Author Topic: Can't fix stupid  (Read 1004 times)

marmoh

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Can't fix stupid
« on: February 16, 2012, 09:03:41 am »
1. Recently, when I went to McDonald's I saw on the menu that you could have an order of 6, 9 or 12 Chicken McNuggets.
I asked for a half dozen nuggets.
'We don't have half dozen nuggets,' said the
teenager at the counter.
'You don't?' I replied.
'We only have six, nine, or twelve,' was the reply.
'So I can't order a half dozen nuggets, but I can order six?'
'That's right.'
So I shook my head and ordered six McNuggets
(Unbelievable but sadly true...)
(must have been the same one I asked for sweetener and she said they didn't have any, only splenda and sugar.)


2. I was checking out at the local Wal-Mart with just a few items and the lady behind me put her things on the belt close to mine. I picked up one of those 'dividers' that they keep by the cash register and placed it between our things so they wouldn't get mixed.
After the girl had scanned all of my items, she picked up the
'divider', looking it all over for the bar code so she could scan it.
Not finding the bar code, she said to me, 'Do you know how much this is?
I said to her 'I've changed my mind; I don't think I'll buy that today.
She said 'OK,' and I paid her for the things and left.
She had no clue to what had just happened.

3. A woman at work was seen putting a credit card into her
floppy drive and pulling it out very quickly.
When I inquired as to what she was doing, she said she was
shopping on the Internet and they kept asking for a credit card number, so she was using the ATM 'thingy.'(keep shuddering!!)

4. I recently saw a distraught young lady weeping beside her car.
'Do you need some help?' I asked.
She replied, 'I knew I should have replaced the
battery to this remote door unlocker. Now I
can't get into my car. Do you think they
(pointing to a distant convenience store) would
have a battery to fit this?
'Hmmm, I don't know. Do you have an alarm, too?' I asked.
'No, just this remote thingy,' she answered,
handing it and the car keys to me. As I
took the key and manually unlocked the door, I
replied, 'Why don't you drive over there and check about the batteries. It's a longwalk....'          PLEASE just lay down before you hurt yourself !!!

5. Several years ago, we had an Intern who was none too swift. One day she was typing and turned to a secretary and said, 'I'm almost out of typing paper. What do I do?' 'Just use paper from the photocopier', the secretary told her. With that, the intern took her last remaining blank piece of paper, put it on the photocopier and proceeded to make five 'blank' copies.
Brunette, by the way!!

6. A mother calls 911 very worried asking the dispatcher if she needs to take her kid to the emergency room, the kid had eaten ants. The dispatcher tells her to give the
kid some Benadryl and he should be fine, the mother says, 'I just gave him some ant killer......'
Dispatcher: 'Rush him in to emergency!' Life is tough. It's even tougher if you're stupid!!!!  

Offline Al W

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Re: Can't fix stupid
« Reply #1 on: February 16, 2012, 10:03:25 am »
AND

They vote as well.

Molon Labe

Believe half of what you see, and none of what you hear.

The government is NOT always right, or on your side.

Offline newfie

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Re: Can't fix stupid
« Reply #2 on: February 16, 2012, 10:31:05 am »
LOL as Ron White says "YOU CAN'T FIX STUPID". i know a young woman from town i was telling her when i was younger my parents use to have chickens,every morning we go out and get eggs some white ones and some brown ones. she look at me and said how you get brown eggs so i told her from brown chickens and she believed it. about an hour or so later she looked at me again and said is that true you get brown eggs from brown chickens so i looked at her and said do you get chocolate milk from brown cows no she said DUH.LOL so i told that brown eggs are whole wheat,that makes better sense she said about a month or so later she went to the local grocery store and asked for whole wheat eggs.when the workers there didn't what she was talking about she told them what i said so the next time i went to the grocery store there was a bit of laughter going on and i didn't tell her the difference yet.LOL "YOU CAN'T FIX STUPID"LOL


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Every woodworker needs a fireplace

Offline Rapid Roger

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Re: Can't fix stupid
« Reply #3 on: February 16, 2012, 10:40:59 am »
My purchase came to $11. 14. I gave the cashier a $20.00, a $1.00 a dime and 4 Penny's. She gave back the $1, the dime and the 4 Penny's and proceeded to give me the change from the $20.00 saying that I had given her too much money.  :o  I just said that a $10.00 bill would have been enough change and walked out.  >:(

Rog
An ounce of responsablity is worth 10 pounds of state and fedral laws.

thawkins57

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Re: Can't fix stupid
« Reply #4 on: February 16, 2012, 02:48:36 pm »
Life is tough. It's even tougher if you're stupid!!!!  

One of my all time favorite sayings is, "Life is hard, get a helmet."

dirts

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Re: Can't fix stupid
« Reply #5 on: February 16, 2012, 06:47:08 pm »
Hawkins I'm designing a t shirt with that one on it. Thats great.

thawkins57

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Re: Can't fix stupid
« Reply #6 on: February 16, 2012, 07:02:00 pm »
Jeez, talk about stupid... I posted this on the wrong thread!  LOL

Wait! No I didn't... OMG I need to go home... Been a LONG day...
« Last Edit: February 16, 2012, 07:03:33 pm by thawkins57 »

Offline Russ C

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Re: Can't fix stupid
« Reply #7 on: February 16, 2012, 08:52:42 pm »
Good one, LMBO  :D  :D  :D
russ@simplywoodencreations.com

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J,Hamilton

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Re: Can't fix stupid
« Reply #8 on: February 22, 2012, 08:24:55 pm »
You can fix stupid. There are special pills that have been out for years now. They are not FDA approved but these work wonders. The pills are made lead and come in many calibers. The delivery system is the expensive part.

 

SMF

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