One bitterly cold winter a sparrow who had spent two nights in the scant shelter of a tree decided he could not spend another night there. So off he flew to search for better shelter. As he flew he got colder and colder, until finally his little wings froze solid and he plummeted helplessly to the ground. As he lay freezing he realised the end of his life was nigh and he prayed for death to come quickly. Suddenly, in his semi-conscious state, he had the feeling of being enveloped in a warm covering. As he regained consciousness he discovered a passing cow had made a luxurious deposit all over him. His new lease of life and the comfortable warmth made him so happy he started to sing.
A passing pussycat heard the chirping, carefully removed the excrement to reveal the happy little sparrow - and promptly ate it.
There are three morals to this tale. Firstly, If someone s***s on you they are not necessarily your enemy. Secondly, If someone gets you out of the s**t they are not necessarily your friend.
Thirdly, If you are in the s**t, keep your mouth shut.
