Topics

181

The Coffee Shop / Rabbit

« on: March 23, 2012, 07:21:09 pm »

A man is standing beside his car on a lonely stretch of the highway. A lady passes by and decides to stop to see if she could help. The conversation goes like this:
Woman, " Is there a problem"?
Man, " Yes , I was driving along and this rabbit runs across on front of me and I could help but hit it," he looks down at the rabbit on the side of the road, " I think is it dead".
The woman gets a closer look and says, " Just a minute" she runs back to her car, returns with a spray can and sprays the rabbit all over. To the mans surprise the rabbit jumps up and runs down the road. After running about 20 feet the rabbit turns and waves, he runs another 20 feet and turns and waves again. This continues until the rabbit is out of sight.
The man says," That is amazing, what was that stuff"?
The woman hands him the tin. The label on the can said, Hair Spray, revitalizes dead hair and adds permanent wave. 
Did I put a smile on your face

182

The Coffee Shop / another one

« on: March 22, 2012, 01:28:59 pm »

I don't know if this works in written form.


Spell  "shop"
What do you do when you come to a green light?


Think about your answer.  

183

The Coffee Shop / IQ test

« on: March 22, 2012, 01:16:59 pm »

Think of the name of a country that begins with the letter "D"
Take the last letter of the country and think of an animal that begins with the same letter.
Take the last letter of that animal and think of a fruit that begins with the same letter.





Now I will make a statement:
Kangaroos eat Oranges in Denmark
If I got your three words then you are part of 95% of the population that would also pick these words.

184

The Coffee Shop / The fastest thing in the world!

« on: March 18, 2012, 06:33:15 pm »

One time four friends got into a discussion about what was the fastest thing in the world.
Friend one, " The fastest thing in the world is a "thought," it is instantaneous, it happens so fast you don't have time to think about it, it is just there in your head".

Friend two, " No,no, the fastest thing in the world is a "blink". It just happens and you don't even have to think of doing it.

Friend 3, "NO, NO, he shouts, the fastest thing in the world is electricity. You flip a switch and the light is on immediately, that is the fastest thing in the world!"

The fourth friend, who happened to be a Newfie said, " your all wrong. The fastest thing in the world is diarrhea.

All the other friends looked at each other and one said, "And how do you figure that diarreah is the fastest thing in the world."

Well, the Newfie said, The other night I awoke with a cramp in my stomach and before I could "think", "Blink", or "Flick on the light", I had it done in my pants.

Now you know, Have a good day everyone,

185

Brag Forum / Memory box

« on: March 18, 2012, 09:06:58 am »

This is a version of Steve's wedding box, featured last year on his blog. I modified it to make a memory box for my wife for her birthday. It is made of Oak and Padruk, it is finished with two coats of tung oil. There is no metal or glue on this piece, remove the wooden pins at the sides and it comes apart. Thanks Ms N for the monogram on the front. The roses on top are from a pattern out of a SSWC magazine. She was very pleased

186

Pattern Requests. / Need some help

« on: March 17, 2012, 10:51:41 am »

For my next intarsia piece I want to do something for my son who works in the oil patch in Fort McMurray , Alberta. His birthday is in May.  I have searched the web and found pictures of these heavy haulers. He talks about these all the time. They are hugh . I would like also to have "Fort McM" incorporated somewhere into the piece. Is there anyone out there who would like to put together a pattern for me?  Your help will be greatly appreciated.  I got the pictures from the public domain so copyright should not be an issue. Also the piece is a gift.  Thanks

187

The Coffee Shop / doing the laundry

« on: March 16, 2012, 08:40:08 am »

A traditional couple used to refer to having sex as 'Doing the laundry"
One night the husband turns to his wife and asks, " are we able to do the laundry tonight"?
She responds, " not tonight, I have a terrible headache".
So they turn back to back and go to sleep.
Some time later the wife feeling bad that she declined the offer turns to her husband and says
" We can do the laundry now".
Her husband responds by saying, " that is all right, I only had a small load so I did it by hand".

188

The Coffee Shop / Some pig

« on: March 13, 2012, 07:07:44 pm »

A man was visiting a friend he had not seen for a very long time. While there he noticed his friend had a pet pig with a wooden leg. During conversation he asked his friend about the pig. and the conversation goes like this.

Visitor, "What happened to your pig".

Friend says "This is a very special pig. You know last year as I was getting into my car that pig began running around the car making all kinds of noises  and squealing as loud a a pig can. I got out and checked it out and found my baby boy right behind the car. The pig saved his life."

Visitor, " But what happened to his leg?"

Friend, " Another time, in the middle of the night,  the pig began running around the house, squealing and grunting, he made so much noise that he got everyone up. Good thing too because the house was on fire. What a pig, he saved us all.

Visitor, "Well that is some pig for sure, but what happened to his leg."

Friend, " You know with a great a pig like, you wouldn't want to eat it all the one time"

189

The Coffee Shop / Down

« on: March 13, 2012, 10:36:24 am »

This is my 3rd day down with a pinched nerve. Has anyone else suffered this and when will it end?

190

The Coffee Shop / pie or pi

« on: March 08, 2012, 07:16:21 pm »

The math dept at our school asked me if I sould make PI. So I made them PI. Lots of PI. March 14 is "PI day" and we will be celebrating with the Pilimpics. These will be their medals for the events.  It is also my wife's birthday, so I will make her "PI" as well. I will post a  picture when it is done. 

191

The Coffee Shop / My contribution to your day

« on: March 05, 2012, 03:54:15 pm »

I don't know WHY I didn't figure this out sooner!
 
I use shampoo in the shower!
 
When I wash my hair, the shampoo runs down my whole body, and
 Printed very clearly on the shampoo label is this warning,
 "FOR EXTRA VOLUME AND BODY."
 No wonder I have been gaining weight!
 Well! I have gotten rid of that shampoo and
 
I am going to start showering with Dawn dish soap instead it's label
 reads,
 "DISSOLVES FAT THAT IS OTHERWISE DIFFICULT TO REMOVE."
 
Problem solved!
 
If I don't answer the phone
 
I'll be in the shower...


Have a great day

192

Intarsia / My latest intarsia piece

« on: March 05, 2012, 11:05:58 am »

I thought I had posted a picture of this piece but cannot find it in the older posts. Any way here it is. It was a gift to my self, looking forward to retirement in two years. I still think I have already posted it   .

193

General Scroll Saw Talk / Spoiled

« on: February 22, 2012, 09:28:14 pm »

I got my new EX21 for Christmas and now I am spoiled. There is NO noise, NO vibration, and the only time I replaced a blade was when it could NOT cut any more. What a saw.  The old saw was loud, vibrated badly and would break blades constantly. SO I am spoiled ,     but lov-en it.    Now how ofter should I oil my new saw? and any other tips would be good.      Happy cuttin everyone.

194

General Scroll Saw Talk / Baltic Birch

« on: February 15, 2012, 07:54:02 am »

It seems that most people prefer to use the BB plywood to do their fretwork. I have checked with all the supply stores and cabnet shops within a 100 mile radius of where I live and no-one deals with the stuff, some cabnet makers didn't know what I was talking about.  The best plywood I have seen for sale is 3 ply. To bring it in from  the States will have the additional duty cost added at the border. Does anyone know of a Canadian supplier that I could contact?  I have been using 1/4 oak or birch panel but I find it very delicate to use. Now that I have the best saw (EX21) I guess it is only natural to want the best material to work with.

195

Pattern Requests. / need help

« on: January 10, 2012, 04:09:04 pm »

I am making Steve's wedding card box. My plan is to make it a little bigger and give it to my wife as a birthday gift in March. She collects and saves any special cards we receive as well as any family related articles, etc. it will be a keep sake box on sorts and will no doubt become a family heirloom. Materials cost me about $160.00  (that's just the wood). Her initials are MAJD. I have tried to create a monogram of the letters to put on the front but I am not very talented that way . I am wondering if any of you fine people could have a crack at it for me .
Thanks