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Author Topic: The Chef  (Read 2341 times)

Offline Gabby

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The Chef
« on: May 30, 2011, 12:51:54 am »
BBQ RULES


We are about to enter the BBQ season. Therefore it is important to refresh your memory on the etiquette of this sublime outdoor cooking activity. When a man volunteers to do the BBQ the following chain of events are put into motion:
Routine...
(1) The woman buys the food.
(2) The woman makes the salad, prepares the vegetables, and makes dessert.
(3) The woman prepares the meat for cooking, places it on a tray along with the necessary cooking utensils and sauces, and takes it to the man who is lounging beside the grill - drink in hand.
(4) The woman remains outside the compulsory three meter exclusion zone where the exuberance of testosterone and other manly bonding activities can take place without the interference of the woman.
Here comes the important part:
(5) THE MAN PLACES THE MEAT ON THE GRILL.
More routine...
(6) The woman goes inside to organize the plates and cutlery.
(7) The woman comes out to tell the man that the meat is looking great. He thanks her and asks if she will bring another drink while he flips the meat.
Important again:
(8) THE MAN TAKES THE MEAT OFF THE GRILL AND HANDS IT TO THE WOMAN.
More routine...
(9) The woman prepares the plates, salad, bread, utensils, napkins, sauce and brings them to the table.
(10) After eating, the woman clears the table and does the dishes.
And most important of all:
(11) Everyone PRAISES the MAN and THANKS HIM for his cooking efforts.
(12) The man asks the woman how she enjoyed her 'night off,' and, upon seeing her annoyed reaction, concludes that there's just no pleasing some women.

 ;D that's me! My other specialty is Legumes and Meat Sausage.
Beans and Wieners ya dummy! ROFLMAO
Gabby
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MOLON LABE.
TRUST IN GOD!
 DON'T BELIEVE ALL YOU HEAR & DON'T SAY ALL THAT YOU THINK !

Offline Marcellarius

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Re: The Chef
« Reply #1 on: May 30, 2011, 02:40:35 am »
Yep, a normal BBQ procedure. looks normal to me 8)
BBQ is one of the greatest things an man can do (beside scrolling of course)
The only thing I don't get is, why my wife doesn't like BBQ?  ::)
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Marcel

sometimes I make designer firewood....

Offline slowcutter

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Re: The Chef
« Reply #2 on: May 30, 2011, 10:14:00 am »
The hardest part about BBQ is the 15 mile drive to Pigs & Feathers in Toledo OR
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JP

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Chachi

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Re: The Chef
« Reply #3 on: May 30, 2011, 10:28:13 am »
Yep all these rules look about right so have a happy BBQing season and to the women trust me you do not want anywhere in that 3 meter range...
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Offline dgman

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Re: The Chef
« Reply #4 on: May 30, 2011, 11:24:40 am »
Nope!!
I shop for the meat and all groceries. I prepare the meat and vegetables. I set the table and grill the meat. I prepare the desert. I do it all while the wife sits back reading on her Kindle! Tonight for Memorial day we will have a Tri-Tip (which I seasoned and prepared last night), Fresh grilled corn on the cob, Baked potatoes, and for desert, Fresh sliced California Strawberries.
After dinner my wife will say "go sit down, you cooked, I'll clean". If she doesn't, we will clean together.
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Dan In Southern California

Offline GrayBeard

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Re: The Chef
« Reply #5 on: May 30, 2011, 11:58:15 am »
I'm with Dan on this one...

Have not had wife or 'ladyfriend' yet who could do it as well as I can or please me with her culinary talents. The females in my barbecue experience almost always are responsible only for supplying dessert. Otherwise stay clear and watch me go!

~~~GB~~~
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I never really wanted to grow up....All I wanted was to be able to reach the cookie jar...and play with my DW 788

CNLNC

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Re: The Chef
« Reply #6 on: May 30, 2011, 12:59:10 pm »
Ahhhhhhh....that explains it....that is why Dan and GB scroll in a nice work shop while Gabby is freezing his arse outside in the carport...Got it... ;)
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cameronj

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Re: The Chef
« Reply #7 on: May 30, 2011, 01:55:27 pm »
I'm with Dan, too.  I do the shopping, the food prep, etc so that dinner is usually cooked and ready to serve when my wife comes home from work.
She offers to clean up after....but usually we do it together.
Then comes relaxing in front of the TV, or just sitting reading and talking to each other.
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marmoh

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Re: The Chef
« Reply #8 on: May 30, 2011, 03:59:14 pm »
I thought I was on the scroll saw forum but, after reading Dan's, GB's and cameronj's comments, I feel like I have stumbled into the Twilight Zone !!!!!   :o :o
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Offline dgman

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Re: The Chef
« Reply #9 on: May 30, 2011, 04:58:35 pm »
Come on Marion, you mean your hubby doesn't cook? :o
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Dan In Southern California

Offline dgman

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Re: The Chef
« Reply #10 on: May 30, 2011, 05:03:20 pm »
Quote from: CNLNC on May 30, 2011, 12:59:10 pm
Ahhhhhhh....that explains it....that is why Dan and GB scroll in a nice work shop while Gabby is freezing his arse outside in the carport...Got it... ;)
Yup, I have a nice shop that takes up all of the garage, and my wife has an entire room upstairs for her quilting!
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Dan In Southern California

marmoh

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Re: The Chef
« Reply #11 on: May 31, 2011, 08:34:24 pm »
sorry Dan but our BBQ looks more like Gabby's description than yours.  I also have to stay by the grill as I like my meat med rare and he likes his well.  Needless to say he doesn't care if it all comes out well done !!!  I also like my hotdogs burnt ... he has no idea what that means ...
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Offline Gabby

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Re: The Chef
« Reply #12 on: May 31, 2011, 09:21:47 pm »
Quote from: marmoh on May 31, 2011, 08:34:24 pm
sorry Dan but our BBQ looks more like Gabby's description than yours.  I also have to stay by the grill as I like my meat med rare and he likes his well.  Needless to say he doesn't care if it all comes out well done !!!  I also like my hotdogs burnt ... he has no idea what that means ...

We FINALLY agree on something Marion! Well done steak is a waste of good beef, I just don't want it cold and purple in the middle when I cut it, if it bellers I'll just stab it till it quits. Hot dogs have a better flavor with a little charing. A good hot "far" to seal the juices in, so I don't mind it on a steak either. Depending on how thick it is I rarely do more than 3 minutes to a side. Yummy! I'm getting hungry it's nearly supper time.... stomach growling!!!!
Gabby
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MOLON LABE.
TRUST IN GOD!
 DON'T BELIEVE ALL YOU HEAR & DON'T SAY ALL THAT YOU THINK !

chief

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Re: The Chef
« Reply #13 on: May 31, 2011, 10:41:02 pm »
That aint BBQ.  When I BBQ it takes all day.  The meat, brisket, is prepared by my hands only with a homemade dry rub.  Then I start the coals in the smoker.  Then I place said brisket in the smoker for 8-12 hours depending on the size.  Once said brisket is in the smoker I start my BBQ sauce on the stove, homemade of course.  The BBQ sauce takes about 3-4 hours to fully cook down and requires frequent stirring.  Mean while the brisket is attended to on an hourly basis to ensure the correct temperature is maintained.  When said brisket is done I remove it from the smoker and slice it up for dinner.  The wife does make the potato salad most of the time though.

Now when it comes to steaks, well thats just grilling some meat no big deal.
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marmoh

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Re: The Chef
« Reply #14 on: May 31, 2011, 11:16:36 pm »
Well I wish "said brisket" was sitting in a plate in front of me right now ... sounds delicious  ::)
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