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Messages - Keefie

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2176
The Coffee Shop / The Fairy & The Immigrant
« on: December 22, 2012, 08:18:37 am »

A  beautiful fairy appeared one day to an immigrant claimant
outside the Social Security Offices.


'My good man,' the fairy said,
'I've been told to grant you three wishes,
since you?ve just arrived in England with your wife and seven children.'

The man told the fairy:
'Well, where I come from we don't have good teeth, so I want new teeth, maybe with a lot of gold in them.'
The fairy looked at the man's almost toothless grin and  -- PING !!!
He had a brand new shining set of gold teeth in his mouth!

'What else?' asked the fairy, 'two more wishes to go'.
The refugee claimant now got bolder.
'I need a big house with a three car garage in Birmingham with eight bedrooms for my family
and the rest of my refugee relatives who still live in my country.
I want to bring them all over here.
PING ! - In the distance there could be seen a beautiful mansion with a three car garage,
a long driveway, a walkout patio with a BBQ, and a sparkling swimming pool and a BMW,
full of his nephews playing their music.

'One more wish left for you', said the fairy, waving her wand.

  I want to be English with English clothes instead of rags, and shawl 
and I want to have white skin like the English.'

PING ! -  The man was transformed, wearing worn out jeans from ASDA,
a dirty Primark T-shirt and a greasy baseball cap. 
He had his bad teeth back and the mansion had disappeared from the horizon.
'What happened to my new teeth?' he wailed. 
'Where is my new house? Where?s my Visa Gold Card?'

The fairy said

'Tough luck. Now that you are English,
you're entitled to sweet f...  all - just like the rest of  us.

 
And she disappeared

2177
Brag Forum / Re: First big scroll
« on: December 22, 2012, 07:17:46 am »
That's a beautiful cross and nicely cut too.

2178
Brag Forum / Re: High Rider
« on: December 22, 2012, 07:14:21 am »
Thats a beauty Tommy. I had a ride on one of those when I had 2 good legs, they easy to get on and start riding, I never did master the dismount  ::) usually it was the fall off  :D :D :D

2179
Brag Forum / Re: Boxes / confectioners / Souvenirs
« on: December 22, 2012, 07:11:05 am »
Hey Frank, those are just gorgeous little boxes. thanks for sharing.

2180
Pattern Requests. / Re: Merry Christmas
« on: December 22, 2012, 07:09:23 am »
Merry Christmas to you and your family Wade.

2181
Brag Forum / Re: Dome Clock
« on: December 22, 2012, 07:07:20 am »
That is absolutely amazing, it must have taken weeks to make?

2182
Introduce Yourself. / Re: Another returning member
« on: December 22, 2012, 07:05:00 am »
Welcome back Cathy, I'm Keith from Cornwall U.K.

2183
Introduce Yourself. / Re: Puzzleman here
« on: December 22, 2012, 07:04:02 am »
Hi Brian, welcome to the forum, I'm Keith from Cornwall U.K. I looked at your site, you have a lot of impressive puzzles there, to make them free standing I assume you make them from 3/4" stock?

2184
Introduce Yourself. / Re: Hello from Oklahoma
« on: December 22, 2012, 07:00:06 am »
Hi Dirtrider, welcome to the forum, I'm Keith from Cornwall U.K.

2185
Introduce Yourself. / Re: Hi From Indiana
« on: December 22, 2012, 06:58:27 am »
Hi Quad, I'm Keith from Cornwall U.K. welcome to the forum.
I admire your courage too, it can't be easy to live a normal life with such disabilities, It's great to see you haven't given up and have taken up a hobby to keep yourself active. As Rob said there is no such thing as a stupid question just the un-asked ones. The members here are like a second family, and have helped me and countless others with our little (and big) problems and to the best of my knowledge (which isn't a lot lol) they haven't failed to answer/resolve any problems posted. I look forward to seeing some of your work.

2186
Introduce Yourself. / Re: Hi from California
« on: December 22, 2012, 06:47:23 am »
Hi Papafrankc,I'm Keith from Cornwall U.K. Welcome to the forum.
 I would like to say that you have done a great job with the catalogue, and like the others I think it works just fine. Thank you for all the effort you have put into it to get it to work as good as it does.

2187
Pattern Requests. / Re: Request pattern help
« on: December 21, 2012, 05:13:35 pm »
fantastic patterns  Don

2188
Brag Forum / Re: Finished Jesus Portrait
« on: December 21, 2012, 05:12:43 pm »
great work, your dad will love it.

2189
Brag Forum / Re: Just using Left Over Wood.... :+}
« on: December 21, 2012, 03:25:15 pm »
Hi danny, I cut one of those a few months back, but yours turned out much better than my attempt. very nice use of spare wood, and very nice cutting.

2190
General Scroll Saw Talk / Re: Check out this Clock Tower
« on: December 21, 2012, 02:58:50 pm »
That is just AWESOME, there is no other word for it. thanks for sharing it with us.

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