316
Brag Forum / Been keeping busy
« on: March 04, 2012, 09:22:37 am »
As my EX16 is almost unusable due to the work jumping/bouncing around all over the place, I kept busy on my lathe instead and made an Oil Lamp.
News: Had a couple issues with the forum today. 1/19/2017. I believe I have them corrected now. Let me know if you have any trouble. Thanks.
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317
The Coffee Shop / I'm gonner get that cat
« on: March 02, 2012, 02:29:53 pm »
The picture says it all !!!!!
318
Pattern Requests. / VW Camper Van
« on: March 01, 2012, 04:39:17 pm »
Can anyone help with a pattern for a VW Camper Van please. I need it to be about 71/2 inches long so it can be cut out and put on a base with a small clock insert (35mm watch insert) I have attatched a couple of pictures of the type of vehicle, they are poor quality but you can see the sort of thing I'm after. Thanks in advance.
319
Brag Forum / The Horse
« on: February 27, 2012, 12:00:05 pm »
I have just finished Steve's "Horse" pattern and thought you might like a look.
Keith.
Keith.
320
The Coffee Shop / Hospital Sponge Bath
« on: February 24, 2012, 05:04:20 am »A male patient is lying in bed in the hospital, wearing an oxygen mask
over his mouth and nose. A young student nurse appears to give him a partial
sponge bath.
"Nurse,"' he mumbles from behind the mask, "are my testicles black?"
Embarrassed, the young nurse replies, "I don't know, Sir. I'm only here to
wash your upper body and feet."
He struggles to ask again, "Nurse, please check for me. Are my testicles
black?"
Concerned that he might elevate his blood pressure and heart rate from
worrying about his testicles, she overcomes her embarrassment and pulls back
the covers.
She raises his gown, holds his manhood in one hand and his testicles in the
other.
She looks very closely and says, "There's nothing wrong with them, Sir.
They look fine."
The man slowly pulls off his oxygen mask, smiles at her, and says very
slowly, "Thank you very much. That was wonderful. Now listen very, very
closely: Are - my - test - results - back?"
321
General Scroll Saw Talk / Calling all Excalibur owners
« on: February 23, 2012, 02:18:04 pm »
I have been asked by Axminster Power Tools to ask my friends here to take a measurement of the North/South (Front/Back) movement on the blade of their Excalibur machines. They have been having trouble setting up the machines for us over here in the UK. We have been getting problems with excessive vibration, and my last machine has over 1/16" movement front to back which made cutting in tight areas awkward if not impossible. since then the vibration has come back with a vengence and it is rattling inside too.
If you could let me know the measurements I would be grateful, and will pass the measurements on to Axminster.
Thanks in advance.
If you could let me know the measurements I would be grateful, and will pass the measurements on to Axminster.
Thanks in advance.
322
Ask Steve a question. / MissinFishin
« on: February 22, 2012, 10:07:10 am »
Steve, please could you tell me which font you used when making your "MISSINFISHIN" key rack? thanks
Keith
Keith
323
The Coffee Shop / A Wife's question.
« on: February 21, 2012, 03:43:40 pm »
A wife asked her husband to describe her. He said "you're A B C D E F G H I K." she said "Whats that mean?". He said "Adorable Beautiful Cute Delightful Elegant Foxy Gorgeous Hot." She said "Oooohh thats so lovely - but what about the I J K?" He said "I'm Just Kidding"
324
Brag Forum / When things go wrong
« on: February 17, 2012, 06:30:10 pm »
Everyone posts pictures of their beautifull work here, so I thought I would share a picture with you. I had completed Steves Gone Fishin key rack and had put on a coat of Boiled Linseed Oil and thinners.When it had dried I took it down from its hook and went to spray a coat of laquer on it, but when walking across the shop, my leg gave way and I fell over (again lol) I received a small bruise on the cheekbone area and my latest work suffered too as you can see in the picture.
325
The Coffee Shop / NEW DRINKING WARNING
« on: February 09, 2012, 06:24:07 pm »
Just released: Vodka and Ice will ruin your kidneys, Rum and ice will ruin your liver: Whiskey and ice will ruin your heart: Gin and ice will ruin your brain: Pepsi and ice will ruin your teeth.... there you have it! ICE is lethal. Warn all your friends: Lay off the ice, just drink it straight!! Forward this immediately. You could save a life!!! And Don't forget what it did to the Titanic!!!
326
Brag Forum / Chess Clock
« on: February 03, 2012, 09:36:32 am »
Paul, thought you might like to see how the first one turned out, there is no finish on it yet and it is only sitting on the black background, but it gives you an idea of what it will look like when finished. Thanks for the pattern again.
327
Pattern Requests. / Long Haired retriever
« on: February 02, 2012, 04:16:38 pm »
Paul, is there any chance you can make me a pattern similar to this one I cut with a jack russell to one with a Long haired retriever in it. Pleeeeeeeeease. Sorry I dont have an original pattern I worked from a photograph last time.
328
The Coffee Shop / The Divorce
« on: January 31, 2012, 05:31:27 pm »
She spent the first day packing her belongings into boxes, crates and suitcases.
On the second day, she had the movers come and collect her things.
On the third day, she sat down for the last time at their beautiful dining room table by candlelight, put on some soft background music, and feasted on a
pound of shrimp, a jar of caviar, and a bottle of Chardonnay.
When she had finished, she went into each and every room and deposited a few half-eaten shrimp shells, dipped in caviar, into the hollow of the curtain rods.
She then cleaned up the kitchen and left.
When the husband returned with his new girlfriend, all was bliss for the first few days. Then slowly, the house began to smell. They tried everything; cleaning
and mopping and airing the place out. Vents were checked for dead rodents, and carpets were steam cleaned. Air fresheners were hung everywhere.
Exterminators were brought in to set off gas canisters, during which they had to move out for a few days, and in the end they even paid to replace the expensive wool carpeting.
Nothing worked. People stopped coming over to visit... Repairmen refused to work in the house...The maid quit... Finally, they could not take the stench any longer and
decided to move.
A month later, even though they had cut their price in half, they could not find a buyer for their stinky house. Word got out, and eventually, even the local Estate Agents refused to return their calls.
Finally, they had to borrow a huge sum of money from the bank to purchase a new place.
The ex-wife called the man, and asked how things were going. He told her the saga of the rotting house. She listened politely, and said that she missed her old home terribly, and would be willing to reduce her divorce settlement in exchange for getting the house back...
Knowing his ex-wife had no idea how bad the smell was he agreed on price that was about 1/10th of what the house had been worth... But only if she were to sign the papers that very day. She agreed, and within the hour, his lawyers delivered the paperwork.
A week later, the man and his new girlfriend stood smirking as they watched the moving company pack everything to take to their new home...
....including the curtain rods
I LOVE A HAPPY ENDING, DON'T YOU?
On the second day, she had the movers come and collect her things.
On the third day, she sat down for the last time at their beautiful dining room table by candlelight, put on some soft background music, and feasted on a
pound of shrimp, a jar of caviar, and a bottle of Chardonnay.
When she had finished, she went into each and every room and deposited a few half-eaten shrimp shells, dipped in caviar, into the hollow of the curtain rods.
She then cleaned up the kitchen and left.
When the husband returned with his new girlfriend, all was bliss for the first few days. Then slowly, the house began to smell. They tried everything; cleaning
and mopping and airing the place out. Vents were checked for dead rodents, and carpets were steam cleaned. Air fresheners were hung everywhere.
Exterminators were brought in to set off gas canisters, during which they had to move out for a few days, and in the end they even paid to replace the expensive wool carpeting.
Nothing worked. People stopped coming over to visit... Repairmen refused to work in the house...The maid quit... Finally, they could not take the stench any longer and
decided to move.
A month later, even though they had cut their price in half, they could not find a buyer for their stinky house. Word got out, and eventually, even the local Estate Agents refused to return their calls.
Finally, they had to borrow a huge sum of money from the bank to purchase a new place.
The ex-wife called the man, and asked how things were going. He told her the saga of the rotting house. She listened politely, and said that she missed her old home terribly, and would be willing to reduce her divorce settlement in exchange for getting the house back...
Knowing his ex-wife had no idea how bad the smell was he agreed on price that was about 1/10th of what the house had been worth... But only if she were to sign the papers that very day. She agreed, and within the hour, his lawyers delivered the paperwork.
A week later, the man and his new girlfriend stood smirking as they watched the moving company pack everything to take to their new home...
....including the curtain rods
I LOVE A HAPPY ENDING, DON'T YOU?
329
The Coffee Shop / The Gift
« on: January 31, 2012, 05:23:35 pm »
A young man wanted to purchase a gift for his new sweetheart?s birthday, and as they had not been dating very long, after careful consideration, he decided a pair of gloves would strike the right note: romantic, but not too personal. Accompanied by his sweetheart?s younger sister, he went to Nordstrom and bought a pair of white gloves. The sister purchased a pair of panties for herself.
During the wrapping, the clerk mixed up the items and the sister got the gloves and the sweetheart got the panties.
Without checking the contents, the young man sealed the package and sent it to his sweetheart with the following note:
? I chose these because I noticed you are not in the habit of wearing any when we go out in the evening. If it had not been for your sister, I would have chosen the long ones with the buttons, but she wears the short ones that are easier to remove. These are a delicate shade, but the lady I bought them from showed me the pair she had been wearing for the past three weeks and they were hardly soiled. I had her try yours on for me and she looked really smart. I wish I was there to put them on you for the first time, as no doubt other hands will come into contact with them before I have a chance to see you again. When you take them off, remember to blow in them before putting them away as they will naturally be a little damp from wearing. Just think how many times I will kiss them in the coming year. I hope you will wear them for me on Friday night.? All my love.
P.S. ?The latest style is to wear them folded down with a little fur showing.?
During the wrapping, the clerk mixed up the items and the sister got the gloves and the sweetheart got the panties.
Without checking the contents, the young man sealed the package and sent it to his sweetheart with the following note:
? I chose these because I noticed you are not in the habit of wearing any when we go out in the evening. If it had not been for your sister, I would have chosen the long ones with the buttons, but she wears the short ones that are easier to remove. These are a delicate shade, but the lady I bought them from showed me the pair she had been wearing for the past three weeks and they were hardly soiled. I had her try yours on for me and she looked really smart. I wish I was there to put them on you for the first time, as no doubt other hands will come into contact with them before I have a chance to see you again. When you take them off, remember to blow in them before putting them away as they will naturally be a little damp from wearing. Just think how many times I will kiss them in the coming year. I hope you will wear them for me on Friday night.? All my love.
P.S. ?The latest style is to wear them folded down with a little fur showing.?
330
General Scroll Saw Talk / EX 16 vibration
« on: January 30, 2012, 11:48:00 am »
I had another phone call from Axminster power tools, they think they have found the vibration problem with the EX saws over here, they have now got one set up on a bench running at max speed with a glass of water sitting on its table, with just a few slight rings forming on top of the water. they are having mine back this wednesday to completely check it out and set it up this should cure all my vibration probs.(I hope lol) But it was nice to get a call from them to say they were going to fix it and not me having to phone them to ask when they were going to fix it. Good service from Axminster once again, I can't fault the customer service there.
