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Messages - BilltheDiver

Pages: 1 ... 60 61 [62] 63 64 ... 99
916
The Coffee Shop / Snotty receptionist
« on: October 21, 2011, 12:14:26 am »
Snotty  Receptionist

Yesterday  I had an appointment to see the urologist for a prostate exam.
Of course I was a  bit on edge because all my friends have either gone under
the knife or had those  pellets implanted .......

The waiting room was filled with patients.


As I approached  the receptionist's desk, I noticed that the receptionist
was a large unfriendly  woman who looked like a Sumo wrestler. I gave her my
name.


In a very  loud voice, the receptionist said, "YES,  I HAVE YOUR NAME HERE;
YOU WANT TO SEE THE DOCTOR ABOUT IMPOTENCE, RIGHT?"

All  the patients in the waiting room snapped their heads around to look at
me, a now  very embarrassed man. But as usual, I recovered quickly, and in
an equally loud  voice replied,

'NO,  I?VE COME TO INQUIRE ABOUT A SEX CHANGE OPERATION, BUT I  DON'T WANT
THE SAME DOCTOR THAT DID YOURS."

The  room erupted in applause!

DON'T  MESS WITH OLD RETIRED GUYS

917
Brag Forum / Re: Big Vase
« on: October 20, 2011, 03:49:08 pm »
above my pay grade Charlie!

918
The Coffee Shop / Re: GrayBeard
« on: October 20, 2011, 03:46:55 pm »
Great new and I am glad to hear it!  If your table saw is your loudest tool then I have to assume you don't have a surface planer.  Mine makes my tablesaw whisper.

919
The Coffee Shop / Ornament exchange
« on: October 20, 2011, 09:28:47 am »
I posted this on the 2011 Ornament Exchange topic, but I thought it might not be seen there, so I am reposting here.

I can't believe it!  I already received my ornaments today all the way from New Zealand from Jimbo.  You must have really gotten an early start Jimbo.  I haven't even picked my design yet.  Jimbo sent me two beautiful ornaments, one of which is from an indigenous wood, and even sent me a pen he turned and a set of three blanks of recycled Rimu wood.  I guarantee you won't find that in a shop in Florida Jimbo.  My wife & I don't set out a big tree any longer, and she wants to start a tradition of setting out a small one decorated with scrolled ornaments from my friends here on the forum.

Thanks, Jimbo!  and thanks to Russ for organizing this celebration again.

920
The Coffee Shop / Re: My LAST day!
« on: October 19, 2011, 11:51:16 pm »
Wishes for nothing but the best Ed!

921
General Scroll Saw Talk / Re: Birthday Gift
« on: October 19, 2011, 11:41:29 pm »
I wonder if he would like my address and the date of my birthday?

Congratulations!

922
General Scroll Saw Talk / Re: Wood Dyes
« on: October 19, 2011, 09:24:12 am »
There is probably a lot you could do with it.  Years ago I owned a pipe & tobacco shop and did repairs on smoking pipes for customers.  I had a set of dyes that I used to match the colors of the wood whenever we had to sand off a touch to fit a new stem.  It took a bit of a learning curve, but worked out perfectly.  I have often wished I had a source for those dyes for my wood shop.  It would really work for small things like letter openers, bookmarks, etc where a splash of color grabs the attention.  It actually worked well on wood with a lot of figure to as the contrast shows through the dye.

923
Brag Forum / Re: Buisness card holder and business cards
« on: October 19, 2011, 01:19:42 am »
Very nice and useful!

924
General Scroll Saw Talk / Re: Wood Dyes
« on: October 19, 2011, 01:16:08 am »
nice link Gabby.  I wish they had a multicolor pack for a special deal.

925
Brag Forum / Re: Gift Box
« on: October 18, 2011, 10:05:19 am »
Very nice!  You always set the bar high DW.  I aspire to turn out projects as nice as yours.

926
Introduce Yourself. / Re: A new beginning
« on: October 17, 2011, 12:59:24 pm »
Welcome from St Pete, Florida Bo!  Watch out!  You have entered into something that can become truly addictive.

927
Pattern Requests. / Re: Aloha
« on: October 17, 2011, 12:57:34 pm »
Mahalo!

928
Pattern Requests. / Re: Here you go Gabby
« on: October 17, 2011, 11:39:08 am »
Could be construed as "premeditation" or evidence of "intent".  How about a simple sign that quotes a great movie, "Are you feeling lucky Punk?  Well, are you?".    :o

929
General Scroll Saw Talk / Re: RE: SawStop!!!
« on: October 13, 2011, 11:03:31 am »
By the way:

GB: I didn't mean to hijack the thread.  i have read just about everything regarding this lawsuit, and my personal opinion is that the manufacturer had about the least fault of anyone involved in the incident.  I am just astonished at how people refuse to take any personal responsibility for their own actions anymore.  Even down to the point of pedestrians at crosswalks.  I know they have the right of way, but if I am on foot, you better believe I look before crossing regardless of who has the right of way.  I think this "entitlement" attitude is the cause of much of the world's  problems.  That is not to say there aren't people with legitimate cases, but things have gotten more than a little extreme.

930
General Scroll Saw Talk / Re: RE: SawStop!!!
« on: October 13, 2011, 10:57:19 am »
That's a good idea Torsten!  Maybe Grampa or one of our great pattern makers could do it for us.

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