331
The Coffee Shop / My Philosophy of life....
« on: October 19, 2012, 09:59:34 pm »
And I practice it daily....
News: Had a couple issues with the forum today. 1/19/2017. I believe I have them corrected now. Let me know if you have any trouble. Thanks.
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334
The Coffee Shop / Where "White Man" went wrong....
« on: October 18, 2012, 03:17:46 pm »Indian Chief "Two Eagles" was asked by a white U.S. government official, "You have observed the white man for 90 years. You've seen his wars and his technological advances. You've seen his progreess, and the damage he's done."
The Chief nodded in agreement.
The official continued, "Considering all these events, in your opinion, where did the white man go wrong?"
The chief stared at the government official then replied, "When white man find land. Indians running it, no taxes, no debt, plenty buffalo, plenty beaver, clean water. Women did all the work, Medicine man free. Indian man spend all day hunting and fishing; all night having sex."
Then the chief leaned back and smiled,
"Only white man dumb enough to think he could improve system like that."
335
The Coffee Shop / St. Louis Cardinals!
« on: October 15, 2012, 07:04:18 pm »
Watch us GO!
they said we couldn't make it to the NLCS...but we did and won the first game last night!
Well boys and girls...we are at it again tonight on Fox!
Only the Yankees have won more than the Cardinals.
Can we do 12 on 2012?
I think so!!!!
~~~GB~~~
they said we couldn't make it to the NLCS...but we did and won the first game last night!
Well boys and girls...we are at it again tonight on Fox!
Only the Yankees have won more than the Cardinals.
Can we do 12 on 2012?
I think so!!!!
~~~GB~~~
336
The Coffee Shop / The new "Smart Car".....
« on: October 13, 2012, 09:29:03 am »
Be Careful out there!
337
The Coffee Shop / Something to think about!
« on: October 12, 2012, 10:32:05 pm »
Did you or are you doing it?
338
General Scroll Saw Talk / Today's SPECIAL from PeachTree....
« on: October 12, 2012, 10:10:47 am »339
The Coffee Shop / Halloween! - 3
« on: October 09, 2012, 11:27:30 am »
Hip Hip Hooray!
Halloween is near!! It's not the ghoulies, ghosties or monsters I fear,
it's the 10 lbs of goodies that will go to my REAR!!
~~~GB~~~
Halloween is near!! It's not the ghoulies, ghosties or monsters I fear,
it's the 10 lbs of goodies that will go to my REAR!!
~~~GB~~~
340
The Coffee Shop / Halloween! - 2
« on: October 09, 2012, 11:24:04 am »
Halloween is the epitome of hypocrisy:
Women are encouraged to dress slutty,
kids take candy from strangers,
and it's OK to scare the crap out of them!
~~~GB~~~
Women are encouraged to dress slutty,
kids take candy from strangers,
and it's OK to scare the crap out of them!
~~~GB~~~
341
The Coffee Shop / Halloween!
« on: October 09, 2012, 11:21:48 am »
If you hear moans and howls coming from your neighbor's house on Halloween, are you really sure that it is safe to knock on the door?
~~~GB~~~
~~~GB~~~
342
General Scroll Saw Talk / Slick item from PeachTree today!
« on: October 05, 2012, 09:48:56 am »343
The Coffee Shop / "The Man Who Gave Up Sex For Golf"
« on: October 03, 2012, 08:27:25 pm »
A golfer is in a competitive match with a friend, who is ahead by a
couple of strokes. "Boy, I'd give anything to sink this putt," the
golfer mumbles to himself.
Just then, a stranger walks up beside him and whispers, "Would you be
willing to give up one-fourth of your sex life?"
Thinking the man is crazy and his answer will be meaningless, the
golfer also feels that maybe this is a good omen so he says, "Sure,"
and sinks the putt.
Two holes later, he mumbles to himself again, "Gee, I sure would
like to get an eagle on this one."
The same stranger is at his side again and whispers, "Would it be worth
giving up another fourth of your sex life?"
Shrugging, the golfer replies, "Okay." And he makes an eagle.
On the final hole, the golfer needs another eagle to win. Without
waiting for him to say anything, the stranger quickly moves to his side
and says, "Would winning this match be worth giving up the rest of
your sex life?"
"Definitely," the golfer replies, and he makes the eagle.
As the golfer is walking to the club house, the stranger walks
alongside him and says, "I haven't really been fair with you because
you don't know who I am. I'm the Devil, and from this day forward
you will have no sex life."
"Nice to meet you," the golfer replies, "I'm Father O'Malley."
couple of strokes. "Boy, I'd give anything to sink this putt," the
golfer mumbles to himself.
Just then, a stranger walks up beside him and whispers, "Would you be
willing to give up one-fourth of your sex life?"
Thinking the man is crazy and his answer will be meaningless, the
golfer also feels that maybe this is a good omen so he says, "Sure,"
and sinks the putt.
Two holes later, he mumbles to himself again, "Gee, I sure would
like to get an eagle on this one."
The same stranger is at his side again and whispers, "Would it be worth
giving up another fourth of your sex life?"
Shrugging, the golfer replies, "Okay." And he makes an eagle.
On the final hole, the golfer needs another eagle to win. Without
waiting for him to say anything, the stranger quickly moves to his side
and says, "Would winning this match be worth giving up the rest of
your sex life?"
"Definitely," the golfer replies, and he makes the eagle.
As the golfer is walking to the club house, the stranger walks
alongside him and says, "I haven't really been fair with you because
you don't know who I am. I'm the Devil, and from this day forward
you will have no sex life."
"Nice to meet you," the golfer replies, "I'm Father O'Malley."
344
The Coffee Shop / Irish Alzheimer's......
« on: September 29, 2012, 12:13:40 pm »
Irish Alzheimer's Murphy showed up at Mass one Sunday & the priest almost fell down when he saw him. He'd never been to church in his life. After Mass, the priest caught up with him & said, " Murphy , I am so glad ya decided to come to Mass. What made ya come?" Murphy said, "I got to be honest with you Father, a while back, I misplaced me hat & I really, really love that hat. I know that McGlynn had a hat just like mine & I knew he came to church every Sunday. I also knew that he had to take off his hat during Mass & figured he would leave it in the back of church. So, I was going to leave after Communion & steal McGlynn 's hat." The priest said, "Well, Murphy , I notice that ya didn't steal McGlynn's hat.
What changed your mind?" Murphy replied, "Well, after I heard your sermon on the 10 Commandments I decided that I didn't need to steal McGlynn 's hat after all." With a tear in his eye the priest gave Murphy a big smile & said;"After I talked about 'Thou Shalt Not Steal' ya decided you would rather do without your hat than burn in hell, eh ?" Murphy slowly shook his head. "No, Father, after ya talked about 'Thou Shalt Not Commit Adultry' I remembered where I left me hat ."
What changed your mind?" Murphy replied, "Well, after I heard your sermon on the 10 Commandments I decided that I didn't need to steal McGlynn 's hat after all." With a tear in his eye the priest gave Murphy a big smile & said;"After I talked about 'Thou Shalt Not Steal' ya decided you would rather do without your hat than burn in hell, eh ?" Murphy slowly shook his head. "No, Father, after ya talked about 'Thou Shalt Not Commit Adultry' I remembered where I left me hat ."
345
The Coffee Shop / Harley Mechanic and the Heart Surgeon.....
« on: September 29, 2012, 12:04:28 pm »
A mechanic was removing a cylinder head from the motor of a Harley
motorcycle when he spotted a well-known heart surgeon in his shop.
The surgeon was there, waiting for the service manager to come and take a look at his bike.
The mechanic shouted across the garage, "Hey, Doc, can I ask you a question?"
The surgeon a bit surprised, walked over to the mechanic working on the motorcycle. The mechanic straightened up, wiped his hands on a rag and asked, "So Doc, look at this engine. I open its heart, take valves out, fix 'em, put 'em back in, and when I finish, it works just like new. So how come I get such a small salary and you get the really big bucks, when you and I are doing basically the same work?"
The surgeon paused, smiled and leaned over, and whispered to the mechanic...
"Try doing it with the engine running."
motorcycle when he spotted a well-known heart surgeon in his shop.
The surgeon was there, waiting for the service manager to come and take a look at his bike.
The mechanic shouted across the garage, "Hey, Doc, can I ask you a question?"
The surgeon a bit surprised, walked over to the mechanic working on the motorcycle. The mechanic straightened up, wiped his hands on a rag and asked, "So Doc, look at this engine. I open its heart, take valves out, fix 'em, put 'em back in, and when I finish, it works just like new. So how come I get such a small salary and you get the really big bucks, when you and I are doing basically the same work?"
The surgeon paused, smiled and leaned over, and whispered to the mechanic...
"Try doing it with the engine running."
