I'm not saying lets go kill all the stupid people. I'm just saying remove all the WARNING labels and let the problem work itself out.
I changed my car horn to gunshot sounds. People move out of the way quicker now.
You can tell a lot about a woman's mood by her hands. If she's holding a gun, she is probably angry.
Gone are the days when girls cooked like their Moms. Now they drink like their Dads.
You know that tingly feeling you get when you really like someone? That's common sense leaving your body.
I didn't make it to the gym today. That makes five years in a row.
I don't like making plans for the day, then the word "premeditated" gets thrown around in the courtroom.
I decided to quit calling my bathroom the JOHN and started calling it JIM. It sounds better when I say I went to the JIM this morning.
Dear paranoid people who check behind shower curtains for murderers; If you find one, what is your plan?
