TECH SUPPORT
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Tech Support: What kind of computer do you have?
Customer: A white one.
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Customer: Hi, this is Celine. I can't get my DVD
out !!!
Tech Support: Have you tried pushing the button?
Customer: Yes, I'm sure it's really stuck.
Tech Support: That doesn't sound good; I'll make a note.
Customer: No, wait a minute, I hadn't inserted it yet.
It's still on my desk . . . sorry. Thank you.
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Tech Support: Click on the 'MY COMPUTER' icon on the
left of the screen.
Customer: Your left or my left?
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Tech Support: Hello. How may I help you?
Male Customer: Hi . . . I can't print.
Tech Support: Would you click on 'START' for me and . . .
Customer: Listen pal; don't start getting technical on
me. I'm not Billi Gates!!!
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Customer: I have problems printing in red.
Tech Support: Do you have a color printer?
Customer: Aaaah . . . . . . . . . . thank you.
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Tech Support: What's on your monitor now, ma'am?
Customer: A teddy bear that my boyfriend bought for
me at the 7-11 store.
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Customer: My keyboard is not working anymore.
Tech Support: Are you sure your keyboard is plugged
into the computer?
Customer: No. I can't get behind the computer.
Tech Support: Pick up your keyboard and take ten
steps backwards.
Customer: Okay.
Tech Support: Did the keyboard come with you?
Customer: Yes.
Tech Support: That means the keyboard is not plugged
in.
Customer: Wait a moment please. . . . . . . Ah, now it does work.
Thanks.
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Tech Support: Your password is the small letter 'a' as in
apple, a capital letter 'V' as in Victor, and the number '7'.
Customer: Is that '7' in capital letters?
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Customer: I can't get on the internet.
Tech Support: Are you absolutely sure you used the
correct password?
Customer: Yes, I'm sure. I saw my co-worker do it.
Tech Support: Can you tell me what the password was?
Customer: Five dots. (The tears are rolling down my face from this one! )
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Tech Support: What anti-virus program do you use?
Customer: Netscape.
Tech Support: That's not an anti-virus program.
Customer: Oh, sorry . . . Internet Explorer.
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Tech Support: How may I help you?
Customer: I'm writing my first email.
Tech Support: OK, and what seems to be the problem?
Customer: Well, I have the letter 'a' in the address,
but how do I get the little circle around it.
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A woman customer called the Canon help desk because
she had a problem with her printer.
Tech Support: Are you running it under windows?
Customer: No, my desk is next to the door, but that
is a good point. The man sitting next to me is by
a window, and his printer is working fine!
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And last, but not least . . .
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Tech Support: Okay Bob, press the control and escape
keys at the same time. That brings up a task list in the
middle of the screen. Now, type the letter 'P' to bring
up the Program Manager.
Customer: I don't have a 'P'.
Tech Support: On your keyboard, Bob.
Customer: What do you mean ?
Tech Support: 'P' . . . on your keyboard, Bob.
Customer: I AM NOT GOING TO DO THAT!!!
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This oughta make you feel better about your computer skills
~~~GB~~~
