Author Topic: What the engineers say and what they really mean!!!  (Read 1049 times)

Offline GrayBeard

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What the engineers say and what they really mean!!!
« on: October 20, 2012, 10:18:08 pm »
1.   A NUMBER OF DIFFERENT APPROACHES ARE BEING TRIED - We are still pissing in the wind.

2.   EXTENSIVE REPORT IS BEING PREPARED ON A FRESH APPROACH TO THE PROBLEM We just hired three kids fresh out of college.

3.   CLOSE PROJECT COORDINATION - We know who to blame.

4.   MAJOR TECHNOLOGICAL BREAKTHROUGH - It works OK, but looks very hi-tech.

5.   CUSTOMER SATISFACTION IS DELIVERED ASSURED - We are so far behind schedule the customer is happy to get it delivered.

6.   PRELIMINARY OPERATIONAL TESTS WERE INCONCLUSIVE - The darn thing blew up when we threw the switch.

7.   TEST RESULTS WERE EXTREMELY GRATIFYING - We are so surprised that the stupid thing works.

8.   THE ENTIRE CONCEPT WILL HAVE TO BE ABANDONED - The only person who understood the thing quit.

9.   IT IS IN THE PROCESS - It is so wrapped up in red tape that the situation is about hopeless.

10.   WE WILL LOOK INTO IT - Forget it. We have enough problems for now.

11.   PLEASE NOTE AND INITIAL - Let's spread the responsibility for the screw up.

12.   GIVE US THE BENEFIT OF YOUR THINKING - We'll listen to what you have to say as long as it doesn't interfere with what we've already done.

13.   GIVE US YOUR INTERPRETATION - I can't wait to hear this bull!

14.   SEE ME or LET'S DISCUSS - Come into my office, I'm lonely.

15.   ALL NEW - Parts not interchangeable with the previous design.

16.   RUGGED - Too damn heavy to lift!

17.   LIGHTWEIGHT - Lighter than RUGGED.

18.   YEARS OF DEVELOPMENT - One finally worked.

19.   ENERGY SAVING - Achieved when the power switch is off.

20.   LOW MAINTENANCE - Impossible to fix if broken.

21.   WE'RE GOING TO FOLLOW A STRICT METHODOLOGY HERE - We're going to do it my way.
I never really wanted to grow up....All I wanted was to be able to reach the cookie jar...and play with my DW 788

Offline Billy in Va

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Re: What the engineers say and what they really mean!!!
« Reply #1 on: October 21, 2012, 09:07:15 am »
I understand all the things in small letters. Those big words in all CAPS mostly have me stumped.
Common Sense is a flower that does not grow in everyone's garden
Scrollin' - Scrollin' Scrollin' on the River

Offline Al W

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Re: What the engineers say and what they really mean!!!
« Reply #2 on: October 21, 2012, 09:28:10 am »
 ;D
Molon Labe

Believe half of what you see, and none of what you hear.

The government is NOT always right, or on your side.

rob roy

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Re: What the engineers say and what they really mean!!!
« Reply #3 on: October 21, 2012, 05:45:32 pm »
If you can't fix it with a big hammer, it must be an electrical fault.
Rob Roy

Offline Marcellarius

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Re: What the engineers say and what they really mean!!!
« Reply #4 on: October 22, 2012, 01:37:55 pm »
LOL,

guess I will introduce #5 and #10 at the office  8)
Marcel

sometimes I make designer firewood....

 

SMF

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