Author Topic: Hospital Sponge Bath  (Read 2640 times)

Offline Keefie

  • *****
  • Hero Member
  • Posts: 4550
    • View Profile
Hospital Sponge Bath
« on: February 24, 2012, 05:04:20 am »
 

A male patient is lying in bed in the hospital, wearing an oxygen mask
over his mouth and nose. A young student nurse appears to give him a partial
sponge bath.
"Nurse,"' he mumbles from behind the mask, "are my testicles black?"
Embarrassed, the young nurse replies, "I don't know, Sir. I'm only here to
wash your upper body and feet."
He struggles to ask again, "Nurse, please check for me. Are my testicles
black?"
Concerned that he might elevate his blood pressure and heart rate from
worrying about his testicles, she overcomes her embarrassment and pulls back
the covers.
She raises his gown, holds his manhood in one hand and his testicles in the
other.
She looks very closely and says, "There's nothing wrong with them, Sir.
They look fine."
The man slowly pulls off his oxygen mask, smiles at her, and says very
slowly, "Thank you very much. That was wonderful. Now listen very, very
closely: Are - my - test - results - back?"

 
 
It's all a case of "Mind over Matter",  The Government don't Mind, and I don't Matter.

Offline iggygiles

  • ***
  • Full Member
  • Posts: 189
  • I jus love sawdust
    • View Profile
Re: Hospital Sponge Bath
« Reply #1 on: February 24, 2012, 05:48:07 am »
     Nice one Keith, Now what did I do with that mask??
Frustration is the food of invention.

Offline newfie

  • *****
  • Hero Member
  • Posts: 5037
  • The Way I Scroll
    • View Profile
    • some of my woodworking
Re: Hospital Sponge Bath
« Reply #2 on: February 24, 2012, 06:01:57 am »
LOL


excalibur 21
Every woodworker needs a fireplace

Offline Russ C

  • *****
  • Hero Member
  • Global Moderator
  • Posts: 8458
  • Central Florida - USA
    • View Profile
Re: Hospital Sponge Bath
« Reply #3 on: February 24, 2012, 06:56:05 am »
 :o  :o  :o  ROFLMBO  :D  :D  :D
russ@simplywoodencreations.com

Keep The Blade On The Line.

Offline GrayBeard

  • *****
  • Hero Member
  • Posts: 7088
  • My DW 788 sends you HUGZZZZ from Missouri, USA!
    • View Profile
Re: Hospital Sponge Bath
« Reply #4 on: February 24, 2012, 10:10:58 am »
Almost! got the monitor again!

That is one I have not heard and it will be added to my collection!

~~~GB~~~
I never really wanted to grow up....All I wanted was to be able to reach the cookie jar...and play with my DW 788

boxmaker

  • Guest
Re: Hospital Sponge Bath
« Reply #5 on: February 24, 2012, 10:32:44 pm »
You got me, that was a good one.  :o :o :o

daliclimbs

  • Guest
Re: Hospital Sponge Bath
« Reply #6 on: February 24, 2012, 11:24:04 pm »
LOL... that's a good one!

Offline wombatie

  • *****
  • Hero Member
  • Posts: 5557
  • Victoria Australia
    • View Profile
Re: Hospital Sponge Bath
« Reply #7 on: February 25, 2012, 12:03:33 am »
 :D :D :D :D

Marg
MARG

No one notices what I do until I'm not here to do it............

Offline Gabby

  • *****
  • Hero Member
  • Posts: 3069
  • Yer durn tootin'!
    • View Profile
Re: Hospital Sponge Bath
« Reply #8 on: February 29, 2012, 11:43:23 pm »
It's been a little too soon to be funny just yet, some of those nurses or aides could be less than gentle when conducting clean up, ripping in from behind with a cold wet sanitary disposable wipe, fore sure get's your attention!
Gabby
MOLON LABE.
TRUST IN GOD!
 DON'T BELIEVE ALL YOU HEAR & DON'T SAY ALL THAT YOU THINK !

 

SMF

Teknoromi