JEWISH REVENGE
A US Navy cruiser anchored in Mississippi for a week's shore leave. The
first evening, the ship's Captain received the following note from the wife
of a wealthy plantation owner:
"Dear Captain,
Thursday will be my daughter Melinda's Debutante Ball. I would like you to
send four well-mannered, handsome, unmarried officers in their formal dress
uniforms to attend the dance. They should arrive promptly at 8:00pm, for an
evening of polite Southern conversation. They should be excellent dancers,
as they will be the escorts of refined young ladies.
One last point: No Jews please."
Sending a written message by his own yeoman, the captain replied:
Madam,
Thank you for your invitation. In order to present the widest possible
knowledge base for polite conversation, I am sending four of my best and
most prized officers, all unmarried.
One is a lieutenant commander, and a graduate of Annapolis with an
additional Masters degree from MIT in fluid technologies and ship design. He
is a current Chairman at a Toastmasters Chapter.
The second is a Lieutenant, a helicopter pilot, and a graduate of
Northwestern University in Chicago, with a BSC in Aeronautical Engineering.
He has a Masters Degree and PhD in Aeronautical and Mechanical Engineering
and is also an astronaut candidate.
The third officer is also a lieutenant, with degrees in both computer
systems and information technology from SMU and he is awaiting notification
on his Doctoral Dissertation from Cal Tech.
The fourth officer, also a lieutenant commander, is our ships doctor, with
an undergraduate degree from the University of Georgia and his medical
degree is from the University of North Carolina. We are very proud of him,
as he is also a senior fellow in Trauma Surgery at Bethesda.
Upon receiving this letter, Melindas mother was quite excited and looked
forward to Thursday with pleasure. Her daughter would be escorted by four
handsome and highly-qualified naval officers; and the other women in her
social circle would be insanely jealous.
At precisely 8pm on Thursday, Melinda's mother answered a knock on the
door to find, in smart dress uniform, four handsome, smiling officers all black.
Her mouth fell open, but pulling herself together, she stammered, "There
must be some mistake."
"No, Madam," said the first officer. "Captain Goldberg never makes mistakes."
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