Messages

481

The Coffee Shop / Girls' Night Out

« on: December 09, 2012, 06:52:49 pm »

Two women friends had gone for a girl's night out. They were drunk, walking home, and they needed to pee, so they stopped in the cemetery.
 One of them had nothing to wipe with, so she thought she would take off her panties and use them.
 The other friend didn't want to ruin her panties, but she was lucky enough to squat down next to a grave that had a wreath with a ribbon on it.
 They went home and the next day one of the women's husbands called the other and said, "These girls' nights have got to stop! My wife came home with no panties!!"
 "That's nothing" said the other husband, "Mine came back with a card stuck to her butt that said.....
 "From all of us at the Fire Station. We'll never forget you"

482

The Coffee Shop / Re: Secret Santa Arrived!

« on: December 09, 2012, 01:34:17 pm »

Pete, looks like these are 2.5mm ply. Two pieces, the santa and reindeer are overlayed. Not sure what type of paint, but I like the way it makes it look antique.

Sheila, I want to hang it on out Christmas tree, but we are in the process of moving, so no tree this year. 

483

The Coffee Shop / Secret Santa Arrived!

« on: December 09, 2012, 10:55:06 am »

Thanks Dennis (Michigan Scroller)! 

484

The Coffee Shop / Cranky Old Man

« on: December 05, 2012, 10:20:29 am »

When an old man died in the geriatric ward of a nursing home in an Australian country town, it was believed that he had nothing left of any value.
Later, when the nurses were going through his meager possessions, They found this poem. Its quality and content so impressed the staff that copies were made and distributed to every nurse in the hospital.

One nurse took her copy to Melbourne. The old man's sole bequest to posterity has since appeared in the Christmas editions of magazines around the country and appearing in mags for Mental Health. A slide presentation has also been made based on his simple, but eloquent, poem.

And this old man, with nothing left to give to the world, is now the author of this 'anonymous' poem winging across the Internet.

Cranky Old Man

What do you see nurses? . . .. . .What do you see?
What are you thinking .. . when you're looking at me?
A cranky old man, . . . . . .not very wise,
Uncertain of habit .. . . . . . . .. with faraway eyes?
Who dribbles his food .. . ... . . and makes no reply.
When you say in a loud voice . .'I do wish you'd try!'
Who seems not to notice . . .the things that you do.
And forever is losing . . . . . .. . . A sock or shoe?
Who, resisting or not . . . ... lets you do as you will,
With bathing and feeding . . . .The long day to fill?
Is that what you're thinking?. .Is that what you see?
Then open your eyes, nurse .you're not looking at me.
I'll tell you who I am . . . . .. As I sit here so still,
As I do at your bidding, .. . . . as I eat at your will.
I'm a small child of Ten . .with a father and mother,
Brothers and sisters .. . . .. . who love one another
A young boy of Sixteen . . . .. with wings on his feet
Dreaming that soon now . . .. . . a lover he'll meet.
A groom soon at Twenty . . . ..my heart gives a leap.
Remembering, the vows .. .. .that I promised to keep.
At Twenty-Five, now . . . . .I have young of my own.
Who need me to guide . . . And a secure happy home.
A man of Thirty . .. . . . . My young now grown fast,
Bound to each other . . .. With ties that should last.
At Forty, my young sons .. .have grown and are gone,
But my woman is beside me . . to see I don't mourn.
At Fifty, once more, .. ...Babies play 'round my knee,
Again, we know children . . . . My loved one and me.
Dark days are upon me . . . . My wife is now dead.
I look at the future ... . . . . I shudder with dread.
For my young are all rearing .. . . young of their own.
And I think of the years . . . And the love that I've known.
I'm now an old man . . . . . . .. and nature is cruel.
It's jest to make old age . . . . . . . look like a fool.
The body, it crumbles .. .. . grace and vigor, depart.
There is now a stone . . . where I once had a heart.
But inside this old carcass . A young man still dwells,
And now and again . . . . . my battered heart swells
I remember the joys . . . . .. . I remember the pain.
And I'm loving and living . . . . . . . life over again.
I think of the years, all too few . . .. gone too fast.
And accept the stark fact . . . that nothing can last.
So open your eyes, people .. . . . .. . . open and see.
Not a cranky old man .
Look closer . . . . see .. .. . .. .... . ME!!

Remember this poem when you next meet an older person who you might brush aside without looking at the young soul within. We will all, one day, be there, too!

485

The Coffee Shop / Re: Lots Going On...

« on: December 04, 2012, 08:25:58 pm »

Hey Gabby,

I plan to stay in the Northern KY area because of my wife's job. I wish she could support me and my habits then I would be done with work, but life isn't always that easy. Or maybe I just married the wrong lady. I'm done with the airline industry (of course I said that once before). I was an instructor and a tech writer and plan to pursue one of those lines of work. Of course, that could all change if I can find someone to buy some of my scroll work for, say, $500K.

Thanks everyone for lending an ear. I'm usually not this talkative, but is sure feels good.

486

The Coffee Shop / Re: BEWARE of this SCAM

« on: December 03, 2012, 09:59:19 pm »

I told my wife I had to go Christmas shopping today. I went to 4 department stores, the mall, and a few strip malls (perfect place for them to hang out (pun intended)). So far no scam. I will be out shopping again tomorrow.

487

The Coffee Shop / Lots Going On...

« on: December 03, 2012, 08:11:16 pm »

...but I did get my Christmas ornament for the exchange mailed off. 

Nov. 30 was my last day of work. I worked for Comair Airlines for the past 6+ years and they have closed their doors. I'm glad to have December off, but I'm sure come February the wife will be tired of me sitting around in my underwear watching Oprah.    Well, I really hope to find employment by then.

Since our kids are all moved out, we put our house on the market. Well, go figure, we accepted an offer but they want us out by the end of December. So much for taking December off. I really wanted to do a lot of scrolling.  Looks like I'll be jobless and homeless. 

On top of that, I was selected for jury duty and have to show up tomorrow!  Well, they let people off duty that have vacations, so hopefully they will let me go also.

At least my son plans to come home mid December. I plan to put him to work packing and moving. This will be a Christmas to remember.

488

The Coffee Shop / Re: Does anyone mill their own wood?

« on: December 03, 2012, 06:33:05 pm »

That's pretty cool. Does look like a lot of work. What is the thinnest you've cut?

489

The Coffee Shop / Re: WOW I hit the jackpot

« on: December 03, 2012, 06:26:10 pm »

Wow! Pete did a great job on those. And your poem/story was great also.

490

General Scroll Saw Talk / Re: letter openers

« on: December 03, 2012, 06:22:35 pm »

I think 1/2" is way too thick. I'd use 1/8" if possible. I made some that were just over 1/8" (which seemed a little thick) and just put them to the belt sander to sharpen. If I make any more, I may try making the blade from 1/16" and laminating contrasting wood for the handle.

491

The Coffee Shop / Re: Santa is a myth - Proof at last!!!! Sorry Kids

« on: November 28, 2012, 09:03:49 pm »

What! Say it isn't so?

492

Brag Forum / Re: Candle Holder

« on: November 24, 2012, 09:35:24 pm »

That's a very nice idea but, I've been staring at this for 10 minutes and can't figure out how you made the little corner thingies to hold the insert. Please explain?
Thanks, Pete

Pete, it's a secret. Well, not really. Here's a drawing of one side looking down from the top. After I glued the corner pieces on I cut a 45 degree miter. They aren't perfect, but it's just a prototype.

493

Brag Forum / Candle Holder

« on: November 24, 2012, 08:23:08 pm »

I really like Steve Good's candle holder but wanted to make it more universal. Here's what I came up with. It's made of walnut with plywood inserts. The inserts can be removed and replaced with other inserts. This way, you can create inserts for any season and use the same candle holder. You can even make a panel with a name or two and give it as a gift.

I still have to finish it. I will probably add feet and a lid to complete it. I'm also thinking of adding translucent paper to the inserts to diffuse the light and give it a more finished look. Any opinions?

Thanks for looking. Any comments or recommendations are appreciated. (Sorry for the low quality pictures.)

494

The Coffee Shop / Re: Happy Thanksgiving!

« on: November 22, 2012, 08:24:09 am »

I'll join in and say Happy Thanksgiving to everyone.

495

Brag Forum / Re: Portraits of my TWO Moms.... :+}

« on: November 22, 2012, 08:23:00 am »

Sorry to hear of your loss, but the portraits came out great.