661
The Coffee Shop / Christmas Lighting.....
« on: November 21, 2011, 05:28:02 pm »
Do it the EASY way!
News: Had a couple issues with the forum today. 1/19/2017. I believe I have them corrected now. Let me know if you have any trouble. Thanks.
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662
Pattern Requests. / Anybody remember....
« on: November 21, 2011, 04:47:24 pm »
a pattern titled "Crown of Thorns"?
Where can i find it to do for a Christmas gift?
~~~GB~~~
Where can i find it to do for a Christmas gift?
~~~GB~~~
663
The Coffee Shop / Open letter to our Thanksgiving 'invitees'!
« on: November 21, 2011, 04:45:10 pm »
Dear potential Thanksgiving guests.....
Just a note to let you know we are hoping to see you Thanksgiving Day.
But ... Martha Stewart will not be dining with us this Thanksgiving. I?m telling you in advance, so don?t act surprised.
Since Ms. Stewart won?t be coming, I?ve made a few small changes:
Our sidewalk will not be lined with homemade, paper bag luminaries. After a trial run, it was decided that no matter how cleverly done, rows of flaming lunch sacks do not have the desired welcoming effect. Once inside, our guests will note that the entry hall is not decorated with the swags of Indian corn and fall foliage I had planned to make. Instead, I?ve gotten the kids involved in the decorating by having them track in colorful autumn leaves from the front yard. The mud was their idea.
The dining table will not be covered with expensive linens, fancy china, or crystal goblets. If possible, we will use dishes that match and everyone will get a fork. Since this IS Thanksgiving, we will refrain from using the plastic Peter Rabbit plate and the Santa napkins from last Christmas.
Our centerpiece will not be the tower of fresh fruit and flowers that I promised. Instead we will be displaying a hedgehog-like decoration hand-crafted from the finest construction paper. The artist assures me it is a turkey.
We will be dining fashionably late. The children will entertain you while you wait. I?m sure they will be happy to share every choice comment I have made regarding Thanksgiving, pilgrims and the turkey hotline. Please remember that most of these comments were made at 5:00 a.m. upon discovering that the turkey was still hard enough to cut diamonds. As accompaniment to the children?s recital, I will play a recording of tribal drumming. If the children should mention that I don?t own a recording of tribal drumming, or that tribal drumming sounds suspiciously like a frozen turkey in a clothes dryer, ignore them. They are lying.
We toyed with the idea of ringing a dainty silver bell to announce the start of our feast. In the end, we chose to keep our traditional method. We?ve also decided against a formal seating arrangement. When the smoke alarm sounds, please gather around the table and sit where you like. In the spirit of harmony, we will ask the children to sit at a separate table. In a separate room. Next door.
Now, I know you have all seen pictures of one person carving a turkey in front of a crowd of appreciative onlookers. This will not be happening at our dinner. For safety reasons, the turkey will be carved in a private ceremony. I stress ?private? meaning: Do not, under any circumstances, enter the kitchen to laugh at me. Do not send small, unsuspecting children to check on my progress. I have an electric knife. The turkey is unarmed. It stands to reason that I will eventually win. When I do, we will eat.
I would like to take this opportunity to remind my young diners that ?passing the rolls? is not a football play. Nor is it a request to bean your sister in the head with warm tasty bread.
Oh, and one reminder for the adults: For the duration of the meal, and especially while in the presence of young diners, we will refer to the giblet gravy by its lesser-known name: Cheese Sauce. If a young diner questions you regarding the origins or type of Cheese Sauce, plead ignorance. Cheese Sauce stains.
Before I forget, there is one last change. Instead of offering a choice between 12 different scrumptious desserts, we will be serving the traditional pumpkin pie, garnished with whipped cream and small fingerprints. You will still have a choice; take it or leave it.
I hope you aren?t too disappointed that Martha Stewart will not be dining with us this Thanksgiving. She probably won?t come next year either.
Just a note to let you know we are hoping to see you Thanksgiving Day.
But ... Martha Stewart will not be dining with us this Thanksgiving. I?m telling you in advance, so don?t act surprised.
Since Ms. Stewart won?t be coming, I?ve made a few small changes:
Our sidewalk will not be lined with homemade, paper bag luminaries. After a trial run, it was decided that no matter how cleverly done, rows of flaming lunch sacks do not have the desired welcoming effect. Once inside, our guests will note that the entry hall is not decorated with the swags of Indian corn and fall foliage I had planned to make. Instead, I?ve gotten the kids involved in the decorating by having them track in colorful autumn leaves from the front yard. The mud was their idea.
The dining table will not be covered with expensive linens, fancy china, or crystal goblets. If possible, we will use dishes that match and everyone will get a fork. Since this IS Thanksgiving, we will refrain from using the plastic Peter Rabbit plate and the Santa napkins from last Christmas.
Our centerpiece will not be the tower of fresh fruit and flowers that I promised. Instead we will be displaying a hedgehog-like decoration hand-crafted from the finest construction paper. The artist assures me it is a turkey.
We will be dining fashionably late. The children will entertain you while you wait. I?m sure they will be happy to share every choice comment I have made regarding Thanksgiving, pilgrims and the turkey hotline. Please remember that most of these comments were made at 5:00 a.m. upon discovering that the turkey was still hard enough to cut diamonds. As accompaniment to the children?s recital, I will play a recording of tribal drumming. If the children should mention that I don?t own a recording of tribal drumming, or that tribal drumming sounds suspiciously like a frozen turkey in a clothes dryer, ignore them. They are lying.
We toyed with the idea of ringing a dainty silver bell to announce the start of our feast. In the end, we chose to keep our traditional method. We?ve also decided against a formal seating arrangement. When the smoke alarm sounds, please gather around the table and sit where you like. In the spirit of harmony, we will ask the children to sit at a separate table. In a separate room. Next door.
Now, I know you have all seen pictures of one person carving a turkey in front of a crowd of appreciative onlookers. This will not be happening at our dinner. For safety reasons, the turkey will be carved in a private ceremony. I stress ?private? meaning: Do not, under any circumstances, enter the kitchen to laugh at me. Do not send small, unsuspecting children to check on my progress. I have an electric knife. The turkey is unarmed. It stands to reason that I will eventually win. When I do, we will eat.
I would like to take this opportunity to remind my young diners that ?passing the rolls? is not a football play. Nor is it a request to bean your sister in the head with warm tasty bread.
Oh, and one reminder for the adults: For the duration of the meal, and especially while in the presence of young diners, we will refer to the giblet gravy by its lesser-known name: Cheese Sauce. If a young diner questions you regarding the origins or type of Cheese Sauce, plead ignorance. Cheese Sauce stains.
Before I forget, there is one last change. Instead of offering a choice between 12 different scrumptious desserts, we will be serving the traditional pumpkin pie, garnished with whipped cream and small fingerprints. You will still have a choice; take it or leave it.
I hope you aren?t too disappointed that Martha Stewart will not be dining with us this Thanksgiving. She probably won?t come next year either.
664
The Coffee Shop / Frozen Crabs and the Blonde Flight Attendant....
« on: November 19, 2011, 12:41:57 am »
A lawyer boarded an airplane in New Orleans with a box of frozen crabs and asked a blonde flight attendant to take care of them for him.
She took the box and promised to put it in the crew's refrigerator for safe keeping
He advised her that he was holding her personally responsible for them staying frozen, mentioning in a very haughty manner that he was a lawyer,
and proceeded to rant at her about what would happen if she let them thaw out. Needless to say, she was annoyed by his behavior.
Shortly before landing in New York , she used the intercom to announce to the entire cabin,
"Would the lawyer who gave me the crabs in New Orleans please raise your hand?"
Not one hand went up, so she took them home and ate them.
Two lessons here:
1. Many lawyers aren't as smart as they think they are.
2. Many blonds aren't as dumb as most folks think.
She took the box and promised to put it in the crew's refrigerator for safe keeping
He advised her that he was holding her personally responsible for them staying frozen, mentioning in a very haughty manner that he was a lawyer,
and proceeded to rant at her about what would happen if she let them thaw out. Needless to say, she was annoyed by his behavior.
Shortly before landing in New York , she used the intercom to announce to the entire cabin,
"Would the lawyer who gave me the crabs in New Orleans please raise your hand?"
Not one hand went up, so she took them home and ate them.
Two lessons here:
1. Many lawyers aren't as smart as they think they are.
2. Many blonds aren't as dumb as most folks think.
665
The Coffee Shop / WARNING!!!
« on: November 16, 2011, 10:33:03 am »
In the past 48 hours I have had a massive increase in my Spam/Junk mail folders and most of them are PHONY messages with FACEBOOK in the subject line!
To you folks who are not really computer savy I would suggest that you DO NOT open any messages of this type!
"SAFE Computing" is the only way to avoid being attacked by Trojans, Vrruses, Worms, RootBots, etc.
"Let's be careful out there!"
~~~GB~~~
To you folks who are not really computer savy I would suggest that you DO NOT open any messages of this type!
"SAFE Computing" is the only way to avoid being attacked by Trojans, Vrruses, Worms, RootBots, etc.
"Let's be careful out there!"
~~~GB~~~
666
The Coffee Shop / The "Kitten" saga....
« on: November 16, 2011, 10:24:01 am »
So far so good....both are seemingly healthy and active! Boy are they active. Two kittens the same age and from different litters but they are having a blast with each other and often driving me nutz!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
While going through all this we have changed vets so we don't have to travel so far.
When sister was there over the weekend she was telling them about some of the portraits I have done of cats and kittens...
They want me to bring some samples to display and they will sell on a consignment basis.
That leads me to thinking about doing 'custom' portraits of their patients...
Would any of you 'Pattern Pros' be interested in working with me to make the patterns if I supply the photos?
If you are interested send me a PM and we can work out the details.
~~~GB~~~
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
While going through all this we have changed vets so we don't have to travel so far.
When sister was there over the weekend she was telling them about some of the portraits I have done of cats and kittens...
They want me to bring some samples to display and they will sell on a consignment basis.
That leads me to thinking about doing 'custom' portraits of their patients...
Would any of you 'Pattern Pros' be interested in working with me to make the patterns if I supply the photos?
If you are interested send me a PM and we can work out the details.
~~~GB~~~
667
The Coffee Shop / We would like to know....
« on: November 15, 2011, 10:54:00 am »
C'mon guys...where are they?
668
The Coffee Shop / Too Busy for a FRIEND?
« on: November 14, 2011, 11:04:00 pm »
Too Busy for a Friend?
*One day a teacher asked her students to list the names*
*of the other students in the room on two sheets*
*of paper, leaving a space between each name.*
*Then she told them to think of the nicest thing they could say *
*about each of their classmates and write it down.*
*It took the remainder of the class period to finish their *
*assignment, and as the students left the room, each*
*one handed in the papers.*
*Saturday, the teacher wrote down the name of each student on a separate sheet of paper, and listed what everyone else had said about that individual.*
*On Monday she gave each student his or her list. Before long, the entire class was smiling. 'Really?' she heard whispered. 'I never knew that I meant anything to anyone!' and, 'I didn't know others liked me so much,' were most of the comments.*
* No one ever mentioned those papers in class again. She never knew if they discussed them after class or with *
*their parents, but it didn't matter. The exercise *
*had accomplished its purpose. The students *
*were happy with themselves and one *
*another. That group of *
*students moved on.*
* Several years later, one of the students was killed in *
*Vietnam and his teacher attended the funeral *
*of that special student. She had never seen*
*a serviceman in a military coffin before.*
*He looked so handsome, so mature.*
*The church was packed with his friends. One by *
*one those who loved him took a last walk *
*by the coffin. The teacher was the*
*last one to bless the coffin.*
*As she stood there, one of the soldiers who acted as pallbearer *
*came up to her. 'Were you Mark's math teacher?' he *
*asked. She nodded: 'yes.' Then he said: *
*'Mark talked about you a lot.'*
*After the funeral, most of Mark's former classmates went *
*together to a luncheon. Mark's mother and father *
*were there, obviously waiting to *
*speak with his teacher.*
*'We want to show you something,' his father said, taking a *
*wallet out of his pocket 'They found this on Mark *
*when he was killed. We thought you *
*might recognize it.'*
Opening the billfold, he carefully removed two worn pieces *
*of notebook paper that had obviously been taped, *
*folded and refolded many times. The teacher*
*knew without looking that the papers *
*were the ones on which she had *
*listed all the good things each*
*of Mark's classmates*
*had said about him.*
*'Thank you so much for doing that,' Mark's mother said. *
*'As you can see, Mark treasured it.'*
*All of Mark's former classmates started to gather around. *
*Charlie smiled rather sheepishly and said, 'I still*
*have my list. It's in the top drawer of *
*my desk at home.'*
*Chuck's wife said, 'Chuck asked me to *
*put his in our wedding album.'*
* 'I have mine too,' Marilyn said. *
*'It's in my diary'*
*Then Vicki, another classmate, reached into her pocketbook, took*
*out her wallet and showed her worn and frazzled list to*
*the group. 'I carry this with me at all times,' Vicki *
*said and without batting an eyelash,*
*she continued: 'I think we all*
*saved our lists'*
*That's when the teacher finally sat down and cried.*
*She cried for Mark and for all his friends who*
*would never see him again.*
*The density of people in society is so thick *
*that we forget that life will end one *
*day. And we don't know when*
*that one day will be.*
*So please, tell the people you love and care for, that they are*
*special and important. Tell them, before it is too late.*
*And One Way* *To Accomplish This Is: Forward this message on. *
*If you do not send it, you will have, once again passed up the *
*wonderful opportunity to do something *
*nice and beautiful.*
*Remember, you reap what you sow. What you put into*
*the lives of others comes back into your own.*
*May Your Day Be Blessed As Special As You Are*
*One day a teacher asked her students to list the names*
*of the other students in the room on two sheets*
*of paper, leaving a space between each name.*
*Then she told them to think of the nicest thing they could say *
*about each of their classmates and write it down.*
*It took the remainder of the class period to finish their *
*assignment, and as the students left the room, each*
*one handed in the papers.*
*Saturday, the teacher wrote down the name of each student on a separate sheet of paper, and listed what everyone else had said about that individual.*
*On Monday she gave each student his or her list. Before long, the entire class was smiling. 'Really?' she heard whispered. 'I never knew that I meant anything to anyone!' and, 'I didn't know others liked me so much,' were most of the comments.*
* No one ever mentioned those papers in class again. She never knew if they discussed them after class or with *
*their parents, but it didn't matter. The exercise *
*had accomplished its purpose. The students *
*were happy with themselves and one *
*another. That group of *
*students moved on.*
* Several years later, one of the students was killed in *
*Vietnam and his teacher attended the funeral *
*of that special student. She had never seen*
*a serviceman in a military coffin before.*
*He looked so handsome, so mature.*
*The church was packed with his friends. One by *
*one those who loved him took a last walk *
*by the coffin. The teacher was the*
*last one to bless the coffin.*
*As she stood there, one of the soldiers who acted as pallbearer *
*came up to her. 'Were you Mark's math teacher?' he *
*asked. She nodded: 'yes.' Then he said: *
*'Mark talked about you a lot.'*
*After the funeral, most of Mark's former classmates went *
*together to a luncheon. Mark's mother and father *
*were there, obviously waiting to *
*speak with his teacher.*
*'We want to show you something,' his father said, taking a *
*wallet out of his pocket 'They found this on Mark *
*when he was killed. We thought you *
*might recognize it.'*
Opening the billfold, he carefully removed two worn pieces *
*of notebook paper that had obviously been taped, *
*folded and refolded many times. The teacher*
*knew without looking that the papers *
*were the ones on which she had *
*listed all the good things each*
*of Mark's classmates*
*had said about him.*
*'Thank you so much for doing that,' Mark's mother said. *
*'As you can see, Mark treasured it.'*
*All of Mark's former classmates started to gather around. *
*Charlie smiled rather sheepishly and said, 'I still*
*have my list. It's in the top drawer of *
*my desk at home.'*
*Chuck's wife said, 'Chuck asked me to *
*put his in our wedding album.'*
* 'I have mine too,' Marilyn said. *
*'It's in my diary'*
*Then Vicki, another classmate, reached into her pocketbook, took*
*out her wallet and showed her worn and frazzled list to*
*the group. 'I carry this with me at all times,' Vicki *
*said and without batting an eyelash,*
*she continued: 'I think we all*
*saved our lists'*
*That's when the teacher finally sat down and cried.*
*She cried for Mark and for all his friends who*
*would never see him again.*
*The density of people in society is so thick *
*that we forget that life will end one *
*day. And we don't know when*
*that one day will be.*
*So please, tell the people you love and care for, that they are*
*special and important. Tell them, before it is too late.*
*And One Way* *To Accomplish This Is: Forward this message on. *
*If you do not send it, you will have, once again passed up the *
*wonderful opportunity to do something *
*nice and beautiful.*
*Remember, you reap what you sow. What you put into*
*the lives of others comes back into your own.*
*May Your Day Be Blessed As Special As You Are*
669
The Coffee Shop / Observationa on Growing Older!
« on: November 12, 2011, 04:49:38 pm »Observations On Growing Older
~Your Kids are becoming you...and you don't like them...but your grandchildren are Perfect!
~Going Out is good. Coming Home is better!
~You Forget names...but it's OK because other people forgot they even knew you!!!
~You realize you're never going to be really good at anything...Especially Golf.
~The things you used to care to do, you no longer care to do, but you really do care that you don't care to do them anymore.
~You sleep better on a lounge chair with the TV blaring than in bed. It's Called "pre-sleep".
~You miss the days when everything worked with just an "ON" and "OFF" Switch.
~You tend to use more 4 letter words..."what?"..."when?"
~Now that you can afford expensive jewelry, it's not safe to wear it anywhere.
~You notice everything they sell in stores is "sleeveless"?
~What used to be freckles are now liver spots.
~Everybody Whispers.
~You have 3 sizes of clothes in your closet...2 of which you will never wear.
~But Old is good in some things: Old songs, Old movies, and best of all, OLD FRIENDS!!
It's Not What You Gather, But What You Scatter That Tells What Kind Of Life You Have Lived!
670
The Coffee Shop / Making the morning coffee....
« on: November 10, 2011, 09:29:17 pm »
A man and his wife were having an argument about who should brew the coffee each morning.
The wife said, "You should do it because you get up first, and then we don't have to wait as long to get our coffee.
The husband said, "You are in charge of cooking around here and you should do it, because that is your job, and I can just wait for my coffee."
Wife replies, "No, you should do it, and besides, it is in the Bible that the man should do the coffee."
Husband replies, "I can't believe that, show me."
So she fetched the Bible, and opened the New Testament and showed him at the top of several pages, that it indeed says .......... "HEBREWS"
The wife said, "You should do it because you get up first, and then we don't have to wait as long to get our coffee.
The husband said, "You are in charge of cooking around here and you should do it, because that is your job, and I can just wait for my coffee."
Wife replies, "No, you should do it, and besides, it is in the Bible that the man should do the coffee."
Husband replies, "I can't believe that, show me."
So she fetched the Bible, and opened the New Testament and showed him at the top of several pages, that it indeed says .......... "HEBREWS"
671
The Coffee Shop / Woman's Revenge!
« on: November 10, 2011, 09:26:45 pm »
"Cash, check or charge?" I asked, after folding items the woman wished to purchase.
As she fumbled for her wallet , I noticed a remote control for a television set in her purse.
"So, do you always carry your TV remote?" I asked.
"No," she replied, "but my husband refused to come shopping with me, and I figured this was the most evil thing I could do to him legally."
As she fumbled for her wallet , I noticed a remote control for a television set in her purse.
"So, do you always carry your TV remote?" I asked.
"No," she replied, "but my husband refused to come shopping with me, and I figured this was the most evil thing I could do to him legally."
672
The Coffee Shop / A Woman's Perfect Breakfast!
« on: November 10, 2011, 09:24:49 pm »
She's sitting at the table with her gourmet coffee.
Her son is on the front of the Wheaties box.
Her daughter is on the cover of Business Week.
Her boyfriend is on the cover of Playgirl.
And her husband is on the back of the milk carton.
Her son is on the front of the Wheaties box.
Her daughter is on the cover of Business Week.
Her boyfriend is on the cover of Playgirl.
And her husband is on the back of the milk carton.
673
The Coffee Shop / Cigarettes and Tampons.......
« on: November 10, 2011, 09:22:01 pm »
CIGARETTES AND TAMPONS
A man walks into a pharmacy and wanders up & down the aisles. The sales girl notices him and asks him if she can help him. He answers that he is looking for a box of tampons for his wife. She directs him down the correct aisle. A few minutes later, he deposits a huge bag of cotton balls and a ball of string on the counter. She says, confused, "Sir, I thought you were looking for some tampons for your wife? He answers, "You see, it's like this, yesterday, I sent my wife to the store to get me a carton of cigarettes, and she came back with a tin of tobacco and some rolling papers; cause it's sooo-ooo--oo-ooo much cheaper. So, I figure if I have to roll my own . so does she.
A man walks into a pharmacy and wanders up & down the aisles. The sales girl notices him and asks him if she can help him. He answers that he is looking for a box of tampons for his wife. She directs him down the correct aisle. A few minutes later, he deposits a huge bag of cotton balls and a ball of string on the counter. She says, confused, "Sir, I thought you were looking for some tampons for your wife? He answers, "You see, it's like this, yesterday, I sent my wife to the store to get me a carton of cigarettes, and she came back with a tin of tobacco and some rolling papers; cause it's sooo-ooo--oo-ooo much cheaper. So, I figure if I have to roll my own . so does she.
674
Ask Steve a question. / Suggestion/Question....backward link?
« on: November 10, 2011, 04:21:27 pm »
It is easy to link from the BlogSpot to the FORUM.
How about a link back to the BlogSpot from the Forum?
Just thinking....
How about a link back to the BlogSpot from the Forum?
Just thinking....
675
The Coffee Shop / And here's "Dusty"
« on: November 09, 2011, 01:57:35 pm »
Sure looks like he's been sitting in the shop too long to me!
