INSTALL A HOMEMADE SECURITY SYSTEM
1. Go to a secondhand store and buy a pair of men's well used size 14-16 work boots.
2. Place them on your front porch, along with a copy of Guns & Ammo Magazine.
3. Put a three giant dog dishes next to the boots and magazine.
4 Leave a note on your door that reads:
Bubba,
Bertha, Duke, Slim, & I went to store for more ammo and beer.
Back in an hour.
Don't mess with the pit bulls - they attacked the mailman this morning and messed him up bad.
I don't think Killer took part, but it was hard to tell from all the blood.
Anyways, I locked them in the house.
Better wait outside. Be right back.
Hooter
