Author Topic: A message to my pets!  (Read 873 times)

Offline GrayBeard

  • *****
  • Hero Member
  • Posts: 7088
  • My DW 788 sends you HUGZZZZ from Missouri, USA!
    • View Profile
A message to my pets!
« on: March 24, 2012, 12:32:17 pm »


FOR THOSE OF YOU WHO HAVE PETS, THIS IS A TRUE STORY.
FOR THOSE THAT DON'T, IT IS A TRUE STORY.
 
The following was found posted very low on a refrigerator door.
 
Dear Dogs and Cats: The dishes on the floor with the paw prints are yours and contain your food The other dishes are mine and contain my food. Placing a paw print in the middle of my plate does not mean that is is suddenly your food, nor do I find that aesthetically pleasing in the slightest.

The stairway was not designed by NASCAR and is not a racetrack.
Racing me to the top of the stairs is not the object.
Tripping me doesn't help because I fall faster than you can run.

I cannot buy anything bigger than a king sized bed. I am very sorry about this. Do not think I will continue sleeping on the couch to ensure your comfort. Dogs and cats can actually curl up in a ball when they sleep. It Is not necessary to sleep perpendicular to each other, stretched out to the fullest extent possible. I also know that sticking tails straight out
and having tongues hanging out on the other end to
maximize space that you are taking up, is nothing but sarcasm.

For the last time, there is no secret exit from the bathroom!  If, by some miracle, I beat you there and manage to get the door shut, it is not necessary to claw, whine, meow, try to turn the knob or get your paw under the edge in an attempt to open the door. I must exit through the same door I entered. Also, I have been using the bathroom for years - canine/feline attendance is not required.

The proper order for kissing is: Kiss me first, then go smell
the other dog or cat's butt. I cannot stress this enough.

Finally, in fairness, dear pets, I have posted the following
message on the front door:
TO ALL NON-PET OWNERS WHO VISIT AND
LIKE TO COMPLAIN ABOUT OUR PETS:
(1) They live here. You don't.
(2) If you don't want their hair on your clothes, stay off the furniture. That's why they call it 'fur'-niture.
(3) I like my pets a lot better than I like most people.
(4) To you, they are animals. To me, they are adopted sons/daughters who are short, hairy, walk on all fours and don't speak clearly. Remember, dogs and cats are better than kids because they:
(1) eat less,
(2) don't ask for money all the time,
(3) are easier to train,
(4) normally come when called,
(5) never ask to drive the car,
(6) don't hang out with drug-using people;
(7) don't smoke or drink,
(8) don't want to wear your clothes,
(9) don't have to buy the latest fashions,
(10) don't need a gazillion dollars for college and
(11) if they get pregnant, you can sell their children.....
I never really wanted to grow up....All I wanted was to be able to reach the cookie jar...and play with my DW 788

Offline dgman

  • *****
  • Hero Member
  • Posts: 6916
    • View Profile
Re: A message to my pets!
« Reply #1 on: March 24, 2012, 01:45:38 pm »
So true GB except for #8. My son would never consider wearing anything I own!
Dan In Southern California

Offline Keefie

  • *****
  • Hero Member
  • Posts: 4550
    • View Profile
Re: A message to my pets!
« Reply #2 on: March 24, 2012, 04:22:24 pm »
so very true - ESPECIALLY the order for kissing
It's all a case of "Mind over Matter",  The Government don't Mind, and I don't Matter.

Offline cdrover(Clyde)

  • *****
  • Hero Member
  • Posts: 1641
    • View Profile
Re: A message to my pets!
« Reply #3 on: March 24, 2012, 06:27:34 pm »
We are between pets at the moment. Too painful when they get sick and there is no help for them. Lost our last 2 cats that way. :'(. But I have copied this to send to all me pet loving friends. Thanks :)
What are we here for but to help others. (Author unknown)
Clyde

Offline MOONIE

  • ***
  • Full Member
  • Posts: 224
    • View Profile
Re: A message to my pets!
« Reply #4 on: March 24, 2012, 09:59:47 pm »
Really enoyed that, thanks GB.   I too, will send it to my friends.   Clyde, I know how you feel.  We recently lost our pet cat and went a few months without a pet until a friend could no longer keep his female calico due to of his heart surgery. We adopted her and glad we did.  She's a delight!
MOONIE

Offline wombatie

  • *****
  • Hero Member
  • Posts: 5557
  • Victoria Australia
    • View Profile
Re: A message to my pets!
« Reply #5 on: March 26, 2012, 01:25:00 am »
I loved that.  I sent it on to all my animal loving friends.  I feel the same as you Clyde, we lost our last cat last year and I cannot bring myself to replace her its too hard when you have to say goodbye. :'( :'(

Marg
MARG

No one notices what I do until I'm not here to do it............

 

SMF

Teknoromi