Show Posts

This section allows you to view all posts made by this member. Note that you can only see posts made in areas you currently have access to.


Topics - GrayBeard

Pages: 1 ... 29 30 [31] 32 33 ... 117
451
The Coffee Shop / The Shoe Box.....
« on: May 02, 2012, 10:55:10 pm »
A man and woman had been married for more than 60 years. They had shared everything. They had talked about everything. They had kept no secrets from each other ? except that the little old woman had a shoe box in the top of her closet that she had cautioned her husband never to open or ask her about.

For all of these years, he had never thought about the box, but one day the little old woman got very sick and the doctor said she would not recover.

In trying to sort out their affairs, the little old man took down the shoe box and took it to his wife's bedside. She agreed that it was time that he should know what was in the box. When he opened it, he found two crocheted dolls and a stack of money totaling $95,000!

He asked her about the contents.

"When we were to be married," she said, "my grandmother told me the secret of a happy marriage was to never argue. She told me that if I ever got angry with you, I should just keep quiet and crochet a doll."

The little old man was so moved; he had to fight back tears: Only two precious dolls were in the box. She had only been angry with him two times in all those years of living and loving!

He almost burst with happiness. "Honey," he said, "that explains the doll, but what about all of this money? Where did it come from?"

"Oh," she said. "That's the money I made from selling the dolls."

~~~GB~~~

452
The Coffee Shop / Two Engineers meet.....
« on: May 02, 2012, 10:52:09 pm »
The first engineer calls out to the other, "Hey--Nice bike! Where did you get it?" "Well," replies the other, "I was walking to class the other day when this pretty, young coed rides up on this bike. She jumps off, takes off all of her clothes, and says 'you can have ANYTHING you want!'" "Good choice," says the first guy, "her clothes wouldn't have fit you anyway.

~~~GB~~~

453
The Coffee Shop / Momma Nature is mad at us again!
« on: April 29, 2012, 11:14:47 am »
Friend, 6 miles form me, got her car beat to hell by 3" hail, tent blown down after Cardinals game with 1 dead and over 100 injured. We got heavy rain, pea size hail and some lightening.

I love living in the midwest! Where else can you find such variety in weather!

AND more on the way today.

~~~GB~~~

454
The Coffee Shop / "PUNography"
« on: April 28, 2012, 12:16:42 pm »
 
I changed my i Pod name to Titanic... It's syncing now .

When chemists die, they barium .

Jokes about German sausage are the wurst .

A soldier who survived mustard gas and pepper spray is now a seasoned
veteran .

I know a guy who's addicted to brake fluid . He says he can stop any
time .

How does Moses make his tea ? Hebrews it .

I stayed up all night to see where the sun went. Than it dawned on me .

This girl said she recognized me from the vegetarian club, but I'd
never met herbivore .

I'm reading a book about anti-gravity . I can't put it down .

I did a theatrical performance about puns . It was a play on words .

They told me I had type A blood , but it was a Type- O.

A dyslexic man walks into a bra .

PMS jokes aren't funny, period .

Why were the Indians here first ? They had reservations .

Class trip to the Coca-Cola factory . I hope there's no pop quiz .

Energizer bunny arrested . Charged with battery .

I didn't like my beard at first . Then it grew on me .

How do you make holy water ? Boil the hell out of it !

Did you hear about the cross eyed teacher who lost her job because she
couldn't control her pupils ?

When you get a bladder infection , urine trouble .

What does a clock do when it's hungry ? It goes back four seconds .

I wondered why the baseball was getting bigger . Then it hit me !

Broken pencils are pointless .

I tried to catch some fog . I mist.

What do you call a dinosaur with a extensive vocabulary ? A thesaurus .

England has no kidney bank, but it does have a Liverpool .

I used to be a banker, but then I lost interest .

I dropped out of communism class because of lousy Marx .

All the toilets in New York 's police stations have been stolen . Police
have nothing to go on .

I got a job at a bakery because I kneaded dough .

Haunted French pancakes give me the crepes .

Velcro - what a rip off !

Cartoonist found dead in home . Details are sketchy .

Venison for dinner ? Oh deer !

Earthquake in Washington obviously government's fault .

I used to think I was indecisive, but now I'm not so sure.

Be kind to your dentist. He has fillings, too.

Never fall in love with a tennis player because to a tennis player, love means nothing.
 
 
 
 

455
General Scroll Saw Talk / "UpLoader"....
« on: April 25, 2012, 01:12:15 pm »
Seems it is still 'full'...

Must be a b*&ch to fix!

Of course with all the other problems that should be on the BOTTOM of Steve's priority list!

~~~GB~~~

456
General Scroll Saw Talk / Look What I Found!
« on: April 22, 2012, 11:31:20 pm »
Popped up today on craigslist in my area....

Going to try and get it if I can...

http://stlouis.craigslist.org/tls/2971933174.html

~~~GB~~~

457
General Scroll Saw Talk / Scrapbooks....
« on: April 20, 2012, 08:59:47 pm »
I have made 5 and 3 are shown on my Flickr page...<http://tinyurl.com/83tezxo>

These are stock items at your friendly Michael's Store.
Not the best plywood around but cuts well and finishes very nicely.

Now that I can get posts I will make future scrapbooks a little more interesting by using different types of plywood.

~~~GB~~~

458
Brag Forum / Another "Crown of Thorns"
« on: April 20, 2012, 02:30:52 pm »
Just uploaded the 3rd version of the stack I cut...

Homemade cedar frame, black felt backing, 14.5 X 18 inches overall.

Stack cutting sure makes for doing interesting presentations of the same theme.

~~~GB~~~

459
General Scroll Saw Talk / Sandeply from Home Depot...
« on: April 18, 2012, 07:26:13 pm »
Decided to give it a try today and bought a sheet of 1/4" - 4X8. Plan was to use for backer boards. Store cut to 2 x 4 sheets for me at no charge. $`19.87 for the sheet.
On the way to the checkout I saw the "Cull Cart" marked, "all pieces 75% OFF".
There was a piece of 1/4" Oak plywood that measured 20" x 79" with only a small area that cannot be used.

Got to cashier (contractor checkout) and the young man rang up the Sandeply.
He could not find a sticker on the Oak p/w and looked at me and said,
"Looks like that is included in the full sheet to me!"

So I thanked him profusely, paid the $21.62 and got the heck out of there!

Sandeply - $19.87
Almost half sheet of Oak plywood - Free
Pleasant and helpful Checker...PRICELESS!

It pays to be nice to the store employees!

~~~GB~~~

460
The Coffee Shop / 2 Farmers & 10 pigs!
« on: April 14, 2012, 12:23:28 pm »
Ten Little Pigs
A farmer had 5 female pigs.
Times were hard, so he decided to take them to the county fair and sell them.
... At the fair, he met another farmer who owned five male pigs.
After talking a bit, they decided to mate the pigs and split everything 50/50.
The farmers lived sixty miles apart, so they agreed to drive thirty miles each
and find a field in which to let the pigs mate.
The first morning, the farmer with the female pigs got up at 5 A.M., loaded the pigs into the family station wagon, (which was the only vehicle he had) and drove the thirty miles.
While the pigs were mating, he asked the other farmer, "How will I know if they are pregnant?"
The other farmer replied,"If they're lying in the grass tomorrow morning, they're pregnant. If they're in the mud, they're not."
The next morning the pigs were rolling in the mud, so he hosed them off, loaded them into the family station wagon again and proceeded to try again.
This continued each morning for more than a week and both farmers were worn out.
The next morning he was too tired to get out of bed.
He called to his wife,"Honey, please look outside and tell me whether the pigs are in the mud or in the grass."
"Neither," yelled his wife, "they're in the station wagon and one of them is honking the horn."

461
General Scroll Saw Talk / Need Air Hose?
« on: April 10, 2012, 12:42:00 pm »

462
General Scroll Saw Talk / Habor Freight Easter Coupon....
« on: April 08, 2012, 09:09:49 am »
One Day Only and 25% off any one Item!

I do not have a problem shopping after Church and Family Brunch....

Thinking of maybe looking into the small bandsaw they have...

Any Thoughts out there?

~~~GB~~~

463
Brag Forum / "Crown of Thorns" 2nd rendition
« on: April 06, 2012, 02:21:44 pm »
Image is 'flipped', cut out and mounted on black felt.

~~~GB~~~

464
Brag Forum / "Crown of Thorns" by GrayBeard....
« on: April 06, 2012, 12:47:35 pm »
I just added my rendition to the gallery.
Cut in 5/8" Basswood plank.

But ...Why Today?

~~~GB~~~

465
General Scroll Saw Talk / Weekend Sale at PeachTree....
« on: April 06, 2012, 10:20:54 am »
http://www.ptreeusa.com/edirect_040612.htm

A few goodies for woodworkers.

~~~GB~~~

Pages: 1 ... 29 30 [31] 32 33 ... 117

SMF

Teknoromi