A physician claimed that the following are actual comments made by his patients (predominately male) while he was performing their colonoscopies:
"I usually don't do this on the first date."
"Take it easy, Doc. You're boldly going where no man has gone before!"
"Find Amelia Earhart yet?"
"Can you hear me now?"
"Are we there yet? Are we there yet? Are we there yet?"
"You know, in Arkansas, we're now legally married."
"Any sign of the trapped miners, Chief?"
"You put your left hand in, you take your left hand out, you put your left and in and you shake it all about...."
"Hey! Now I know how a Muppet feels!"
"If your hand doesn't fit, you must quit!"
"Hey Doc, let me know if you find my dignity."
"You used to be an executive at Enron, didn't you?"
And the best one of them all...
"Could you write a note for my wife saying that, in your considered medical opinion, my head is not up there?"
~~~GB~~~
