My Mother Taught Me?
TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE: "If you're going to kill each other, do it outside. I just finished cleaning."
RELIGION: "You better pray that will come out of the carpet."
TIME TRAVEL: "If you don't straighten up, I'm going to knock you into the middle of next week!"
LOGIC: " Because I said so, that's why."
MORE LOGIC: "If you fall out of that swing and break your neck, you're not going to the store with me."
FORESIGHT: ?Make sure you wear clean underwear, in case you're in an accident."
IRONY: "Keep crying, and I'll give you something to cry about."
OSMOSIS: ?Shut your mouth and eat your supper."
CONTORTIONISM: ?Will you look at that dirt on the back of your neck!"
STAMINA: "You'll sit there until all that spinach is gone."
WEATHER: "This room of yours looks as if a tornado went through it."
HYPOCRISY: "If I told you once, I've told you a million times. Don't exaggerate!"
CIRCLE OF LIFE: "I brought you into this world, and I can take you out."
BEHAVIOR MODIFICATION: "Stop acting like your father!"
ENVY: "There are millions of less fortunate children in this world who don't have wonderful parents like you do."
ANTICIPATION: "Just wait until we get home"
RECEIVING: "You are going to get it when you get home!"
MEDICAL SCIENCE: "If you don't stop crossing your eyes, they are going to freeze that way."
ESP: "Put your sweater on; don't you think I know when you are cold?"
HUMOUR: "When that lawn mower cuts off your toes, don't come running to me."
HOW TO BECOME AN ADULT: "If you don't eat your vegetables, you'll never grow up."
GENETICS: "You're just like your father."
ROOTS: "Shut that door behind you. Do you think you were born in a barn?"
WISDOM: "When you get to be my age, you'll understand."
JUSTICE: "One day you'll have kids, and I hope they turn out just like you!"
