61
The Coffee Shop / Why Men Need Supervision--A Series
« on: September 25, 2010, 12:08:21 pm »
Pic 1
News: Had a couple issues with the forum today. 1/19/2017. I believe I have them corrected now. Let me know if you have any trouble. Thanks.
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62
The Coffee Shop / Puns for Deep Thinkers--Last of This Series
« on: September 25, 2010, 09:27:31 am »
A boiled egg in the morning is hard to beat.
He had a photographic memory that was never developed.
A midget fortune-teller who escapes from prison is a small medium at large.
Once you've seen one shopping center, you've seen a mall.
Bakers trade bread recipes on a knead-to-know basis.
Santa's helpers are subordinate clauses.
Acupuncture is a jab well done.
Submitted by Chase
He had a photographic memory that was never developed.
A midget fortune-teller who escapes from prison is a small medium at large.
Once you've seen one shopping center, you've seen a mall.
Bakers trade bread recipes on a knead-to-know basis.
Santa's helpers are subordinate clauses.
Acupuncture is a jab well done.
Submitted by Chase
63
The Coffee Shop / Puns for Deep Thinkers--Friday Edition
« on: September 24, 2010, 09:50:56 am »
The man who fell into an upholstery machine is fully recovered.
You feel stuck with your debt if you can't budge it.
Local Area Network in Australia - the LAN down under.
Every calendar's days are numbered.
A lot of money is tainted - Taint yours and taint mine.
Submitted by Chase
You feel stuck with your debt if you can't budge it.
Local Area Network in Australia - the LAN down under.
Every calendar's days are numbered.
A lot of money is tainted - Taint yours and taint mine.
Submitted by Chase
64
The Coffee Shop / Puns for Deep Thinkers--Thursday Edition
« on: September 23, 2010, 09:39:35 am »
In democracy your vote counts. In feudalism your count votes.
She was engaged to a boyfriend with a wooden leg but broke it off.
A chicken crossing the road is poultry in motion.
If you don't pay your exorcist, you get repossessed
With her marriage, she got a new name and a dress.
Submitted by Chase
She was engaged to a boyfriend with a wooden leg but broke it off.
A chicken crossing the road is poultry in motion.
If you don't pay your exorcist, you get repossessed
With her marriage, she got a new name and a dress.
Submitted by Chase
65
The Coffee Shop / Puns for Deep Thinkers--Wednesday Edition
« on: September 22, 2010, 09:22:49 am »
Reading while sunbathing makes you well red.
When two egotists meet, it's an I for an I.
A bicycle can't stand on its own because it is two tired.
What's the definition of a will? (It's a dead give away.)
Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.
Submitted by Chase
When two egotists meet, it's an I for an I.
A bicycle can't stand on its own because it is two tired.
What's the definition of a will? (It's a dead give away.)
Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.
Submitted by Chase
66
The Coffee Shop / Puns for Deep Thinkers--Tuesday Edition
« on: September 21, 2010, 09:44:14 am »
A man needs a mistress just to break the monogamy.
A hangover is the wrath of grapes.
Dancing cheek-to-cheek is really a form of floor play.
Does the name Pavlov ring a bell?
Condoms should be used on every conceivable occasion.
Submitted by Chase
A hangover is the wrath of grapes.
Dancing cheek-to-cheek is really a form of floor play.
Does the name Pavlov ring a bell?
Condoms should be used on every conceivable occasion.
Submitted by Chase
67
The Coffee Shop / Puns for Deep Thinkers--Monday Edition
« on: September 20, 2010, 10:03:22 am »Those who jump off a bridge in Paris are in Seine .
A man's home is his castle, in a manor of speaking.
Dijon vu - the same mustard as before.
Practice safe eating - always use condiments.
Shotgun wedding - A case of wife or death.
Submitted by Chase
68
The Coffee Shop / Sunday's Humor
« on: September 19, 2010, 08:39:55 am »
A blonde calls Delta Airlines and asks, 'Can you tell me how long it'll
Take to fly from San Francisco to New York City ?'
The agent replies, 'Just a minute.'
'Thank you,' the blonde says, and hangs up.
Submitted by Chase
Take to fly from San Francisco to New York City ?'
The agent replies, 'Just a minute.'
'Thank you,' the blonde says, and hangs up.
Submitted by Chase
69
The Coffee Shop / Not All Seniors Are Senile................
« on: September 17, 2010, 07:35:42 pm »
This is not for the easily offended. CAUTION
An older, white haired man walked into a jewelry store this past Friday evening with a beautiful much younger gal at his side. He told the jeweler he was looking for a special ring for his girlfriend. The jeweler looked through his stock and brought out a $5,000 ring.
The old man said, 'No, I'd like to see something more special.'
At that statement, the jeweler went to his special stock and brought another ring over. 'Here's a stunning ring at only $40,000 the jeweler said. The lady's eyes sparkled and her whole body trembled with excitement. The old man seeing this said, 'We'll take it.'
The jeweler asked how payment would be made and the old man stated, 'by check. I know you need to make sure my check is good, so I'll write it now and you can call the bank Monday to verify the funds and I'll pick the ring up Monday afternoon.'
On Monday morning, the jeweler angrily phoned the old man and said 'There's no money in that account.'
'I know,' said the old man, ' But let me tell you about my GREAT WEEKEND !!!! '
See.......Not All Seniors Are Senile
Submitted by Chase
An older, white haired man walked into a jewelry store this past Friday evening with a beautiful much younger gal at his side. He told the jeweler he was looking for a special ring for his girlfriend. The jeweler looked through his stock and brought out a $5,000 ring.
The old man said, 'No, I'd like to see something more special.'
At that statement, the jeweler went to his special stock and brought another ring over. 'Here's a stunning ring at only $40,000 the jeweler said. The lady's eyes sparkled and her whole body trembled with excitement. The old man seeing this said, 'We'll take it.'
The jeweler asked how payment would be made and the old man stated, 'by check. I know you need to make sure my check is good, so I'll write it now and you can call the bank Monday to verify the funds and I'll pick the ring up Monday afternoon.'
On Monday morning, the jeweler angrily phoned the old man and said 'There's no money in that account.'
'I know,' said the old man, ' But let me tell you about my GREAT WEEKEND !!!! '
See.......Not All Seniors Are Senile
Submitted by Chase
70
The Coffee Shop / Friday's Humor
« on: September 17, 2010, 09:44:19 am »
An old man goes to the Wizard to ask him if he can remove a curse he has
Been living with for the last 40 years.
The Wizard says, 'Maybe, but you will have to tell me the exact words
That were used to put the curse on you.'
The old man says without hesitation, 'I now pronounce you man and wife.'
Submitted by Chase
Been living with for the last 40 years.
The Wizard says, 'Maybe, but you will have to tell me the exact words
That were used to put the curse on you.'
The old man says without hesitation, 'I now pronounce you man and wife.'
Submitted by Chase
71
The Coffee Shop / Thursday's Humor
« on: September 16, 2010, 09:37:40 am »
Dear Tide:
I am writing to say what an excellent product you have.
I've used it all of my married life, as my Mom always told me it was the best.
Now that I am in my fifties I find it even better! In fact, about a month ago, I spilled some red wine on my new white blouse.
My inconsiderate and uncaring husband started to belittle me about how clumsy I was, and generally started becoming a pain in the neck. One thing led to another and somehow I ended up with his blood on my new white blouse!
I grabbed my bottle of Tide with bleach alternative, to my surprise and satisfaction, all of the stains came out! In fact, the stains came out so well the detectives who came by yesterday told me that the DNA tests on my blouse were negative and then my attorney called and said that I was no longer considered a suspect in the disappearance of my husband.
What a relief! Going through menopause is bad enough without being a murder suspect! I thank you, once again, for having a great product.
Well, gotta go, have to write to the Hefty bag people.
Submitted by Chase
I am writing to say what an excellent product you have.
I've used it all of my married life, as my Mom always told me it was the best.
Now that I am in my fifties I find it even better! In fact, about a month ago, I spilled some red wine on my new white blouse.
My inconsiderate and uncaring husband started to belittle me about how clumsy I was, and generally started becoming a pain in the neck. One thing led to another and somehow I ended up with his blood on my new white blouse!
I grabbed my bottle of Tide with bleach alternative, to my surprise and satisfaction, all of the stains came out! In fact, the stains came out so well the detectives who came by yesterday told me that the DNA tests on my blouse were negative and then my attorney called and said that I was no longer considered a suspect in the disappearance of my husband.
What a relief! Going through menopause is bad enough without being a murder suspect! I thank you, once again, for having a great product.
Well, gotta go, have to write to the Hefty bag people.
Submitted by Chase
72
The Coffee Shop / Wednesday's Humor
« on: September 15, 2010, 10:02:29 am »
A doctor examining a woman who had been rushed to the Emergency Room, he took the husband aside, and said, 'I don't like the looks of your wife-- At all.'
'Me neither doc,' said the husband. 'But she's a great cook and really good with the kids.'
Submitted by Chase
'Me neither doc,' said the husband. 'But she's a great cook and really good with the kids.'
Submitted by Chase
73
The Coffee Shop / Tuesday's Humor
« on: September 14, 2010, 09:53:01 am »
'Mr. Whatever, I have reviewed this case very carefully,' the divorce Court
Judge said, 'And I've decided to give your wife $775 a week,'
'That's very fair, your honor,' the husband said. 'And every now and
Then I'll try to send her a few bucks myself.'
Submitted by Chase
Judge said, 'And I've decided to give your wife $775 a week,'
'That's very fair, your honor,' the husband said. 'And every now and
Then I'll try to send her a few bucks myself.'
Submitted by Chase
74
The Coffee Shop / Monday's Joke
« on: September 13, 2010, 09:50:53 am »
A little boy went up to his father and asked: 'Dad, where did my
intelligence come from?'
The father replied. 'Well, son, you must have got it from your mother,
Cause I still have mine.'
Submitted by Chase
intelligence come from?'
The father replied. 'Well, son, you must have got it from your mother,
Cause I still have mine.'
Submitted by Chase
75
The Coffee Shop / Joke
« on: September 12, 2010, 02:09:16 pm »
Two scrollers were discussing popular family trends on sex, marriage, and
Family values.
One said, 'I didn't sleep with my wife before we got married, did you?'
His buddy replied, 'I'm not sure, what was her maiden name?'
Submitted by Chase
Family values.
One said, 'I didn't sleep with my wife before we got married, did you?'
His buddy replied, 'I'm not sure, what was her maiden name?'
Submitted by Chase
