Wife: 'What are you doing?'
Husband: Nothing.
Wife: 'Nothing . . . ? You've been studying our marriage certificate
for quite some time.'
Husband: 'I was looking for the expiration date.'
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Wife : 'Do you want dinner?'
Husband: 'Sure! What are my choices?'
Wife: 'Yes or no.'
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Stress Reliever
Girl: 'When we get married, I want to share all your worries,
troubles and lighten your burden.'
Boy: 'It's very kind of you, darling, but I don't have any worries or
troubles.'
Girl: 'Well that's because we aren't married yet.'
------------------------------
Son: 'Mum, when I was on the bus with Dad this morning, he told me to
give up my seat to a lady.'
Mom: 'Well, you have done the right thing.'
Son: 'But mum, I was sitting on daddy's lap.'
________________________________
A newly married man asked his wife, 'Would you have married me if my
father hadn't left me a fortune?'
'Honey,' the woman replied sweetly, 'I'd have married you, NO MATTER WHO
LEFT YOU A FORTUNE!'
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A wife asked her husband: 'What do you like most in me, my pretty face or
my sexy body?'
He looked at her from head to toe and replied: 'I like your sense of
humor!'
Husbands are husbands
A man was sitting reading his papers when his wife hit him round the head
with a frying pan. 'What was that for?' the man asked. The wife replied ,
'That was for the piece of paper with the name Jenny on it that I found in
your pants pocket'. The man then said 'When I was at the races last week ,
Jenny was the name of the horse I bet on.' The wife apologized and went on
with the housework. Three days later the man is watching TV when his wife
bashes him on the head with an even bigger frying pan, knocking him
unconscious. Upon re-gaining consciousness the man asked why she had hit
again. Wife replied. 'Your horse phoned'
Let us pray......................
Give me a sense of humor, Lord,
Give me the grace to see a joke,
To get some humor out of life,
And pass it on to other folk
