you just aren't going to do anything productive for the rest of the day.

12. Can we all just agree to ignore whatever comes after Blue Ray? I don't want to have to restart my collection...again.

13. I'm always slightly terrified when I exit out of Word and it asks me if I want to save any changes to my ten-page technical report that I swear I did not make any changes to.

14. I keep some people's phone numbers in my phone just so I know not to answer when they call.

15. I think the freezer deserves a light as well.

16. I disagree with Kay Jewelers. I would bet on any given Friday or Saturday night more kisses begin with Miller Lite than Kay. (I prefer Miller Genuine Draft, what's with all these "Lite" beers?)

17. I wish Google Maps had an "Avoid Ghetto" routing option.

18. I have a hard time deciphering the fine line between boredom and hunger.

19. How many times is it appropriate to say "What?" before you just nod and smile because you still didn't hear or understand a word they said? (WHAT?  :) )

20. I love the sense of camaraderie when an entire line of cars team up to prevent a jerk from cutting in at the front. Stay strong, brothers and sisters!

21. Shirts get dirty. Underwear gets dirty. Pants? Pants never get dirty, and you can wear them forever.

22. Sometimes I'll look down at my watch 3 consecutive times and still not know what time it is.

23. Even under ideal conditions people have trouble locating their car keys in a pocket, finding their cell phone, and Pinning the Tail on the Donkey - but I'd bet everyone can find and push the snooze button from 3 feet away, in about 1.7 seconds, eyes closed, first time, every time.

24. The first testicular guard, the "Cup," was used in Hockey in 1874 and the first helmet was used in 1974. That means it only took 100 years for men to realize that their brain is also important.

Ladies...Quit Laughing. (ESPECIALLY  MARION)    ;D
MOLON LABE.
TRUST IN GOD!
 DON'T BELIEVE ALL YOU HEAR & DON'T SAY ALL THAT YOU THINK !

marmoh

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Re: more humor
« Reply #1 on: July 20, 2011, 05:30:37 pm »
You know me too well ... thank goodness I had just swallowed my coffee before #24  ;D

Offline Gabby

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Re: more humor
« Reply #2 on: July 20, 2011, 09:11:25 pm »
You know me too well ... thank goodness I had just swallowed my coffee before #24  ;D

Well you are reading at your own risk, every once in a while I get one with a real zinger.  ;D
So be careful out there! LOL
Gabby
MOLON LABE.
TRUST IN GOD!
 DON'T BELIEVE ALL YOU HEAR & DON'T SAY ALL THAT YOU THINK !

Offline geneVG

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Re: more humor
« Reply #3 on: July 20, 2011, 09:20:49 pm »
When you figure number 18 out please let me know.  I havehad a lot of trouble with that.

gene
Gene Van Grevenhof

Offline Gabby

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Re: more humor
« Reply #4 on: July 20, 2011, 09:23:36 pm »
Gene they both tend to become fattening. :o
Gabby
MOLON LABE.
TRUST IN GOD!
 DON'T BELIEVE ALL YOU HEAR & DON'T SAY ALL THAT YOU THINK !

Offline slowcutter

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Re: more humor
« Reply #5 on: July 20, 2011, 09:48:41 pm »
Gabby
Lite beer is for people that likes to peeeeeeeeeeeeee a lot.
JP

S - ee
M - iracles
I - n
L - ife
E - veryday

Offline Gabby

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Re: more humor
« Reply #6 on: July 20, 2011, 10:02:15 pm »
Gabby
Lite beer is for people that likes to peeeeeeeeeeeeee a lot.

Regular beer does that for me!
G
MOLON LABE.
TRUST IN GOD!
 DON'T BELIEVE ALL YOU HEAR & DON'T SAY ALL THAT YOU THINK !

alien11

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Re: more humor
« Reply #7 on: July 21, 2011, 10:07:35 am »
Gabby
Lite beer is for people that likes to peeeeeeeeeeeeee a lot.

Well, you know the old adage - "Garbage in, garbage out!"


Offline GrayBeard

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Re: more humor
« Reply #8 on: July 21, 2011, 10:15:21 am »
I always have been in touch with the theory...

"You do NOT buy beer, you just RENT it for a while!"

~~~GB~~~
I never really wanted to grow up....All I wanted was to be able to reach the cookie jar...and play with my DW 788

Offline GrayBeard

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Re: more humor
« Reply #9 on: July 21, 2011, 10:17:01 am »
RE: No. 16...

Old country song..."The Girls Get Prettier At Closin' Time"

~~~GB~~~
I never really wanted to grow up....All I wanted was to be able to reach the cookie jar...and play with my DW 788

Offline Gabby

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Re: more humor
« Reply #10 on: July 22, 2011, 01:55:46 am »
Oh yeah but look out in the morning! LOL
G
MOLON LABE.
TRUST IN GOD!
 DON'T BELIEVE ALL YOU HEAR & DON'T SAY ALL THAT YOU THINK !

 

SMF

Teknoromi