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Topics - GrayBeard

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1531
Ask Steve a question. / Message I just had Pop Up!
« on: August 05, 2010, 12:12:02 pm »
I just had this message pop up in the screen....

Connection Problems

Sorry, SMF was unable to connect to the database. This may be caused by the server being busy. Please try again later.


Might be an indicator of the 'speed' problem.

~~~GrayBeard~~~

1532
The Coffee Shop / Image Shack vs. PhotoBucket???
« on: August 05, 2010, 11:02:41 am »
Anybody tried both?

Comments???

I have a lot of photos (in general) I want to put up and want input as to what site handles things the best.

Is it really necessary to go with the "Paid" version of any site?

~~~GB~~~

1533
The Coffee Shop / RE: "It's HOT"!
« on: August 05, 2010, 10:43:52 am »
I just got a reminder from a friend....

Photo of a billboard from a few years back...

Picture of a 'burning' desert

Caption:

You think it is HOT Here?........

signed "GOD"

~~~GB~~~

1534
The Coffee Shop / RE: The Blind Man in the Store...GB's Commentary.....
« on: August 05, 2010, 10:13:20 am »
If you were in any way offended by that anecdote I urge you to read this!

Background...
I spent 16 years as a 'reader' for a radio station that broadcast on a FM frequency accessible only by specific radios which were supplied to blind and other 'print handicapped' individuals, i.e, Cerebral Palsy, Stroke patients, etc.
Every Tuesday and Friday evening my time slot was the "Daily Post-Dispatch" local newspaper (7:00 to 9:00 p.m.) wherein we read the newspaper articles, editorials, sports, obituaries, gossip columns, etc. No editorializing or commentary just straight read the news.
Other programs involved reading magazines, newspaper 'ad' sections, books, special guest interviews, etc.
After the "newspaper" slot was a call-in segment "Talk Back" which was on from 9:00 to 11:00 (sign off). Often I was asked by the station manager, a blind man, to stay over and sit in for "Talk Back". This was a wide open segment where no subject was taboo and some of my fondest memories and funniest situations occurred while 'talking' with the listeners live on-the-air. Many of the listeners became my personal friends over the years.
That period of my life was probably the most personally fulfilling and educational.
You have to really spend time with others to understand them and if you have never spent time and really gotten to know 'handicapped' people you will never know how wonderful and really "normal" they are because you have never seen life from their viewpoint.
Those who have accepted their handicaps and learned to live to THEIR potential are not at all self conscious or defensive.
Case in point...when taking leave of you almost to a person they would all say, Hey, see ya later!". I kept pondering this phenomena and finally one night I brought it up on the air. The switchboard lit up like the proverbial Christmas tree and the consensus was "We see you in our own way"!
The greatest lesson I learned from my blind friends was that they are blind but not stupid or helpless. They know when to ask for help and are not afraid to ask!
So for the rest of my life I have adopted their basic concept...If we need help we will ask you and don't be afraid or ashamed to tell us you don't know how to help! Ask us what we need and we will gladly and pleasantly tell you.
If you see a blind person at an intersection the first thought is "I'll take them by the arm and help them." WRONG! Ask them if THEY would like your assistance and how can you help.

And believe it ...they can be hilarious even about their situations!

~~~GrayBeard~~~

1535
The Coffee Shop / Johnny comes home from school.....
« on: August 04, 2010, 04:30:38 pm »
Mother: What did you learn in school today

Son: How to write

Mother: What did you write?

Son: I don't know, they haven't taught us how to read yet!

<rimshot>

~~~GB~~~ {the heat has gotten to my memory bank!}

1536
The Coffee Shop / Knights!
« on: August 04, 2010, 04:28:18 pm »
In medieval time the knights were know to 'slay dragons'.

Where did they learn this useful skill?




At KNIGHT school! of course!

~~~GB~~~

1537
The Coffee Shop / Blind man in the Store....
« on: August 04, 2010, 04:19:26 pm »
A blind man in a store

A blind man walks into a store with his seeing eye dog.
All of a sudden, he picks up the leash and begins swinging the dog over his head.
The manager runs up to the man and asks, "What are you doing?!!"
The blind man replies, "Just looking around."

Before you all get your knickers in a knot, This and many others were told to me by the blind manager of the radio station where I used to volunteer as a reader for the blind!

~~~GB~~~

1538
The Coffee Shop / It is HOT!!!!
« on: August 03, 2010, 11:31:07 pm »
St. Peters/St. Louis, MO. USA
10:00 p.m. Temp. = 92 deg.
                Humidity = 70%

Hi today 102 degrees and expected to be the same or higher on Wednesday!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The birds are using potholders to pull worms out of the ground.
 
The trees are whistling for the dogs.
 
The best parking place is determined by shade instead of distance.
 
Hot water now comes out of both taps.
 
You can make sun tea instantly.
 
You learn that a seat belt buckle makes a pretty good branding iron.
 
The temperature drops below 95 F (35 C) and you feel a little chilly.
 
You discover that it only takes 2 fingers to steer your car.
 
You discover that you can get sunburned through your car window.
 
You actually burn your hand opening the car door.
 
You break into a sweat the instant you step outside at 7:30 in the morning.
 
Your biggest bicycle wreck fear is "What if I get knocked out & end up lying on the pavement & cook to death?"
 
You realize that asphalt has a liquid state.
 
The potatoes cook underground so all you have to do is pull one out & add butter, salt and pepper.
 
Farmers are feeding their chickens crushed ice to keep them from laying boiled eggs.
 
The cows are giving evaporated milk.

~~~GrayBeard~~~

1539
The Coffee Shop / The $2.99 Special!
« on: August 03, 2010, 08:19:24 am »
We went to breakfast at a restaurant where the 'seniors' special' was two eggs, bacon, hash browns and toast for $2.99.

'Sounds good,' my wife said. 'But I don't want the eggs.'

'Then, I'll have to charge you three dollars and forty-nine cents because you're ordering a la carte,' the waitress warned her.

'You mean I'd have to pay for not taking the eggs?' my wife asked incredulously.   

'YES!!' stated the waitress.

'I'll take the special then,' my wife said.

'How do you want your eggs?' the waitress asked.

'Raw and in the shell,' my wife replied. She took the two eggs home and baked a cake.
       
  DON'T MESS WITH SENIORS!!!
  WE'VE been  around the block more than once!

1540
The Coffee Shop / The "Black Bra" ..... <PG>
« on: August 03, 2010, 08:15:52 am »
The Black Bra (as told by a woman)

I had lunch with 2 of my unmarried friends.
One is engaged, one is a mistress, and I have been married for 20+ years.

We were chatting about our relationships and decided to amaze our men by greeting them at the door wearing a black bra, stiletto heels and a mask over our eyes. We agreed to meet in a few days to exchange notes.

Here's how it all went.

My engaged friend:
The other night when my boyfriend came over he found me with a black leather bodice, tall stilettos and a mask.
He saw me and said, 'You are the woman of my dreams. I love you.'

Then we made passionate love all night long.

The mistress:
Me too! The other night I met my lover at his office. I was wearing a raincoat, under it only the black bra, heels and mask over my eyes.
When I opened the raincoat he didn't say a word, but he started to tremble and we had wild sex all night.

Then I had to share my story:
When my husband came home I was wearing the black bra, black stockings, stilettos and a mask over my eyes.
When he came in the door and saw me he said, ?


"WHATS FOR SUPPER, ZORRO?"

1541
General Scroll Saw Talk / Rockler...Magnifier/light, LED!
« on: August 01, 2010, 10:51:43 am »
Got an email flyer from Rockler for 20% off one item and was looking at their fancy magnifier/light.
Even with 20% off and free shipping it is $48!!!

Anybody out there use this light? Comments?

~~~GB~~~

1542
The Coffee Shop / Caution..."SOBERING!"
« on: July 31, 2010, 02:11:02 pm »
Our friends from 'Down Under' may have already seen this.

We ALL need to watch and heed this message!

~~~GrayBeard~~~

http://wimp.com/antispeeding/   a PSA from Australia.

1543
The Coffee Shop / Tee Time!
« on: July 31, 2010, 01:06:11 pm »
A  man and his wife walked into a dentist's  office.

The man said to  the dentist, "Doc, I'm in one heck of a hurry. I have two
Buddies sitting  out in my car waiting for us to go play golf, so forget
About the  anesthetic, I don't have time for the gums to get numb. I just
Want you to  pull the tooth, and be done with it!  We have a 10:00 AM  tee  Time
at  the best golf  course in  town and it's 9:30 already... I don't have
time to wait for the anesthetic  to work!'

The dentist  thought to himself, "My goodness, this is surely a very brave
man asking  to have his tooth pulled without using anything to kill the
pain."

So the dentist  asks him, "Which tooth is it  sir?"



The man turned  to his wife and said,
"Open your mouth Honey, and show him."

1544
The Coffee Shop / Dogs not Allowed!
« on: July 31, 2010, 02:04:13 am »
No dogs allowed here

A man goes to a bar with his dog. He goes up to the bar and asks for a drink. The bartender says "You can't bring that dog in here!" The guy, without missing a beat, says "This is my seeing-eye dog." "Oh man, " the bartender says, "I'm sorry, here, the first one's on me." The man takes his drink and goes to a table near the door.

Another guy walks in the bar with a Chihuahua. The first guys sees him, stops him and says "You can't bring that dog in here unless you tell him it's a seeing-eye dog." The second man graciously thanks the first man and continues to the bar. He asks for a drink. The bartender says "Hey, you can't bring that dog in here!"

The second man replies "This is my seeing-eye dog." The bartender says, "No, I don't think so. They do not have Chiwauas as seeing-eye dogs." The man pauses for a half-second and replies
"What?!?! They gave me a Chihuahua?!?"

~~~GB~~~

1545
The Coffee Shop / Travel Problem....
« on: July 30, 2010, 06:56:09 pm »

Where is this place?

A man and his wife were driving their Recreational Vehicle across the country and were nearing a town spelled Kissimee. They noted the strange spelling and tried to figure how to pronounce it - KISS-a-me; kis-A-me; kis-a-ME. They grew more perplexed as they drove into the town.

Since they were hungry, they pulled into a place to get something to eat. At the counter, the man said to the waitress:

"My wife and I can't seem to be able to figure out how to pronounce this place. Will you tell me where we are and say it very slowly so that I can understand."

The waitress looked at him and said: "Buuurrrgerrr Kiiiinnnng."

~~~GB~~~

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