61
The Coffee Shop / Re: Detection of Dumb
« on: October 15, 2010, 09:49:30 am »
Great joke.
Chase
Chase
News: Had a couple issues with the forum today. 1/19/2017. I believe I have them corrected now. Let me know if you have any trouble. Thanks.
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62
The Coffee Shop / The Speeding Ticket
« on: October 14, 2010, 01:17:49 pm »
A mature (over 50) lady gets pulled over for speeding...
Woman: Is there a problem, Officer?
Officer: Ma'am, you were speeding.
Woman: Oh, I see.
Officer: Can I see your license please?
Woman: I'd give it to you but I don't have one.
Officer: Don't have one?
Woman: Lost it, 4 years ago for drunk driving.
Officer: I see.. Can I see your vehicle registration papers please?
Woman: I can't do that.
Officer: Why not?
Woman: I stole this car.
Officer: Stole it?
Woman: Yes, and I killed and hacked up the owner.
Officer: You what?
Woman: His body parts are in plastic bags in the trunk if you want to see.
The Officer looks at the woman and slowly backs away to his car and calls for back up. Within minutes 5 police cars circle the car. A senior officer slowly approaches the car, clasping his half drawn gun.
Officer 2: Ma'am, could you step out of your vehicle please! The woman steps out of her vehicle.
Woman: Is there a problem sir?
Officer 2: One of my officers told me that you have stolen this car and murdered the owner.
Woman: Murdered the owner?
Officer 2: Yes, could you please open the trunk of your car, please.
The woman opens the trunk, revealing nothing but an empty trunk..
Officer 2: Is this your car, ma'am?
Woman: Yes, here are the registration papers. The officer is quite stunned.
Officer 2: One of my officers claims that you do not have a driving license. The woman digs into her handbag and pulls out a clutch purse and hands it to the officer.
The officer examines the license. He looks quite puzzled.
Officer 2: Thank you ma'am, one of my officers told me you didn't have a license, that you stole this car, and that you murdered and hacked up the owner.
Woman: I bet the liar told you I was speeding, too.
Moral: Don't Mess With Mature Ladies
Woman: Is there a problem, Officer?
Officer: Ma'am, you were speeding.
Woman: Oh, I see.
Officer: Can I see your license please?
Woman: I'd give it to you but I don't have one.
Officer: Don't have one?
Woman: Lost it, 4 years ago for drunk driving.
Officer: I see.. Can I see your vehicle registration papers please?
Woman: I can't do that.
Officer: Why not?
Woman: I stole this car.
Officer: Stole it?
Woman: Yes, and I killed and hacked up the owner.
Officer: You what?
Woman: His body parts are in plastic bags in the trunk if you want to see.
The Officer looks at the woman and slowly backs away to his car and calls for back up. Within minutes 5 police cars circle the car. A senior officer slowly approaches the car, clasping his half drawn gun.
Officer 2: Ma'am, could you step out of your vehicle please! The woman steps out of her vehicle.
Woman: Is there a problem sir?
Officer 2: One of my officers told me that you have stolen this car and murdered the owner.
Woman: Murdered the owner?
Officer 2: Yes, could you please open the trunk of your car, please.
The woman opens the trunk, revealing nothing but an empty trunk..
Officer 2: Is this your car, ma'am?
Woman: Yes, here are the registration papers. The officer is quite stunned.
Officer 2: One of my officers claims that you do not have a driving license. The woman digs into her handbag and pulls out a clutch purse and hands it to the officer.
The officer examines the license. He looks quite puzzled.
Officer 2: Thank you ma'am, one of my officers told me you didn't have a license, that you stole this car, and that you murdered and hacked up the owner.
Woman: I bet the liar told you I was speeding, too.
Moral: Don't Mess With Mature Ladies
63
The Coffee Shop / Restroom Signs--A Series--Thursday
« on: October 14, 2010, 09:36:29 am »
This is a new series. Some of these may be somewhat risque . If you are easily offended, or somewhat prudish, please pass on this series.
64
The Coffee Shop / Restroom Signs--A Series
« on: October 13, 2010, 12:22:47 pm »
This is a new series. Some of these may be somewhat risque (hey, even us WV folks know some foreign words). If you are easily offended, or somewhat prudish, pls pass on this series.
65
The Coffee Shop / Male Sensitivity
« on: October 12, 2010, 04:17:28 pm »
Hope this hasn't been around before.
The room was full of pregnant women with their partners. The class was in full swing. The instructor was teaching the women how to breathe properly and was telling the men how to give the necessary assurance to their partners at this stage of the pregnancy.
She said "Ladies, remember that exercise is good for you. Walking is especially beneficial. It strengthens the pelvic muscles and will make delivery that much easier." Just take several stops and stay on a soft surface like grass or a path.
She looked at the men in the room and said, "Gentlemen, remember -- you're in this together -- It wouldn't hurt you to go walking with her.
The room suddenly got very quiet as the men absorbed this information.
Then a man at the back of the room slowly raised his hand.
"Yes, answered the instructor.
"I was just wondering if it would be all right if she carries a golf bag while we walk??
This kind of sensitivity just can't be taught.
Submitted by Chase
The room was full of pregnant women with their partners. The class was in full swing. The instructor was teaching the women how to breathe properly and was telling the men how to give the necessary assurance to their partners at this stage of the pregnancy.
She said "Ladies, remember that exercise is good for you. Walking is especially beneficial. It strengthens the pelvic muscles and will make delivery that much easier." Just take several stops and stay on a soft surface like grass or a path.
She looked at the men in the room and said, "Gentlemen, remember -- you're in this together -- It wouldn't hurt you to go walking with her.
The room suddenly got very quiet as the men absorbed this information.
Then a man at the back of the room slowly raised his hand.
"Yes, answered the instructor.
"I was just wondering if it would be all right if she carries a golf bag while we walk??
This kind of sensitivity just can't be taught.
Submitted by Chase
66
The Coffee Shop / Re: The E. R. .......
« on: October 12, 2010, 09:40:59 am »
No problem GB. Happened to me on one of your posts. Although I have a photographic memory, I sometimes forget to put in the film.
Chase
Chase
67
The Coffee Shop / why Men Need Supervision--Last of the Series
« on: October 10, 2010, 10:17:50 am »
Ok folks. Last of this series. Hope you enjoyed.
Chase
Chase
68
The Coffee Shop / Why Men Need Supervision--A Series--Saturday
« on: October 09, 2010, 09:04:02 am »
Looks "cool" to me.
69
The Coffee Shop / Why Men Need Supervision--A Series--Friday
« on: October 08, 2010, 09:41:41 am »
Only in my home state
70
The Coffee Shop / Why Men Need Supervision--A Series--Thursday
« on: October 07, 2010, 09:55:13 am »
I hesitate to post this. Everyone will want one this Christmas.
71
The Coffee Shop / Why Men Need Supervision--A Series--Wednesday
« on: October 06, 2010, 10:35:24 am »
This looks like fun.
72
The Coffee Shop / Why Men Need Supervision--A Series--Tuesday
« on: October 05, 2010, 09:51:00 am »
Pic 11
Another favorite.
Another favorite.
73
The Coffee Shop / Why Men Need Supervision--A Series--Monday
« on: October 04, 2010, 08:36:02 am »
Pic 10
74
The Coffee Shop / Why Men Need Supervision--A Series--Sunday
« on: October 03, 2010, 09:18:40 am »
Pic 9
Hope these are good tires.
Hope these are good tires.
75
The Coffee Shop / Why Men Need Supervision--A Series--Saturday
« on: October 02, 2010, 09:32:23 am »
Pic 8--Actually this isn't such a bad idea. Think I'll try it.
