241
Brag Forum / Wine Bottle Holder
« on: October 11, 2012, 04:49:50 pm »
Here is a wine bottle holder , I got the pattern from a SSW&C magazine. All comments and criticisms welcome.
News: Had a couple issues with the forum today. 1/19/2017. I believe I have them corrected now. Let me know if you have any trouble. Thanks.
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243
The Coffee Shop / With age comes wisdom
« on: October 06, 2012, 02:46:12 pm »
A guy is in his 70's and loves to fish.
He was sitting in his boat the other day when he heard a voice say,
'Pick me up.'
He looked around and couldn't see anyone.
He thought he was dreaming when he heard the voice say
again,'Pick me up.'
He looked in the water and there, floating on the top, was a frog.
The man said, 'Are you talking to me?'
The frog said, 'Yes, I'm talking to you. Pick me up, then kiss me;
and I'll turn into the most beautiful woman you have ever seen.
I'll make sure that all your friends are envious and jealous, because
I will be your bride!'
The man looked at the frog for a short time, reached over, picked
it up carefully and placed it in his shirt pocket.
The frog said, 'What, are you nuts? Didn't you hear what I said?
I said, "Kiss me, and I will be your beautiful bride."'
He opened his pocket, looked at the frog and said,
'Nah. At my age, I'd rather have a talking frog.'
With age comes wisdom.
He was sitting in his boat the other day when he heard a voice say,
'Pick me up.'
He looked around and couldn't see anyone.
He thought he was dreaming when he heard the voice say
again,'Pick me up.'
He looked in the water and there, floating on the top, was a frog.
The man said, 'Are you talking to me?'
The frog said, 'Yes, I'm talking to you. Pick me up, then kiss me;
and I'll turn into the most beautiful woman you have ever seen.
I'll make sure that all your friends are envious and jealous, because
I will be your bride!'
The man looked at the frog for a short time, reached over, picked
it up carefully and placed it in his shirt pocket.
The frog said, 'What, are you nuts? Didn't you hear what I said?
I said, "Kiss me, and I will be your beautiful bride."'
He opened his pocket, looked at the frog and said,
'Nah. At my age, I'd rather have a talking frog.'
With age comes wisdom.
244
The Coffee Shop / SENIORS & COMPUTERS...........
« on: October 06, 2012, 02:39:55 pm »As we SilverSurfers know, sometimes we have trouble with our computers.
I had a problem yesterday, so I called Eric, the 11 year old next door, whose bedroom looks like Mission Control and asked him to come over.
Eric clicked a couple of buttons and solved the problem.
As he was walking away, I called after him, 'So, what was wrong?
He replied, 'It was an ID ten T error.'
I didn't want to appear stupid, but nonetheless inquired,
'An, ID ten T error? What's that? In case I need to fix it again.'
Eric grinned ...'Haven't you ever heard of an ID ten T error before?
'No,' I replied.
'Write it down,' he said, 'and I think you'll figure it out.'
So I wrote down:
ID10T
I used to like Eric!!!!
245
Pattern Requests. / Mum's embroidery
« on: September 29, 2012, 03:47:40 pm »
Before mum passed away she loved doing embroidery, recently dad found one she had finished and hidden away. I know, looking at it, it's not far off being a pattern as it is. But I was wondering if any of our fantastic pattern makers could make it into a proper pattern as I would like to make it for dad's Christmas suprise. Thanks in advance
Keith
Keith
246
The Coffee Shop / The Divorce
« on: September 25, 2012, 01:41:54 pm »
She spent the first day packing her belongings into boxes, crates and suitcases.
On the second day, she had the movers come and collect her things.
On the third day, she sat down for the last time at their beautiful dining room table by candlelight, put on some soft background music, and feasted on a
pound of shrimp, a jar of caviar, and a bottle of Chardonnay.
When she had finished, she went into each and every room and deposited a few half-eaten shrimp shells, dipped in caviar, into the hollow of the curtain rods.
She then cleaned up the kitchen and left.
When the husband returned with his new girlfriend, all was bliss for the first few days. Then slowly, the house began to smell. They tried everything; cleaning
and mopping and airing the place out. Vents were checked for dead rodents, and carpets were steam cleaned. Air fresheners were hung everywhere.
Exterminators were brought in to set off gas canisters, during which they had to move out for a few days, and in the end they even paid to replace the expensive wool carpeting.
Nothing worked. People stopped coming over to visit... Repairmen refused to work in the house...The maid quit... Finally, they could not take the stench any longer and
decided to move.
A month later, even though they had cut their price in half, they could not find a buyer for their stinky house. Word got out, and eventually, even the local Estate Agents refused to return their calls.
Finally, they had to borrow a huge sum of money from the bank to purchase a new place.
The ex-wife called the man, and asked how things were going. He told her the saga of the rotting house. She listened politely, and said that she missed her old home terribly, and would be willing to reduce her divorce settlement in exchange for getting the house back...
Knowing his ex-wife had no idea how bad the smell was he agreed on price that was about 1/10th of what the house had been worth... But only if she were to sign the papers that very day. She agreed, and within the hour, his lawyers delivered the paperwork.
A week later, the man and his new girlfriend stood smirking as they watched the moving company pack everything to take to their new home...
....including the curtain rods
I LOVE A HAPPY ENDING, DON'T YOU?
On the second day, she had the movers come and collect her things.
On the third day, she sat down for the last time at their beautiful dining room table by candlelight, put on some soft background music, and feasted on a
pound of shrimp, a jar of caviar, and a bottle of Chardonnay.
When she had finished, she went into each and every room and deposited a few half-eaten shrimp shells, dipped in caviar, into the hollow of the curtain rods.
She then cleaned up the kitchen and left.
When the husband returned with his new girlfriend, all was bliss for the first few days. Then slowly, the house began to smell. They tried everything; cleaning
and mopping and airing the place out. Vents were checked for dead rodents, and carpets were steam cleaned. Air fresheners were hung everywhere.
Exterminators were brought in to set off gas canisters, during which they had to move out for a few days, and in the end they even paid to replace the expensive wool carpeting.
Nothing worked. People stopped coming over to visit... Repairmen refused to work in the house...The maid quit... Finally, they could not take the stench any longer and
decided to move.
A month later, even though they had cut their price in half, they could not find a buyer for their stinky house. Word got out, and eventually, even the local Estate Agents refused to return their calls.
Finally, they had to borrow a huge sum of money from the bank to purchase a new place.
The ex-wife called the man, and asked how things were going. He told her the saga of the rotting house. She listened politely, and said that she missed her old home terribly, and would be willing to reduce her divorce settlement in exchange for getting the house back...
Knowing his ex-wife had no idea how bad the smell was he agreed on price that was about 1/10th of what the house had been worth... But only if she were to sign the papers that very day. She agreed, and within the hour, his lawyers delivered the paperwork.
A week later, the man and his new girlfriend stood smirking as they watched the moving company pack everything to take to their new home...
....including the curtain rods
I LOVE A HAPPY ENDING, DON'T YOU?
247
Brag Forum / More Christmasy bits done
« on: September 19, 2012, 01:24:13 pm »
Another couple of pieces finished, Thank you Dan (smitty0312) for the sled patterns you sent me, first one (cut as a stack of three) is finished and also a self framing Santa is finished (pattern by Sheila Landry Designs) hope you like them.
248
General Scroll Saw Talk / Warping wood
« on: September 16, 2012, 11:11:10 am »
I have had the same trouble every time I make an 8" x 10" x 3/8" thick blank for portrait work. I have bought kiln dried timber planks that were absolutely flat, then I would resaw them 8" wide and just over 3/8 thick then put them through the thickness planer to bring them down to the 3/8" thickness I want, then finally cur them 10" long. They come out perfect, the right size and flat too. then within an hour or so they have warped so much there is almost a 1/4" gap under the middle when it is laid on a flat surface - this makes it awkwatd to cut patterns as the wood "bounces" where it's not supported in the middle and also it spoils the finished items. It is for this reason I mainly use birch ply for portraits/ pictures etc. I have tried oak, beech, walnut, maple and a few other woods and they all seem to warp. Does anyone know what I'm doing wrong?? I know in the USA you can but these blanks already cut to size (and flat too) but in the UK I have yet to find a supplier that will sell them ready sized and planed. I look forward to hearing what I have been doing wrong
249
Brag Forum / Christmas Tree Decorations
« on: September 12, 2012, 01:44:41 pm »
I've made a start and these are a few of the decorations I have cut so far
251
The Coffee Shop / How quick is your bandsaw??
« on: August 16, 2012, 01:48:16 pm »
How quick can you cut on your bandsaw?? - check this out. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YXW55S4X9zo
252
Brag Forum / School gift
« on: August 06, 2012, 04:18:27 pm »
This is a little elephant puzzle I cut out for the kids at the Pre-School my daughter runs. I think they will like it.
253
Pattern Requests. / Parsons Jack Russell
« on: August 05, 2012, 04:14:48 pm »
Can anyone help with turning this into a pattern for me? I have attatched a blank frame picture and a picture of a Parsons Jack Russell. If possible I would like the jack russell turned into a pattern with just the head and neck put into the frame. I attatched a third picture of a bulldog just to show you the sort of thing I need. Thanks in advance for any help you can give
Keith.
Keith.
254
Brag Forum / Elephant
« on: July 31, 2012, 03:53:20 pm »
My daughter and her family came down to Cornwall for three weeks camping holiday last Saturday. Lauren, my middle grandaughter asked me to make her an elephant picture for her birthday as Hannah had the owl portrait that I posted here earlier in the year. This is what I found and cut for her (took me 2 afternoons to cut it) just got to sand and apply a finish then frame it.
255
Brag Forum / Hummingbird Rocking Chair
« on: July 29, 2012, 09:34:14 am »
Here is my attempt at Steve's Hummingbird Rocking Chair. It's made in Beech and finished with 2 coats of celulose sanding sealer and 2 coats of melomine laquer.
