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Topics - newfie

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61
Pattern Requests. / Looking For A Travel/Camper Trailer Pattern
« on: September 12, 2013, 10:23:30 am »
Hi all i'm looking for a pattern of a Travel/Camper Trailer,with the words " If the Trailers Rockin' Don't Come Knockin' ".lets see what our fine pattern makers can come up with for this fun project.It don't have to be too detailed as its going to be a wall plaque.
thanks

62
Brag Forum / Butterflies
« on: September 01, 2013, 10:05:50 am »
will i haven't posted anything in awhile been busy making butterflies.people up this way are going crazy for them we can't keep them on hand at all.must have made at lest 20 to 25 sets in the least 3 weeks & still counting.i do the cutting and base painting and put them together. my better half does all the detail painting.

63
The Coffee Shop / Sunday Morning Sex
« on: August 15, 2013, 06:46:42 am »


Upon hearing that her elderly grandfather had just passed away, Katie went straight to her grandparent's house to visit her 95 year-old grandmother and comfort her. When she asked how her grandfather had died, her grandmother replied, "He had a heart attack while we were making love on Sunday morning." Horrified, Katie told her grandmother that 2 people nearly 100 years old having sex would surely be asking for trouble. "Oh no, my dear," replied granny. "Many years ago, realizing our advanced age, we figured out the best time to do it was when the church bells would start to ring. It was just the right rhythm. Nice and slow and even. Nothing too strenuous, simply in on the Ding and out on the Dong." She paused to wipe away a tear, and continued, "He'd still be alive if the ice cream truck hadn't come along."

64
Brag Forum / latest portrait (compleated)
« on: August 10, 2013, 01:47:53 pm »
here's the latest portrait i did.finished cutting it today.cut from 1/8" birch ply,it took 5 & 1/2 hrs. to cut and 114 cuts.going to leave it natural and put it in a frame.the pattern is by Travis tdpainter it's his parents he asked me to cut it for him.

65
Brag Forum / another welcome sign
« on: August 09, 2013, 01:52:29 pm »
welcome sign i did for the Patey family

66
Brag Forum / few more welcome signs
« on: August 06, 2013, 04:23:01 pm »
here's a few more welcome signs i did.thanks to Travis (tdpainter) for the the moose and caribou patterns.

67
The Coffee Shop / Senior Sex
« on: August 02, 2013, 09:54:58 am »


The husband leans over and asks his wife, "Do you remember the first time we had sex together over fifty years ago? We went behind the village tavern where you leaned against the back fence and I made love to you."

Yes, she says, "I remember it well."

OK, he says, "How about taking a stroll around there again and we can do it for old time's sake?"

"Oh Jim, you old devil, that sounds like a crazy, but good idea!"

A police officer sitting in the next booth heard their conversation and, having a chuckle to himself, he thinks to himself, I've got to see these two old-timers having sex against a fence. I'll just keep an eye on them so there's no trouble. So he follows them.

The elderly couple walks haltingly along, leaning on each other for support aided by walking sticks. Finally, they get to the back of the tavern and make their way to the fence The old lady lifts her skirt and the old man drops his trousers. As she leans against the fence, the old man moves in.. Then suddenly they erupt into the most furious sex that the policeman has ever seen. This goes on for about ten minutes while both are making loud noises and moaning and screaming. Finally, they both collapse, panting on the ground.

The policeman is amazed. He thinks he has learned something about life and old age that he didn't know.

After about half an hour of lying on the ground recovering, the old couple struggle to their feet and put their clothes back on. The policeman, is still watching and thinks to himself, this is truly amazing, I've got to ask them what their secret is.

So, as the couple passes, he says to them, "Excuse me, but that was something else. You must've had a fantastic sex life together. Is there some sort of secret to this?"

Shaking, the old man is barely able to reply,

"Fifty years ago that wasn't an electric fence."

68
The Coffee Shop / designated decoy
« on: July 31, 2013, 07:47:06 am »
Newfie goes to a bar in Saskatchewan, the newfie gets in his car as the police car sits at the corner watching,the newfie starts his car sets of the alarm wipers backs up 2 ft drives forwards n shuts off his car,does this several times ,then gets out of opens the trunk n gets his fishing pole starts up the car buy this time everyone's gone hm the cop comes up n asks u drinking tonight sir no I'm the designated decoy

69
Pattern Requests. / wooden knife pattern
« on: July 30, 2013, 03:53:19 pm »
for those who where interested i posted a pattern and text doc. of the wooden knife i did.hope it not to hard to figure out.

http://stevedgood.com/community/index.php?topic=14403.msg136763#msg136763

70
The Coffee Shop / To Hot
« on: July 26, 2013, 07:05:23 am »
Husband: Oh, come on.
Wife: Leave me alone!
Husband: It won't take long.
Wife: I won't be able to sleep afterwards.
Husband: I can't sleep without it.
... Wife: Why do you think of things like this in the middle of the night?
Husband: Because I'm hot.
Wife: You get hot at the darnedest times.
Husband: If you love me I wouldn't have to beg you.
Wife: If you love me you'd be more considerate.
Husband: You don't love me anymore.
Wife: Yes I do, but let's forget it for tonight.
Husband: Please...go on.
Wife: All right, I'll do it.
Husband: What's the matter? You need a flashlight?
Wife: I can't find it in the dark.
Husband: Oh, for heaven's sake, feel for it!
Wife: There! Are you satisfied?
Husband: Oh, yes.
Wife: Is it up far enough?
Husband: Yeah! that's good.
Wife: Right! Now go to sleep.
And the next time you want the bloody window open, do it yourself....
Now, what were you expecting???

71
The Coffee Shop / Triple Dose of Viagra
« on: July 25, 2013, 03:07:07 pm »
A Man went the doctors office to ask for a Triple Dose of Viagra.
The doctor told him that he couldn't allow him a triple dose.
'Why not?' asked the man.
'Because it's not safe,' replied the doctor.
'But I need it really bad,' said the man.
'Well, why do you need it so badly?' asked the doctor.
The man said, 'My girlfriend is coming into town on Friday,
my ex-wife will be here on Saturday and my wife is coming home
on Sunday. Can't you see? I've got to have a triple dose.
The doctor finally relented saying, 'All right, I'll give it to you,
but you have to come in Monday morning so that I can check you
to see if there are any side effects.'
On Monday afternoon the man dragged himself into the doctor's
office...his right arm in a sling.
The doctor asked, 'Good gawd! What happened to you?'
The man said, 'No one showed up'.

72
The Coffee Shop / What Newfoundlanders do with old rubber boots.
« on: July 24, 2013, 10:34:49 am »
 ;D ;D ;D

73
Brag Forum / wooden knife
« on: July 23, 2013, 03:57:53 pm »
this is what happens when i'm bored on a Sunday afternoon and can't find anything else to make.made from some scrap 3/8 & 1/4 ply i had laying around.

74
Brag Forum / welcome sign
« on: July 23, 2013, 03:45:47 pm »
here is a welcome sign i made for a friend nothing fancy.made from 3/4 ply and 1/4 ply for the lettering,lighthouse, & seagulls

75
Pattern Requests. / Christ or praying hands
« on: July 06, 2013, 10:07:40 pm »
looking for a pattern of Christ or praying hands for a cross i was asked to make for the graves of some relatives. i found a few but to much detail in them because the maximum width is 4 inches.any help is greatly appreciated.
Thanks 

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