Topics

211

The Coffee Shop / Walking the dog

« on: May 28, 2011, 02:55:05 pm »

Today's Chuckle!
>
>
>
>
> 'Mom, may I take the dog for a walk around the block?'
>
> Mom replies, 'No, because she is in heat.'
>
> 'What's that mean?' asked the child.
>
> 'Go ask your father. I think he's in the garage.'
>
> The little girl goes to the garage and says, 'Dad, may
> I take Belle for a walk around the block? I asked Mom,
> but she said the dog was in heat, and to come to you.'
>
> Dad said, 'Bring Belle over here.' He took a rag,
> soaked it with gasoline, and scrubbed the dog's
> backside with it to disguise the scent, and said 'OK,
> you can go now, but keep Belle on the leash and only go
> one time round the block.'
>
> The little girl left and returned a few minutes later
> with no dog on the leash. Surprised, Dad asked,
> 'Where's Belle?'
>
> (YOU'RE GONNA LOVE THIS!!!!!!!! ! )
>
> The little girl said, 'She ran out of gas about halfway
> down the block, so another dog is pushing her home.'

212

The Coffee Shop / Catholic Horses

« on: May 28, 2011, 01:53:58 pm »

One day while he was at the track playing the ponies and all but losing his shirt, Mitch noticed a priest who stepped out onto the track and blessed the forehead of one of the horses lining up for the 4th race.

Lo and behold, that horse - a very long shot - won the race..
 
 
 


Before the next race, as the horses began lining up, Mitch watched with interest the old priest step onto the track Sure enough, as the 5th race horses came to the starting gate the priest made a blessing on the forehead of one of the horses.

Mitch made a beeline for a betting window and placed a small bet on the horse. Again, even though it was another long shot, the horse the priest had blessed won the race.

Mitch collected his winnings, and anxiously waited to see which horse the priest would bless for the 6th race. The priest again blessed a horse.


Mitch bet big on it, and it won. Mitch was elated.. As the races continued the priest kept blessing long shot horses, and each one ended up coming in first.

By and by, Mitch was pulling in some serious money. By the last race, he knew his wildest dreams were going to come true. He made a quick dash to the ATM, withdrew all his savings, and awaited the priest's blessing that would tell him which horse to bet on.

True to his pattern, the priest stepped onto the track for the last race and blessed the forehead of an old nag that was the longest shot of the day.

Mitch also observed the priest blessing the eyes, ears, and hooves of the old nag. Mitch knew he had a winner and bet every cent he owned on the old nag.



He then watched dumbfounded as the old nag come in dead last. Mitch, in a state of shock, made his way down to the track area where the priest was..

Confronting the old priest he demanded, 'Father! What happened?

All day long you blessed horses and they all won. Then in the last race, the horse you blessed lost by a Kentucky mile. Now, thanks to you I've lost every cent of my savings -- all of it!'.

The priest nodded wisely and with sympathy.

 

'Son,' he said, 'that's the problem with you Protestants, you can't tell the difference between a simple blessing and last rites.'

 

 

213

The Coffee Shop / Wild Ride!

« on: May 28, 2011, 01:46:23 pm »

Thrill seekers and outdoors buffs should enjoy this.
Yeah I'm on the PC raining and cold today, hope it warms up after lunch.
Enjoy the video.   http://www.shotoverjet.com/the-video
Gabby

214

The Coffee Shop / Irish Blond

« on: May 28, 2011, 02:08:41 am »

Just for GB  

An IRISH BLONDE GOES INTO A CASINO


An attractive blonde from Cork , Ireland arrived at the casino. She seemed a little intoxicated and bet twenty-thousand Euros on a single roll of the dice.

She said, 'I hope you don't mind, but I feel much luckier when I'm completely nude'.

With that, she stripped from the neck down, rolled the dice and with an Irish brogue yelled, 'Come on, baby, Mama needs new clothes!'

As the dice came to a stop, she jumped up and down and squealed...'YES! YES!

I WON, I WON!'

She hugged each of the dealers and then picked up her winnings and her clothes and quickly departed.

The dealers stared at each other dumbfounded. Finally, one of them asked, 'What did she roll?'

The other answered, 'I don't know - I thought you were watching.'

MORAL OF THE STORY -

Not all Irish are drunks,
Not all blondes are dumb,
But all men...are men.

OK by last count 35 viewers, but not one comment. What a bunch of prudes. Or maybe chickens. 

215

General Scroll Saw Talk / kencraft plywood good or bad?

« on: May 27, 2011, 02:25:55 am »

Has anyone had experience with this company and their products. Their price for Baltic birch sounds good.

http://www.kencraftstore.com/ply3.htm#baltic

Gabby

216

The Coffee Shop / Steve's paint mixer / what the heck is it?

« on: May 26, 2011, 03:00:46 pm »

Steve I just watched you paint mixer gizmo, and I'm still grinning and chuckling. Pretty neat idea, they say necesity is the mother of invention, I've always contended it was the lazy ones who came up with things to make work easier. You have just proven me wrong. It's pain that is the spur to improvise, Who knows some day my elbow may give out.
BTW I seldom shake a can for more than a minute, just too lazy and the paint gets of the job any how. LOL
Gabby

217

The Coffee Shop / Gabby's a piker.

« on: May 26, 2011, 01:55:46 am »

Interesting reading, go to Home Page, then scroll down to the bottom and click on "more stats".
There's a whole bunch even gabbier than me. And that's saying something.LOL
I didn't even get honorable mention. 
Enjoy,
Gabby

218

The Coffee Shop / commentary

« on: May 25, 2011, 01:55:36 am »

Rather pithy comments regarding US actions from one of our cousins across the pond.

http://www.therightscoop.com:80/pat-condell-justice-for-obama/

Gabby

219

Tutorials, Techniques and Tips / Arched or circular Script

« on: May 15, 2011, 05:11:36 pm »

Does anyone know how to create arched or circular script and what program makes it possible?
I'm working in Windows XP Home edition. I think i've seen it done using Office but I'm not sure.
Thanks for any help.
Gabby

220

The Coffee Shop / Trying again

« on: May 13, 2011, 02:20:05 am »

I'm including a link to a vetrans memorial it's worth a look.
Gabby

http://media.causes.com/1060527?p_id=175378540

221

The Coffee Shop / Posting problem

« on: May 12, 2011, 08:40:07 pm »

I have tried to post a message with a link to a video on the internet, but when I hit the post button nothing happens.
Is there a block on messages with links?
Gabby

222

Pattern Requests. / A thank you to Grampa

« on: May 09, 2011, 01:21:15 am »

I just wanted to thank Paul for the cool pattern he came up with for me.
Our neighbors youngest daughter is getting married and she has always collected Moose of all kinds, so I thought this would be fitting. A little humor too. I'm going to be pressed to get it cut on time. Keep your fingers crossed for me. It measures 18" Diameter. I'm having fun fitting it into my 16" saw.
Thanks again Paul I'll post a photo in brags when it's done.
Gabby

223

Tutorials, Techniques and Tips / Reversing blades question

« on: May 07, 2011, 01:01:59 am »

Do any of you ever reverse your blade so that it cuts as you pull the wood toward yourself, just the opposite of pushing into the blade?
Reason I'm asking is, if the pattern you are cutting is too large to fit in the throat of the saw and cut in the normal way without reverting to a spiral blade.
Any pros or cons?
Gabby

224

The Coffee Shop / Wow Now I'm a Hero.

« on: May 04, 2011, 09:35:12 pm »

Where is my cape and mask? Especially the mask. LOL
Gabby

225

The Coffee Shop / Parts supplier A-OK

« on: April 28, 2011, 07:45:50 pm »

Just ordered and received the lower blade clamp parts for my Delta 40-540. I have to say I was impressed with the personalised service I received from eReplacementParts.comI did have to wait for special order parts, but as soon as they got them in they shipped and notified me. It was a real person too no auto responder.
The old clamp kept slipping and letting the blade pop out with a bang that scared the cccp out of me, so far no more problems. I tried roughening the old one to improve grip to no avail no matter how tight I made it. Just too worn.
No I have no affiliation with that company. Just a happy customer and thought I'd pass it along just as I would have if it had gone the other way.
Gabby