46
General Scroll Saw Talk / I got my ornaments.
« on: December 13, 2013, 04:05:22 pm »
Checked the mail a couple days ago and found two beautiful ornaments there from Sheila Landry.we love them Sheila thank you very much.
News: Had a couple issues with the forum today. 1/19/2017. I believe I have them corrected now. Let me know if you have any trouble. Thanks.
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47
Pattern Requests. / christmas tree ornament
« on: December 09, 2013, 09:35:31 am »
i'm looking for a christmas tree ornament of a wolf.
48
The Coffee Shop / you will love this
« on: December 08, 2013, 10:44:52 pm »
A senior citizens group charters a bus for an overnight gambling casino trip.
An elderly woman comes up to the bus driver and says, 'I've just been molested!'
The driver felt that she had fallen asleep and had a dream.. So he tells her to go back to her seat and sit down.
A short time later, another old woman comes forward and claims that she was just molested. The driver thought he had a bus load of old wackos, but who would be molesting these old ladies?
About 10 minutes later, a third old lady comes up and says that she'd been molested too.
The bus driver decides that he'd had enough and pulls into the first rest area.
When he turns the lights on and stands up, he sees an old man on his hands and knees crawling in the aisles.
'Hey gramps, what are you doing down there?' says the bus driver.
'I lost my toupee. I thought I found it three times, but every time I tried to grab it, it gets up and runs away!'
An elderly woman comes up to the bus driver and says, 'I've just been molested!'
The driver felt that she had fallen asleep and had a dream.. So he tells her to go back to her seat and sit down.
A short time later, another old woman comes forward and claims that she was just molested. The driver thought he had a bus load of old wackos, but who would be molesting these old ladies?
About 10 minutes later, a third old lady comes up and says that she'd been molested too.
The bus driver decides that he'd had enough and pulls into the first rest area.
When he turns the lights on and stands up, he sees an old man on his hands and knees crawling in the aisles.
'Hey gramps, what are you doing down there?' says the bus driver.
'I lost my toupee. I thought I found it three times, but every time I tried to grab it, it gets up and runs away!'
49
Brag Forum / Lab & Mallard Duck
« on: December 03, 2013, 02:53:45 pm »
This is my latest project.its about 7"x9" cut this the weekend i stacked 4 pieces of 1/8" birch ply for the pattern and 1/4" for the backer.some pretty hairy spots in this one.didn't put any finish on it yep think i'm going just go over it with clear gloss.Pattern is from June 2007 issue of Creative Woodworks & Crafts
50
The Coffee Shop / thought this was funny
« on: November 24, 2013, 03:54:23 pm »
got this from Facebook thought it was pretty funny LOL.
51
Brag Forum / Duck & Welcome Plaque
« on: November 19, 2013, 03:57:39 pm »
here's a couple of plaques i did a few days ago. i stacked cut the tops and then added the backers.there 1/8" birch for the pattern and 1/4" ply for the backer.there tdpainters patterns thanks Travis i enjoyed doing them .
52
The Coffee Shop / Newfie rock & roll
« on: November 11, 2013, 11:33:19 pm »
Little funny video i found awhile ago.cool little song
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=n3E4F_QwMNY&feature=share
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=n3E4F_QwMNY&feature=share
53
The Coffee Shop / HAPPY HALLOWEEN ALL
« on: October 31, 2013, 10:45:09 am »
Happy Halloween Everyone! Be safe and watch for the little trick or treaters today! Boooo
54
Brag Forum / slotted ornaments
« on: October 22, 2013, 08:08:26 pm »
couple slotted ornaments cut from 1/4" ply painted silver
55
Brag Forum / holiday wall/door hanging
« on: October 22, 2013, 05:27:01 pm »
this is a Merry Christmas wall/door hanging about 10" wide made from 1/4"ply same as the seasons greeting one it did.its a Steve Good which i enlarged.
56
Brag Forum / wall/door hanging
« on: October 21, 2013, 11:04:15 am »
cut a couple of those over the weekend.there about 10" wide made from 1/4" ply.finished with a bit of spray glitter ans few coats of spray gloss.
57
General Scroll Saw Talk / Bamboo Wood
« on: October 14, 2013, 03:42:28 pm »
I bought a couple of cutting boards one is 3/8" & the other is 3/4" thick & is made of Bamboo wood.i was wondering if anyone out there ever cut this kind of wood can tell me any pros & cons of it?
Thanks
Thanks
58
Brag Forum / 2013 ornament
« on: September 30, 2013, 11:27:22 pm »
i guess its time to start some christmas ornaments heres the first one 2013 ornament cut from 1/4" ply spray panted white with spray silver and gold glitter.pattern is from creative wood works & crafts holiday issue.
59
Brag Forum / compound birdhouse ornaments
« on: September 29, 2013, 11:00:46 pm »
some compound birdhouse ornaments cut from 1-1/4" X 1-1/4" about 3 to 3-1/2" long.thanks to Danny after i saw the ones he cut thought i give a few of them a try and what you know i cut the ole set of 15.i love cutting them little compound ornaments.
Thanks for looking
Thanks for looking
60
The Coffee Shop / TOO FUNNY NOT TO PASS ON!!
« on: September 21, 2013, 07:08:21 am »
TOO FUNNY NOT TO PASS ON!!
How Do Court Reporters Keep Straight Faces?
These are from a book called Disorder in the Courts and are things people actually said in court, word for word, taken down and published by court reporters that had the torment of staying calm while the exchanges were taking place.
ATTORNEY: What was the first thing your husband said to you that morning?
WITNESS: He said, 'Where am I, Cathy?'
ATTORNEY: And why did that upset you?
WITNESS: My name is Susan!
_______________________________
ATTORNEY: What gear were you in at the moment of the impact?
WITNESS: Gucci sweats and Reeboks.
____________________________________________
ATTORNEY: Are you sexually active?
WITNESS: No, I just lie there.
____________________________________________
ATTORNEY: What is your date of birth?
WITNESS: July 18th.
ATTORNEY: What year?
WITNESS: Every year.
_____________________________________
ATTORNEY: How old is your son, the one living with you?
WITNESS: Thirty-eight or thirty-five, I can't remember which.
ATTORNEY: How long has he lived with you?
WITNESS: Forty-five years.
_________________________________
ATTORNEY: This myasthenia gravis, does it affect your memory at all?
WITNESS: Yes.
ATTORNEY: And in what ways does it affect your memory?
WITNESS: I forget..
ATTORNEY: You forget? Can you give us an example of something you forgot?
___________________________________________
ATTORNEY: Now doctor, isn't it true that when a person dies in his sleep, he doesn't know about it until the next morning?
WITNESS: Did you actually pass the bar exam?
____________________________________
ATTORNEY: The youngest son, the 20-year-old, how old is he?
WITNESS: He's 20, much like your IQ.
___________________________________________
ATTORNEY: Were you present when your picture was taken?
WITNESS: Are you shitting me?
_________________________________________
ATTORNEY: So the date of conception (of the baby) was August 8th?
WITNESS: Yes.
ATTORNEY: And what were you doing at that time?
WITNESS: Getting laid
____________________________________________
ATTORNEY: She had three children , right?
WITNESS: Yes.
ATTORNEY: How many were boys?
WITNESS: None.
ATTORNEY: Were there any girls?
WITNESS: Your Honor, I think I need a different attorney. Can I get a new attorney?
____________________________________________
ATTORNEY: How was your first marriage terminated?
WITNESS: By death..
ATTORNEY: And by whose death was it terminated?
WITNESS: Take a guess.
___________________________________________
ATTORNEY: Can you describe the individual?
WITNESS: He was about medium height and had a beard
ATTORNEY: Was this a male or a female?
WITNESS: Unless the Circus was in town I'm going with male.
_____________________________________
ATTORNEY: Is your appearance here this morning pursuant to a deposition notice which I sent to your attorney?
WITNESS: No, this is how I dress when I go to work.
______________________________________
ATTORNEY: Doctor , how many of your autopsies have you performed on dead people?
WITNESS: All of them. The live ones put up too much of a fight.
_________________________________________
ATTORNEY: ALL your responses MUST be oral, OK? What school did you go to?
WITNESS: Oral...
_________________________________________
ATTORNEY: Do you recall the time that you examined the body?
WITNESS: The autopsy started around 8:30 PM
ATTORNEY: And Mr. Denton was dead at the time?
WITNESS: If not, he was by the time I finished.
____________________________________________
ATTORNEY: Are you qualified to give a urine sample?
WITNESS: Are you qualified to ask that question?
______________________________________
And last:
ATTORNEY: Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check for a pulse?
WITNESS: No.
ATTORNEY: Did you check for blood pressure?
WITNESS: No.
ATTORNEY: Did you check for breathing?
WITNESS: No..
ATTORNEY: So, then it is possible that the patient was alive when you began the autopsy?
WITNESS: No.
ATTORNEY: How can you be so sure, Doctor?
WITNESS: Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar.
ATTORNEY: I see, but could the patient have still been alive, nevertheless?
WITNESS: Yes, it is possible that he could have been alive and practicing law.
How Do Court Reporters Keep Straight Faces?
These are from a book called Disorder in the Courts and are things people actually said in court, word for word, taken down and published by court reporters that had the torment of staying calm while the exchanges were taking place.
ATTORNEY: What was the first thing your husband said to you that morning?
WITNESS: He said, 'Where am I, Cathy?'
ATTORNEY: And why did that upset you?
WITNESS: My name is Susan!
_______________________________
ATTORNEY: What gear were you in at the moment of the impact?
WITNESS: Gucci sweats and Reeboks.
____________________________________________
ATTORNEY: Are you sexually active?
WITNESS: No, I just lie there.
____________________________________________
ATTORNEY: What is your date of birth?
WITNESS: July 18th.
ATTORNEY: What year?
WITNESS: Every year.
_____________________________________
ATTORNEY: How old is your son, the one living with you?
WITNESS: Thirty-eight or thirty-five, I can't remember which.
ATTORNEY: How long has he lived with you?
WITNESS: Forty-five years.
_________________________________
ATTORNEY: This myasthenia gravis, does it affect your memory at all?
WITNESS: Yes.
ATTORNEY: And in what ways does it affect your memory?
WITNESS: I forget..
ATTORNEY: You forget? Can you give us an example of something you forgot?
___________________________________________
ATTORNEY: Now doctor, isn't it true that when a person dies in his sleep, he doesn't know about it until the next morning?
WITNESS: Did you actually pass the bar exam?
____________________________________
ATTORNEY: The youngest son, the 20-year-old, how old is he?
WITNESS: He's 20, much like your IQ.
___________________________________________
ATTORNEY: Were you present when your picture was taken?
WITNESS: Are you shitting me?
_________________________________________
ATTORNEY: So the date of conception (of the baby) was August 8th?
WITNESS: Yes.
ATTORNEY: And what were you doing at that time?
WITNESS: Getting laid
____________________________________________
ATTORNEY: She had three children , right?
WITNESS: Yes.
ATTORNEY: How many were boys?
WITNESS: None.
ATTORNEY: Were there any girls?
WITNESS: Your Honor, I think I need a different attorney. Can I get a new attorney?
____________________________________________
ATTORNEY: How was your first marriage terminated?
WITNESS: By death..
ATTORNEY: And by whose death was it terminated?
WITNESS: Take a guess.
___________________________________________
ATTORNEY: Can you describe the individual?
WITNESS: He was about medium height and had a beard
ATTORNEY: Was this a male or a female?
WITNESS: Unless the Circus was in town I'm going with male.
_____________________________________
ATTORNEY: Is your appearance here this morning pursuant to a deposition notice which I sent to your attorney?
WITNESS: No, this is how I dress when I go to work.
______________________________________
ATTORNEY: Doctor , how many of your autopsies have you performed on dead people?
WITNESS: All of them. The live ones put up too much of a fight.
_________________________________________
ATTORNEY: ALL your responses MUST be oral, OK? What school did you go to?
WITNESS: Oral...
_________________________________________
ATTORNEY: Do you recall the time that you examined the body?
WITNESS: The autopsy started around 8:30 PM
ATTORNEY: And Mr. Denton was dead at the time?
WITNESS: If not, he was by the time I finished.
____________________________________________
ATTORNEY: Are you qualified to give a urine sample?
WITNESS: Are you qualified to ask that question?
______________________________________
And last:
ATTORNEY: Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check for a pulse?
WITNESS: No.
ATTORNEY: Did you check for blood pressure?
WITNESS: No.
ATTORNEY: Did you check for breathing?
WITNESS: No..
ATTORNEY: So, then it is possible that the patient was alive when you began the autopsy?
WITNESS: No.
ATTORNEY: How can you be so sure, Doctor?
WITNESS: Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar.
ATTORNEY: I see, but could the patient have still been alive, nevertheless?
WITNESS: Yes, it is possible that he could have been alive and practicing law.
