Topics

196

The Coffee Shop / A Round of Golf

« on: August 08, 2011, 09:34:38 pm »

A foursome is about to tee off at the local golf course when a funeral goes by. One of the men takes off his hat and bows his head till the procession is past. His buddies comment about what a nice gesture he had made to the deceased and he stated "It's the least i could do we were married for 50 years"     

197

The Coffee Shop / "Batman????"

« on: August 03, 2011, 09:20:33 am »

At the end of the night a drunk Marine leaves a bar. Outside he sees a nun. He walks over to her and slaps her in the face. Then he punches her in the stomach and knocks her over. He proceeds to kick her several times and when he's done he bends down to her and says, "Not as tough as a Marine, are you "Batman?"         LMAO

198

The Coffee Shop / Thanks Guys.

« on: August 02, 2011, 10:21:12 pm »

‎5000 years ago, Moses said to Israel, "Pick up your shovels, mount your a$$es and camels, and I will lead you to the Promised Land." When Welfare was introduced, Roosevelt said, "Lay down your shovels, sit on your a$$es, and light up a Camel, this is the Promised Land." Now the government has stolen your shovel, taxed your a$$es, raised the price of Camels and mortgaged the Promised Land to China! Thanks to our Government we are really doing great.      

199

The Coffee Shop / Semper Fi

« on: July 17, 2011, 05:31:10 pm »

Today my son Cory will take a very big step along the path of life. He leaves today to become a Marine in the USMC. I am so very proud of my son, words cannot describe the way I feel inside.

It is going to be rough for me at first, we have never been apart and are very close. My fishing buddy, I coached him in baseball and football, Boy Scouts, you name it we have done it. It has been fun and a pleasure to watch him grow up to be a man.

And now he goes to serve, protect us and our great nation.

I Love you Son.     

200

The Coffee Shop / A Guy Walks Into A Bar

« on: July 15, 2011, 09:48:21 am »

and asks the bartender if he'll give him a free beer for an amazing trick. The bartender agrees. The guy pulls out a hamster that begins dancing and singing.

"That is amazing!" says the bartender and gives him a beer.

"If I show you something else, will you give me another beer?" The bartender agrees.

The guy pulls out a small piano and a frog. The same hamster plays the piano while the frog dances and sings.

The bartender, completely wowed, gives him another beer.

A man in a suit, who's been watching the entire time, offers to buy the frog for a large sum, and the man agrees.

"Are you nuts?" asks the bartender. "You could've made a fortune off that frog."

"Can you keep a secret?" asks the man. "The hamster's a ventriloquist."     

201

The Coffee Shop / In Loving Memory

« on: June 30, 2011, 02:49:03 pm »

In Loving Memory of my Sister Frankie Claridy Bishop ~ July 23,1928 - June 24,2011. It saddens me that where unable to spend more time together thru the years. One day we will be able to sit down together, along that beautiful winding river, talk about all the time we missed together and time won't even matter.  

202

The Coffee Shop / New: 06/13/2011 Update on Judy Hunter!!!!!

« on: June 13, 2011, 09:24:29 pm »

FYI:
I just got off the phone with Judy. She sounded wonderfull, a perk in her voice and is ready to get home and start sawing and posting. I ask her if she knew who it was calling.

When I told her Russ, she was amazed that I would call.

She also said to tell everyone how much all the cards and our concern from the forum meant to her. I think we really have made a difference. I kept our conversation short but by all indications she could not believe how we much we cared and told me to tell the forum how much it meant to her, she missed posting and vowed she would catch up.

I am amazed how this forum continues to reach out and touch our members lives throughout the world.

It really makes me proud to be a member and have so many wonderful friends.

Thanks everyone for all you do.

Russ

203

The Coffee Shop / First Baseball Game!

« on: June 09, 2011, 07:58:05 am »

Three elderly ladies are excited about seeing their first baseball game.
 
They smuggle a bottle of Jack Daniels into the ball park. The game is really exciting and they are enjoying themselves immensely...mixing the Jack Daniel's with soft drinks.
 
Soon they realize that the bottle is almost gone and the game has a lot of innings to go.
 
Based on the given information, what inning is it and how many players are on base?
 






Think!
 










Think some more!!
 
***
 
Answer: It's the bottom of the fifth, and the bags are loaded!

LMAO     

204

The Coffee Shop / Wife's Doctor Visit !

« on: June 09, 2011, 07:49:56 am »

During a visit with my wife Nancy to her doctor, She asked him, "How do you determine whether or not an older person should be put in an old age home?"

"Well," he said, "we fill up a bathtub, then we offer a teaspoon, a teacup and a bucket to the person to empty the bathtub."

"Oh, I understand," Nancy said.  "A normal person would use the bucket because it?s bigger than the spoon or the teacup."

"No" he said.  "A normal person would pull the plug.  Do you want a bed near the window?"

I'm gonna miss her.  LMAO     

205

The Coffee Shop / Finally The Last Graduation Day!

« on: June 07, 2011, 04:44:05 pm »

Today the last two, our son's graduate from high school. So congratulations to Cory and Cody. So that is a total of seven that we have had graduate from the same school. I told the principle my wife and I deserved an award of some sort.

The ceremony is tonight so I will be gone for awhile. I hope everyone behaves.  

206

The Coffee Shop / Alligator Alert

« on: June 02, 2011, 07:36:53 am »

The Florida Fish and Wildlife Conservation Commission is advising hikers, hunters, fishers, and golfers to take extra precautions and keep alert for alligators while in Osceola, Polk, Brevard and Orange Counties. They advise people to wear noise-producing devices; such as, little bells on their clothing, to alert, but not startle, the alligators unexpectedly.
 They also advise the carrying of pepper spray in case of an encounter with an alligator. It is also a good idea to watch for fresh signs of alligator activity.

 People should recognize the difference between small young alligator and large adult alligator droppings.

 Young alligator droppings are smaller and contain fish bones and possibly bird feathers.

 Adult alligators droppings have little bells in them and smell like pepper spray.

    

207

The Coffee Shop / Breaking News - USA releases photo of OBL.

« on: May 05, 2011, 01:57:19 pm »

Pentagon officials just released a photo of Osama Bin Laden's burial at sea. 

208

The Coffee Shop / Congratulations to my Son Cory.

« on: May 04, 2011, 04:32:44 pm »

Congratulations to My Son Cory Claridy, and the Mulberry Senior High School PTN for taking first place in the Short Film Category, Polk County Video Awards 2011.
A very proud Father.      


Polk County Video Awards 2011

209

The Coffee Shop / Your Have Got To Be Kidding Me !!!

« on: May 02, 2011, 03:00:44 pm »

Ok we got Bin Laden! Now Donald Trump is asking President Obama for Bin Laden's long form death certificate...   LMAO

210

The Coffee Shop / 1 Corinthians 15:4

« on: April 24, 2011, 08:00:05 am »

And that he was buried, and that he rose again the third day according to the scriptures:

Happy Easter to all my friends/family here on the forum. May his blessing continue to pour out on us through the rest of the year.