Topics

76

The Coffee Shop / My eyes

« on: August 12, 2013, 09:11:49 pm »

There is something wrong with my eyes. Just have a look!

https://www.facebook.com/photo.php?v=10151303876267352&set=vb.516322371757887&type=2&theater

77

The Coffee Shop / My web site

« on: August 10, 2013, 07:51:32 pm »

I have been working on this for some time now. Still not what I want it to be but it's a start. Let my know what you think, constructive criticism will be greatly appreciated. Thanks.

  http.www.clydescrafts.weebly.com.

Not sure how to create the link, but you can cut and paste into your browser. Maybe Dustin you can help me out.

78

General Scroll Saw Talk / Thanks mike

« on: August 04, 2013, 09:31:25 pm »

I placed an order for Scrollsaw blades on July 21. He shipped them on July 22. They had to go through customs, I received them on July 30th. Now that is service. I have waited as much as 6-8 weeks for orders placed with companies in the USA to come to Canada. Rockier is by far the worst. Thanks Mike. You must have contacts at Canada customs after all.

79

The Coffee Shop / Doctors retirement.

« on: August 02, 2013, 08:43:35 pm »

This is a true story for those who really wonder, "did this really happen"
A very well known local doctor retired and the event was marked with a banquet in his honor. During the dinner his daughter, who is also an accomplished doctor stood and after she had the attention of the whole place asked her father," Dad, throughout your career did you ever examine a rectum and fine absolutely no tumours, or cysts or other conditions." Her father responded by saying, " yes, they are few and far between but every now and then you will come across a perfect ...........a**hole". I had to share the thought.

80

Brag Forum / And one more

« on: July 21, 2013, 07:44:55 pm »

This is a pattern by Ray, aka EIEIO, She truly was surprised by the gift. Thank again Ray.

81

Brag Forum / Two more

« on: July 21, 2013, 07:39:59 pm »

These are by Sheila Landry, Thanks Sheila

82

Brag Forum / A few new pieces

« on: July 21, 2013, 07:38:36 pm »

Here are two of Steve's patterns I cut last week. Thanks Steve

83

The Coffee Shop / Square, method of doing transactions

« on: July 18, 2013, 11:37:18 am »

Does anyone use this device. What are the costs and what type of bank acct do you need to set up. I ordered one it was "free". But don't know diddly squat about it or the hidden things like security and stuff. Any info will be good. Thanks.

84

The Coffee Shop / Another craft fair

« on: July 15, 2013, 08:27:28 pm »

Well I am going to try it again. This is a different sort of venue. I will be the only woodworker there. It is well promoted and organized so we will see how it goes on Sat July 20. You can google Some Good Market and see more.

85

The Coffee Shop / When you are over 60ty

« on: July 10, 2013, 08:36:14 pm »

When you are over sixty who gives a $&#%?

This asshole looked at my beer belly last night and sarcastically said, "Is that Corona or Bud?"
I said, "There's a tap underneath; taste it and find out."

***********
I was talking to a girl in the bar last night. She said, "If you lost a few pounds, had a shave and got your hair cut, you'd look all right."
I said, "If I did all that, I'd be talking to your friends over there instead of you."

***********
I was telling a girl in the pub about my ability to guess what day a woman was born just by feeling her boobs.
"Really" she said, "Go on then...try."
After about thirty seconds of fondling she began to lose patience and said. "Come on, what day was I born"?
I said, "Yesterday."

***********
I got caught taking a pee in the local swimming pool today.
The lifeguard shouted at me so loud, I nearly fell in.

***********
I went to the pub last night and saw a fat chick dancing on a table.
I said, "Nice legs."
The girl giggled and said with a smile, "Do you really think so."
I said "Definitely! Most tables would have collapsed by now. "

86

The Coffee Shop / Thought you could use a laugh.

« on: July 02, 2013, 03:12:52 pm »

Five surgeons from big cities are discussing who makes the best patients to operate on.


 
 The first surgeon, from Toronto , says, I like to see accountants on my operating table because when you open them up, everything inside is numbered.

 The second, from Vancouver , responds, Yeah, but you should try electricians! Everything inside them is color coded.

 The third surgeon, from Montreal , says, No, I really think librarians are the best, everything inside them is in alphabetical order.

 The fourth surgeon, from Calgary , chimes in, You know, I like construction workers.Those guys always understand when you have a few parts left over.

 But the fifth surgeon, from Ottawa , shut them all up when he observed, You're all wrong. Politicians are the easiest to operate on. There's no guts, no heart, no brains, and no spine. Plus, the head and the arse are interchangeable.

87

The Coffee Shop / At the beach

« on: June 25, 2013, 06:54:30 pm »

Says a lot!

88

The Coffee Shop / Retirement job.

« on: June 25, 2013, 12:45:09 pm »

Someone asked me, Now that you're retired, "do you have another job?"
 I replied, ?Yes I am my wife's sexual advisor."
 Somewhat shocked, they said "I beg your pardon, but what do you mean by that?"
 "Very simple. The wife has told me that when she wants my ___ advice, she'll ask me for it."

89

The Coffee Shop / Lay down your coffee before you read

« on: June 25, 2013, 12:32:34 pm »

Curtis & Leroy saw an ad in the Kentville Advertiser Newspaper in Kentville , N.S. and bought a mule for $100.The farmer agreed to deliver the mule the next day.The following morning the farmer drove up, and said: "Sorry, fellers, I have some bad news for you, the mule died last night."
 Curtis & Leroy replied; "Well then, just give us our money back."
 The farmer said; " Can't do that...I went and spent it already."
 They said; "Okay then, just bring us the dead mule."
 The farmer asked; "What in the world ya'll gonna do with a dead mule?" Curtis said; "We gonn'a raffle him off."
 The farmer said; "You can't raffle off a dead mule!"
 Leroy said; "We shore can! Heck, we don't hafta tell nobody he's dead!"

 A couple of weeks later, the farmer ran into Curtis & Leroy at the Co-Op grocery store and asked: "Say...what'd you fellers ever do with that dead mule?"Curtis, said; "We raffled him off like we said we wuz gonn'a do."
 Leroy added; "Shucks, we sold 500 tickets fer two dollars a piece and made a profit of $898."
 The farmer said; "My Lord, didn't anyone complain...?"
 Curtis said; "Well, the feller who won was really upset. So we gave him his two dollars back."

 Curtis and Leroy now work for the government.
 They're overseeing Harper's investigation of the Senate and the spending scandal.

90

The Coffee Shop / A story about Jimmy

« on: June 19, 2013, 05:17:52 pm »

A wife treats hubby by taking him to a Strip Club for his birthday...At The Club, The Doorman Says, "Hi Jim, How are You?"
 The wife asks, "How does he know you?
 Jim says, "Oh dear, I play football with him."
 Inside the Bartender Says, "The Usual, Jim?"
 Jim says to Wife, "Before you say anything, He's on the Darts Team."
 Next a stripper Says, "Hi Jim! Do You Crave the Special Again??"
 The Wife storms out dragging Jim with her & jumps into a taxi...
 The Taxi driver Says, "Hey Jimmy Boy! You picked up an ugly one this time...."
Jimmy's funeral will be Friday.