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Topics - GrayBeard

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991
This qualifies in the, "Are you sh*%&$# me?" category!!!
This woman is out shopping -  in public -  with no shirt on.
She has her boobs tucked into her pants.
INTO HER PANTS!!!
I understand that gravity was hard on her but??
SERIOUSLY   ???!!?!?!?!?

992
Pattern Requests. / Something I saw....
« on: March 29, 2011, 05:46:07 pm »
in an electronics accessories catalog that I thought would make an interesting project, be inexpensive and easy to make and be a hit with our friends who always have those damnable 'ear buds' stuck in their heads!

Have fun with it gang....

~~~GrayBeard~~~

993
The Coffee Shop / EASTER.....and blondes!
« on: March 29, 2011, 11:43:02 am »
Blondes Explaining Easter
 
Three blondes wre killed in an auto accident and found themselves standing before St. Peter.  He told them that before they could enter the Kingdom,
they had to tell him what Easter represented.

The first blonde, an American, said "Easter is a holiday where they have a big feast and we give thanks and eat turkey."
 
St. Peter said, "Noooooo," and wouldn't let her in.

The second blonde, a Brit, said "Easter is when we celebrate Jesus's birth and exchange gifts."
 
St. Peter said, "Noooooo," and he wouldn't let her in either.

The third blonde, a Canadian, said she knew what Easter was, and St.Peter said, "So, tell me."
 
She said, "Easter is a Christian holiday that coincides with the Jewish festival of Passover.  Jesus was having Passover feast with his disciples when he was betrayed by Judas, and the Romans arrested him.
The Romans hung him on the cross and eventually he died.
Then they buried him in a tomb behind a very large boulder ... "
 
St. Peter said, "Verrrrrry good."

Then the blonde continued, "Now, every year the Jews roll away the boulder and Jesus comes out.
If he sees his shadow, we have six more weeks of hockey."

St. Peter fainted.

~~~GrayBeard~~~

994
The Coffee Shop / Two Irish Women.....
« on: March 25, 2011, 12:03:44 pm »
Two women are sitting  next to each other at a bar. One looks at the other and says, "I can't help
but think from listening to you that you're from  Ireland ."

 

The other woman responds proudly, 'Yes, I sure am!'

 

The first one says, 'So am I! And where about in Ireland are ya from?"

The other woman answers, 'I'm from St. John's , I am.'

 

The first one responds, 'So, am I!! And what street did you live on?'

 

The other woman says, 'A lovely little area it was in the west end. I lived on Warbury Street in the old central part of town.'

 

The first one says, 'Faith and it's a small world! So did I!  So did I! And what school did ya go to?'

The other woman answers, 'Well now, I went to Holy Heart of Mary, of course.'

The first one gets really excited and says, 'And so did I! Tell me,what year did you graduate?'

The other woman answers, 'Well, now, let's see. I graduated in 1964.'

The first woman exclaims, 'The Good Lord must be smiling down upon us! I can hardly believe our good luck at winding up in the same pub tonight. Can you believe it, I graduated from Holy Heart of Mary in
1964 me self."

 

About this time, Michael walks into the bar, sits down and orders a beer. Brian, the bartender, walks over to
Michael, shaking his head and mutters, 'It's going to be a long night tonight.'

Michael asks, ' Why do you say that, Brian?'

/

/

/

/

 



Brian answers, 'The Murphy twins are drunk again.'

~~~GB~~~

995
The Coffee Shop / "POOF" ...the light goes on!
« on: March 25, 2011, 11:59:25 am »
An 86-year-old man goes for a physical.

All of his test results come back normal. 





The doctor says, " John everything looks great. How are you doing

mentally and emotionally?  Are you at peace with God?"



John  replies, "God and I are tight. 


He knows I have poor eyesight, so he's fixed it so when I get up in the

middle of the night to go to the bathroom, *poof* the light goes on.

When I'm done, *poof* the light goes off."



"Wow, that's incredible," the doctor says.



A little later in the day, the doctor calls  John's wife.


"Marianne, he says, John is doing fine but I had to call you because

I'm in awe of his relationship with God.  Is it true that he gets up

during the night and *poof * the light goes on in the bathroom, and when

he's done, *poof* the light goes off?"



"OH MY GOD!" Marianne exclaims. 


"He's peeing in the refrigerator again!!!!"

Ever happen in your house?

~~~GB~~~

996
The Coffee Shop / SO!...you think YOU can ride a bike!
« on: March 25, 2011, 11:55:51 am »
Two fantastic young ladies from Germany!

http://wimp.com/bicycleskill/

Enjoy!

~~~GB~~~

997
General Scroll Saw Talk / Blades....
« on: March 24, 2011, 01:57:17 pm »
We all have our own idea of what the 'best' blade is for a particular project on the scrollsaw.

Now I am asking what those of you who use as your blade of choice on your TABLE SAW when cutting your various woods to size for your projects.

I have a low end Skil table saw because I could not justify the cost of anything more 'exotic' for the few things I need it for.

~~~GrayBeard~~~

998
The Coffee Shop / It all depends on the 'angle'! - 1
« on: March 24, 2011, 12:32:26 pm »
Murder in the grass!

999
The Coffee Shop / Pastors with a sense of Humor...#4
« on: March 24, 2011, 12:27:57 pm »
Free Coffee!

1000
The Coffee Shop / Pastors with a sense of Humor #3....
« on: March 24, 2011, 12:21:47 pm »
IT professional, BEWARE!

1001
The Coffee Shop / Pastors with a sense of Humor...#2
« on: March 24, 2011, 12:19:25 pm »
2nd in the series...


1002
The Coffee Shop / Pastors with a sense of Humor!
« on: March 24, 2011, 12:16:30 pm »
First of the series....

1003
The Coffee Shop / Noah has a problem!
« on: March 24, 2011, 12:12:52 pm »
"Lord, I think the Woodpecker HAS to go!"

1004
The Coffee Shop / Government Health Warning!
« on: March 21, 2011, 02:47:04 pm »
DO NOT under any circumstances SWALLOW Bubble Gum!

You Have Been Warned!


1005
The Coffee Shop / Garfield on the Oil Crisis!
« on: March 20, 2011, 10:35:37 pm »








YOU GOTTA LOVE GARFIELD'S EXPLANATION -- TOO CUTE & ALSO TRUE!!!

 

 

 

 

GARFIELD ON THE OIL  CRISIS




A lot of  folks can't understand how we came   to  have an oil shortage here in our  country.
~~~
Well, there's a very simple  answer.
~~~
Nobody bothered to check the oil.
~~~
We  just didn't know we were getting low.
~~~
The reason for that  is purely geographical.
~~~
Our OIL is located  in:
~~~
ALASKA
~~~
California
~~~
Coastal   Florida
~~~
Coastal Louisiana
~~~
Coastal Alabama
~~~~
Coastal Mississippi
~~~~
Coastal Texas
~~~
North  Dakota
~~~
Wyoming
~~~
Colorado
~~~
Kansas
~~~
Oklahoma
~~~
Pennsylvania
~~~
 And
~~~
Texas
~~~
Our dipsticks are located  in DC
~~~
Any Questions?  NO? Didn't think So.

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