Author Topic: just remember they walk among us!!  (Read 1200 times)

Offline newfie

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just remember they walk among us!!
« on: May 07, 2013, 07:58:40 pm »
Must read.... I borrowed this from a friends post..

Recently, when I went to McDonald's I saw on the menu that you could have an order of 6, 9 or 12 Chicken McNuggets.
I asked for a half dozen nuggets.
'We don't have half dozen nuggets,' said the
teenager at the counter.
'You don't?' I replied.
'We only have six, nine, or twelve,' was the reply.
'So I can't order a half dozen nuggets, but I can order six?'
'That's right.'
So I shook my head and ordered six McNuggets
(Unbelievable but sadly true...)
(Must have been the same one I asked for sweetener,
and she said they didn't have any, only Splenda and sugar.)

TWO
I was checking out at the local Wal-Mart with just a few items and the lady behind me put her things on the belt close to mine. I picked up one of those 'dividers' that they keep by the cash register and placed it between our things so they wouldn't get mixed.
After the girl had scanned all of my items, she picked up the
'divider', looking it all over for the bar code so she could scan it.
Not finding the bar code, she said to me, 'Do you know how much this is?'
I said to her 'I've changed my mind; I don't think I'll buy that today.'
She said 'OK,' and I paid her for the things and left.
She had no clue to what had just happened.

( But the lady behind me had a big smirk on her face as I left)

THREE
A woman at work was seen putting a credit card into her floppy drive and pulling it out very quickly.
When I inquired as to what she was doing, she said she was shopping on the Internet and they kept asking for a credit card number, so she was using the ATM 'thingy.'

(Keep shuddering!!)

FOUR
I recently saw a distraught young lady weeping beside her car. 'Do you need some help?' I asked. She replied, 'I knew I should have replaced the battery to this remote door unlocker. Now I can't get into my car. Do you think they (pointing to a distant convenience store) would have a battery to fit this?'
'Hmmm, I don't know. Do you have an alarm, too?' I asked.
'No, just this remote thingy,' she answered,
handing it and the car keys to me. As I
took the key and manually unlocked the door, I
replied, 'Why don't you drive over there and
check about the batteries. It's a long walk....'

PLEASE just lay down before you hurt yourself !!!

FIVE
Several years ago, we had an Intern who was none too swift. One day she was typing and turned to a secretary and said, 'I'm almost out of typing paper. What do I do?' 'Just use paper from the photocopier', the secretary told her. With that, the intern took her last remaining blank piece of paper, put it on the photocopier and proceeded to make five 'blank' copies.

Brunette, by the way!!

SIX
A mother calls 911 very worried asking the dispatcher if she needs to take her kid to the emergency room, the kid had eaten ants. The dispatcher tells her to give the kid some Benadryl and he should be fine, the mother says, 'I just gave him some ant killer......'
Dispatcher: 'Rush him in to emergency right away'

Life is tough. It's even tougher if you're Stupid!!!!
Someone had to remind me, so I'm reminding you too.
Don't laugh....it is all true...


excalibur 21
Every woodworker needs a fireplace

Offline dirtrider73068

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Re: just remember they walk among us!!
« Reply #1 on: May 07, 2013, 09:35:51 pm »
Holy crap! Thanks for the much needed laugh those are some goodies.

Offline GrayBeard

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Re: just remember they walk among us!!
« Reply #2 on: May 07, 2013, 11:29:19 pm »
Not only do they walk among us....

They REPRODUCE!

And worse yet...They VOTE!!!!!!

~~~GB~~~
I never really wanted to grow up....All I wanted was to be able to reach the cookie jar...and play with my DW 788

Offline wombatie

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Re: just remember they walk among us!!
« Reply #3 on: May 08, 2013, 02:39:43 am »
I'm sitting here laughing and shaking my head, they are unbelievable but I know that they do exist.  No wonder the world is going to c#@!.

Marg
MARG

No one notices what I do until I'm not here to do it............

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Re: just remember they walk among us!!
« Reply #4 on: May 08, 2013, 04:06:32 am »
I got a call from a friend one day asking if I could come to give him a ride to the grocery store. It seems his Wife was in line to checkout when She realized that he had taken the ATM card out of Her checkbook cover.

Asked if he took all of her checks as well..he said no, just the card.

I told him I couldn't give him a ride because my phone was nearly dead, he said he'd call his Mother. I hung up and laughed till I cried.

At least they marry before they reproduce :)
« Last Edit: May 08, 2013, 04:09:19 am by Scroll Down »

Offline Rapid Roger

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Re: just remember they walk among us!!
« Reply #5 on: May 08, 2013, 10:43:15 am »
I doubt if this is true but.......

A young lady was upset because she had locked the keys in her car and she needed to get into it quick because it looked like rain and the top was down on her convertible.!?!???

Rog
An ounce of responsablity is worth 10 pounds of state and fedral laws.

Offline dgman

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Re: just remember they walk among us!!
« Reply #6 on: May 08, 2013, 11:17:43 am »
Yeah, I was married to her at one time!
Dan In Southern California

Offline Marcellarius

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Re: just remember they walk among us!!
« Reply #7 on: May 08, 2013, 02:17:12 pm »
luckily I only have three daughters..... some recognition here ::)
hahaha
Marcel

sometimes I make designer firewood....

 

SMF

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