1. My mother taught me ~ To appreciate a job well done.
?If you're going to kill each other, do it outside. I just finished cleaning."
2. My mother taught me ~ Religion.
"You better pray that will come out of the carpet."
3. My mother taught me about ~ Time travel.
"If you don't straighten up, I'm going to knock you into the middle of next week!"
4. My mother taught me ~ Logic.
"Because I said so, that's why."
5. My mother taught me ~ More logic.
"If you fall out of that swing and break your neck, you're not going to the store with me."
6. My mother taught me ~ Foresight.
"Make sure you wear clean underwear, in case you're in an accident."
7. My mother taught me ~ Irony.
"Keep crying, and I'll give you something to cry about."
8. My mother taught me ~ About the science of osmosis.
"Shut your mouth and eat your supper."
9. My mother taught me ~ About contortionism.
"Will you look at that dirt on the back of your neck!"
10. My mother taught me ~ About stamina.
"You'll sit there until all that spinach is gone."
11. My mother taught me ~ About weather.
"This room of yours looks as if a tornado went through it."
12. My mother taught me ~ About hypocrisy.
"If I told you once, I've told you a million times. Don't exaggerate!"
13. My mother taught me ~ The circle of life.
"I brought you into this world, and I can take you out."
14. My mother taught me ~ About behavior modification.
"Stop acting like your father!"
15. My mother taught me ~ About envy.
"There are millions of less fortunate children in this world who don't have wonderful parents like you do."
16. My mother taught me ~ About anticipation.
"Just wait until we get home."
17. My mother taught me ~ About receiving.
"You are going to get it when you get home!"
18. My mother taught me ~ Medical science.
"If you don't stop crossing your eyes, they are going to get stuck that way."
19. My mother taught me ~ ESP.
"Put your sweater on; don't you think I know when you are cold?"
20. My mother taught me ~ Humor.
"When that lawn mower cuts off your toes, don't come running to me."
21. My mother taught me ~ How to become an adult.
"If you don't eat your vegetables, you'll never grow up."
22. My mother taught me ~ Genetics.
"You're just like your father."
23. My mother taught me ~ About my roots.
"Shut that door behind you. Do you think you were born in a barn?"
24. My mother taught me ~ Wisdom.
"When you get to be my age, you'll understand."
And my favorite:
25. My mother taught me ~ About justice.
"One day you'll have kids, and I hope they turn out just like you."
