1501
News: Had a couple issues with the forum today. 1/19/2017. I believe I have them corrected now. Let me know if you have any trouble. Thanks.
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1503
The Coffee Shop / Why Sharks circle before attacking!
« on: August 21, 2010, 10:33:14 am »
Why Sharks Circle You Before Attacking
Two great white sharks swimming in the ocean spied survivors of a sunken ship.
"Follow me, Son" the father shark said to the son shark and they swam to the
mass of people.
"First, we swim around them a few times with just the tip of our fins showing." And they did.
"Well done, Son! Now we swim around them a few times with all of our fins
showing." And they did.
"Now we eat everybody." And they did.
When they were both gorged, the son asked, "Dad, why didn't we just eat them
all at first? Why did we swim around and around them?"
His wise father replied, "Because they taste better after they are cleaned out!
Two great white sharks swimming in the ocean spied survivors of a sunken ship.
"Follow me, Son" the father shark said to the son shark and they swam to the
mass of people.
"First, we swim around them a few times with just the tip of our fins showing." And they did.
"Well done, Son! Now we swim around them a few times with all of our fins
showing." And they did.
"Now we eat everybody." And they did.
When they were both gorged, the son asked, "Dad, why didn't we just eat them
all at first? Why did we swim around and around them?"
His wise father replied, "Because they taste better after they are cleaned out!
1504
The Coffee Shop / World's Scariest License Plate!
« on: August 19, 2010, 08:55:08 pm »
I might try to Pass her but I sure wouldn't honk my horn!!!
1505
The Coffee Shop / Senior Commission Meeting...
« on: August 19, 2010, 07:21:40 pm »
went to the monthly meeting today and the Aldermanic representative to the Comm. had on a great tee shirt...
Dark Brown with the following in bright Yellow....
D I L L I G A R A
When I asked the significance his reply...
"Do I Look Like I Give a Rat's A$$"
Dark Brown with the following in bright Yellow....
D I L L I G A R A
When I asked the significance his reply...
"Do I Look Like I Give a Rat's A$$"
1506
The Coffee Shop / Breaking NEWS!
« on: August 19, 2010, 01:37:24 pm »
--------------------
News Alert: Roger Clemens to be indicted for perjury
01:25 PM EDT Thursday, August 19, 2010
--------------------
Roger Clemens will be indicted for making false statements to Congress about using performance-enhancing drugs, according to people familiar with his case.
A federal grand jury has been investigating the former major league pitcher since his testimony before Congress in 2008. An announcement of the indictment could come this afternoon.
For more information, visit washingtonpost.com :
http://link.email.washingtonpost.com/r/LI37JS/ZBBATW/YHLR6C/M6S2AU/P6AG6/28/t
News Alert: Roger Clemens to be indicted for perjury
01:25 PM EDT Thursday, August 19, 2010
--------------------
Roger Clemens will be indicted for making false statements to Congress about using performance-enhancing drugs, according to people familiar with his case.
A federal grand jury has been investigating the former major league pitcher since his testimony before Congress in 2008. An announcement of the indictment could come this afternoon.
For more information, visit washingtonpost.com :
http://link.email.washingtonpost.com/r/LI37JS/ZBBATW/YHLR6C/M6S2AU/P6AG6/28/t
1507
The Coffee Shop / The GIRLFRIENDS.....
« on: August 18, 2010, 05:28:30 pm »A group of 15 year old girlfriends discussed where they should meet for dinner. Finally, it was agreed upon that they should meet at the Dairy Queen next to the Ocean View restaurant because they only had $6.00 between them and Jimmy Johnson, that cute boy in Social Studies, lives on that street and they might see him and they can ride their bikes there.
10 years later, the group of 25 year old girlfriends discussed where they should meet for dinner. Finally, it was agreed upon that they should meet at the Ocean View restaurant because the beer was cheap, they had free snacks, the band was good, there was no cover and there were lots of cute guys.
10 years later, at 35 years of age, the group once again discussed where they should meet for dinner. Finally, it was agreed upon that they should meet at the Ocean View restaurant because the cosmos were good, it was right near the gym and if they go late enough, there wouldn't be too many whiny little kids.
10 years later, at 45 years of age, the group once again discussed where they should meet for dinner. Finally, it was agreed upon that they should meet at the Ocean View restaurant because the martinis were big, and the waiters there had tight pants and nice buns.
10 years later, at 55 years of age, the group once again discussed where they should meet for dinner. Finally it was agreed they should meet at the Ocean View restaurant because the food there was reasonable, the wine list was good, they had windows that open in case of a hot flash, and fish is good for your cholesterol.
10 years later, at 65 years of age, the group once again discussed where they should meet for dinner. Finally it was agreed that they should meet at the Ocean View restaurant because lighting was good and they have an early bird special.
10 years later, at 75 years of age, the group once again discussed where they should meet for dinner. Finally it was agreed that they should meet at the Ocean View restaurant because food was not too spicy, the restaurant was handicapped accessible and they even had an elevator!
10 years later, at 85 years of age, the group once again discussed where they should meet for dinner. Finally it was agreed that they should meet at the Ocean View restaurant because they had never been there before.
~~~GrayBeard~~~
1508
The Coffee Shop / New Wal~Mart Greeter....
« on: August 17, 2010, 10:11:10 am »
Charley, a new retiree-greeter at Wall-Mart, just couldn't seem to get to work on time. Every day he was 5, 10, 15 minutes late.
But he was a good worker, really tidy, clean-shaven, sharp minded and a real credit to the company and obviously demonstrating their "Older Person Friendly" policies.
One day the boss called him into the office for a talk.
"Charlie, I have to tell you, I like your work ethic, you do a bang up job, but your being late so often is quite bothersome."
"Yes, I know boss, and I am working on it."
''Well good, you are a team player. That's what I like to hear. It's odd though your coming in late.
I know you're retired from the Armed Forces. What did they say if you came in late there?"
''They usually said, "Good morning Admiral, can I get your coffee, sir?""
But he was a good worker, really tidy, clean-shaven, sharp minded and a real credit to the company and obviously demonstrating their "Older Person Friendly" policies.
One day the boss called him into the office for a talk.
"Charlie, I have to tell you, I like your work ethic, you do a bang up job, but your being late so often is quite bothersome."
"Yes, I know boss, and I am working on it."
''Well good, you are a team player. That's what I like to hear. It's odd though your coming in late.
I know you're retired from the Armed Forces. What did they say if you came in late there?"
''They usually said, "Good morning Admiral, can I get your coffee, sir?""
1509
The Coffee Shop / Texas Bank Robber...
« on: August 17, 2010, 09:50:43 am »
Bank Robber!
A hooded robber burst into a Texas bank and forced the tellers to load a sack full of cash.
On his way out the door, a brave Texas customer grabbed the hood and pulled it off revealing the robber?s face. The robber shot the customer without a moment?s hesitation.
He then looked around the bank and noticed one of the tellers looking straight at him. The robber instantly shot him also. Everyone else, by now very scared, looked intently down at the floor in silence.
The robber yelled, ?Well, did anyone else see my face??
There are a few moments of utter silence in which everyone was plainly afraid to speak.
Then, one old cowboy tentatively raised his hand and said,
?My wife got a pretty good look at you.?
A hooded robber burst into a Texas bank and forced the tellers to load a sack full of cash.
On his way out the door, a brave Texas customer grabbed the hood and pulled it off revealing the robber?s face. The robber shot the customer without a moment?s hesitation.
He then looked around the bank and noticed one of the tellers looking straight at him. The robber instantly shot him also. Everyone else, by now very scared, looked intently down at the floor in silence.
The robber yelled, ?Well, did anyone else see my face??
There are a few moments of utter silence in which everyone was plainly afraid to speak.
Then, one old cowboy tentatively raised his hand and said,
?My wife got a pretty good look at you.?
1510
The Coffee Shop / Celebrity Passing.....
« on: August 16, 2010, 10:32:28 pm »
Please join me in remembering a great icon of the Minneapolis
community.
Yesterday the Pillsbury Doughboy died of a yeast infection and
trauma complications from repeated pokes in the belly. He was 71.
Doughboy was buried in a lightly greased coffin. Dozens of celebrities
turned out to pay their respects, including Mrs. Buttersworth, Hungry
Jack, the California Raisins, Betty Crocker, the Hostess Twinkies, and
Captain Crunch. The grave site was piled high with flours.
Aunt Jemima delivered the eulogy and lovingly described Doughboy as a
man who never knew how much he was kneaded. Doughboy rose quickly in
show business, but his later life was filled with turnovers. He was
considered a very smart cookie, but wasted much of his dough on
half-baked schemes. Despite being a little flaky at times, he still was
a crusty old man and was considered a positive roll model for
millions.......
Doughboy is survived by his wife Play Dough, three children: John Dough,
Jane Dough and Dosey Dough, plus they had one in the oven. He is also
survived by his elderly father, Pop Tart.
The funeral was held at 3:50 for about 20 minutes.
If this made you smile for even a brief second, please rise to the
occasion and take time to pass it on and share that smile with someone
else who may be having a crumby day and kneads a lift.
I don't write them, I just pass them along!
Besides I thought it was 'punny'!
~~~GrayBeard~~~
community.
Yesterday the Pillsbury Doughboy died of a yeast infection and
trauma complications from repeated pokes in the belly. He was 71.
Doughboy was buried in a lightly greased coffin. Dozens of celebrities
turned out to pay their respects, including Mrs. Buttersworth, Hungry
Jack, the California Raisins, Betty Crocker, the Hostess Twinkies, and
Captain Crunch. The grave site was piled high with flours.
Aunt Jemima delivered the eulogy and lovingly described Doughboy as a
man who never knew how much he was kneaded. Doughboy rose quickly in
show business, but his later life was filled with turnovers. He was
considered a very smart cookie, but wasted much of his dough on
half-baked schemes. Despite being a little flaky at times, he still was
a crusty old man and was considered a positive roll model for
millions.......
Doughboy is survived by his wife Play Dough, three children: John Dough,
Jane Dough and Dosey Dough, plus they had one in the oven. He is also
survived by his elderly father, Pop Tart.
The funeral was held at 3:50 for about 20 minutes.
If this made you smile for even a brief second, please rise to the
occasion and take time to pass it on and share that smile with someone
else who may be having a crumby day and kneads a lift.
I don't write them, I just pass them along!
Besides I thought it was 'punny'!
~~~GrayBeard~~~
1511
The Coffee Shop / The Golfers and the Genie ! ! !
« on: August 16, 2010, 02:21:36 am »A
husband takes his wife to play her first game of
golf.....
Unfortunately,
the wife promptly whacked her first shot right through the window of
the biggest house adjacent to the course.
The husband
cringed, 'I warned you to be careful! Now we'll have to go up there,
find the owner, apologize and see how much your lousy drive is going
to cost us.'
So the couple walked up to the house and
knocked on the door. A warm voice said, 'Come on in.'
When
they opened the door they saw the damage that was done: glass was
all over the place, and a broken antique bottle was lying on its
side near the broken window.
A man reclining on the couch
asked, 'Are you the people that broke my window?'
'Uh...yeah, sir. We're really sorry about that,' the husband
replied.
'Oh, no apology is necessary. Actually I want to
thank you... You see , I'm a genie , and I've been trapped in that
bottle for a thousand years. Now that you've released me, I'm
allowed to grant three wishes. I'll give you each one wish, but if
you don't mind, I'll keep the last one for myself.'
'Wow,
that's great!' the husband said. He pondered a moment and blurted
out, 'I'd like a million dollars a year for the rest of my life.'
'No problem,' said the genie 'You've got it, it's the least
I can do. And I'll guarantee you a long, healthy life!' 'And now
you, young lady, what do you want?' the genie asked.
'I'd
like to own a gorgeous home complete with servants in every country
in the world,' she said.
'Consider it done,' the genie said.
'And your homes will always be safe from fire, burglary and natural
disasters!'
'And now,' the couple asked in unison, what's
your wish, genie?'
'Well, since I've been trapped in that
bottle and haven't been with a woman in more than a thousand years,
my wish is to have sex with your wife.'
The husband looked
at his wife and said, 'Gee, honey, you know we both now have a
fortune, and all those houses. What do you
think?'
She
mulled it over for a few moments and said, 'You know, you're right.
Considering our good fortune, I guess I wouldn't mind, but what
about you, honey?'
'You know I love you sweetheart,' said
the husband. I'd do the same for you!'
So
the genie and the woman went upstairs where they spent the rest of
the afternoon enjoying each other in every way. After about three
hours of non-stop sex, the genie rolled over and looked directly
into her eyes and asked, 'How old are you and your husband?'
'Why, we're both 35,' she responded breathlessly.
NO KIDDING.' He said, 'Thirty-five years old and you both still
believe in genies?'
1512
Pattern Requests. / How good are you folks?
« on: August 15, 2010, 05:35:38 pm »
I have a request from my "lady friend" to do a ...
"Cat in a Clown Costume" portrait!
Anybody got any leads or patterns?
~~~GrayBeard~~~
"Cat in a Clown Costume" portrait!
Anybody got any leads or patterns?
~~~GrayBeard~~~
1513
The Coffee Shop / Remember when 'great grampa' said he only had an 8th grade education?
« on: August 14, 2010, 12:09:29 am »
What it took to get an 8th grade education in 1895...
Remember when grandparents and great-grandparents stated that they only had an 8th grade education? Well, check this out. Could any of us have passed the 8th grade in 1895?
This is the eighth-grade final exam from 1895 in Salina , Kansas , USA .. It was taken from the original document on file at the Smokey Valley Genealogical Society and Library in Salina , and reprinted by the Salina Journal..
8th Grade Final Exam:
Salina , KS - 1895
Grammar (Time, one hour)
1. Give nine rules for the use of capital letters.
2. Name the parts of speech and define those that have no modifications
3. Define verse, stanza and paragraph.
4. What are the principal parts of a verb? Give principal parts of 'lie,' 'play,' and 'run'.
5. Define case; illustrate each case.
6 What is punctuation? Give rules for principal marks of punctuation.
7 - 10. Write a composition of about 150 words and show therein that you understand the practical use of the rules of grammar.
Arithmetic (Time,1 hour 15 minutes)
1. Name and define the Fundamental Rules of Arithmetic.
2. A wagon box is 2 ft. Deep, 10 feet Long, and 3 ft. Wide. How many bushels of wheat will it hold?
3. If a load of wheat weighs 3,942 lbs, what is it worth at 50cts/bushel, deducting 1,050 lbs for tare?
4. District No 33 has a valuation of $35,000. What is the necessary levy to carry on a school seven months at $50 per month, and have $104 for incidentals?
5. Find the cost of 6,720 lbs. Coal at $6.00 per ton.
6. Find the interest of $512.60 for 8 months and 18 days at 7percent per annum.
7. What is the cost of 40 boards 12 inches wide and 16 ft long at $20 per metre?
8... Find bank discount on $300 for 90 days (no grace) at 10 percent.
9. What is the cost of a square farm at $15 per acre, the distance of which is 640 rods?
10. Write a Bank Check, a Promissory Note, and a Receipt.
U.S. History (Time, 45 minutes)
1. Give the epochs into which U.S. History is divided
2. Give an account of the discovery of America by Columbus .
3. Relate the causes and results of the Revolutionary War.
4. Show the territorial growth of the United States .
5. Tell what you can of the history of Kansas .
6. Describe three of the most prominent battles of the Rebellion.
7. Who were the following: Morse, Whitney, Fulton , Bell , Lincoln , Penn, and Howe?
8. Name events connected with the following dates: 1607, 1620, 1800, 1849, 1865.
Orthography (Time, one hour)
[Do we even know what this is??]
1. What is meant by the following: alphabet, phonetic, orthography, etymology, syllabication?
2. What are elementary sounds? How classified?
3. What are the following, and give examples of each: trigraph, subvocals, diphthong, cognate letters, linguals?
4. Give four substitutes for caret 'u'.
5. Give two rules for spelling words with final 'e.' Name two exceptions under each rule.
6. Give two uses of silent letters in spelling. Illustrate each.
7. Define the following prefixes and use in connection with a word: bi, dis, pre, semi, post, non, inter, mono, sup.
8. Mark diacritically and divide into syllables the following, and name the sign that indicates the sound: card, ball, mercy, sir, odd, cell, rise, blood, fare, last.
9.. Use the following correctly in sentences: cite, site, sight, fane, fain, feign, vane , vain, vein, raze, raise, rays.
10. Write 10 words frequently mispronounced and indicate pronunciation by use of diacritical marks and by syllabication.
Geography (Time, one hour)
1 What is climate? Upon what does climate depend?
2. How do you account for the extremes of climate in Kansas ?
3. Of what use are rivers? Of what use is the ocean?
4. Describe the mountains of North America .
5. Name and describe the following: Monrovia , Odessa , Denver , Manitoba , Hecla , Yukon , St. Helena, Juan Fernandez, Aspinwall and Orinoco .
6. Name and locate the principal trade centers of the U.S. Name all the republics of Europe and give the capital of each.
8. Why is the Atlantic Coast colder than the Pacific in the same latitude?
9.. Describe the process by which the water of the ocean returns to the sources of rivers.
10. Describe the movements of the earth. Give the inclination of the earth.
HUH??? Are they kidding??? This is hard to believe....
Notice that the exam took FIVE HOURS to complete.
Gives the saying 'he only had an 8th grade education' a whole new meaning, doesn't it?!
Also shows you how poor our education system has become and, NO, I don't have the answers!
~~~GrayBeard~~~
Remember when grandparents and great-grandparents stated that they only had an 8th grade education? Well, check this out. Could any of us have passed the 8th grade in 1895?
This is the eighth-grade final exam from 1895 in Salina , Kansas , USA .. It was taken from the original document on file at the Smokey Valley Genealogical Society and Library in Salina , and reprinted by the Salina Journal..
8th Grade Final Exam:
Salina , KS - 1895
Grammar (Time, one hour)
1. Give nine rules for the use of capital letters.
2. Name the parts of speech and define those that have no modifications
3. Define verse, stanza and paragraph.
4. What are the principal parts of a verb? Give principal parts of 'lie,' 'play,' and 'run'.
5. Define case; illustrate each case.
6 What is punctuation? Give rules for principal marks of punctuation.
7 - 10. Write a composition of about 150 words and show therein that you understand the practical use of the rules of grammar.
Arithmetic (Time,1 hour 15 minutes)
1. Name and define the Fundamental Rules of Arithmetic.
2. A wagon box is 2 ft. Deep, 10 feet Long, and 3 ft. Wide. How many bushels of wheat will it hold?
3. If a load of wheat weighs 3,942 lbs, what is it worth at 50cts/bushel, deducting 1,050 lbs for tare?
4. District No 33 has a valuation of $35,000. What is the necessary levy to carry on a school seven months at $50 per month, and have $104 for incidentals?
5. Find the cost of 6,720 lbs. Coal at $6.00 per ton.
6. Find the interest of $512.60 for 8 months and 18 days at 7percent per annum.
7. What is the cost of 40 boards 12 inches wide and 16 ft long at $20 per metre?
8... Find bank discount on $300 for 90 days (no grace) at 10 percent.
9. What is the cost of a square farm at $15 per acre, the distance of which is 640 rods?
10. Write a Bank Check, a Promissory Note, and a Receipt.
U.S. History (Time, 45 minutes)
1. Give the epochs into which U.S. History is divided
2. Give an account of the discovery of America by Columbus .
3. Relate the causes and results of the Revolutionary War.
4. Show the territorial growth of the United States .
5. Tell what you can of the history of Kansas .
6. Describe three of the most prominent battles of the Rebellion.
7. Who were the following: Morse, Whitney, Fulton , Bell , Lincoln , Penn, and Howe?
8. Name events connected with the following dates: 1607, 1620, 1800, 1849, 1865.
Orthography (Time, one hour)
[Do we even know what this is??]
1. What is meant by the following: alphabet, phonetic, orthography, etymology, syllabication?
2. What are elementary sounds? How classified?
3. What are the following, and give examples of each: trigraph, subvocals, diphthong, cognate letters, linguals?
4. Give four substitutes for caret 'u'.
5. Give two rules for spelling words with final 'e.' Name two exceptions under each rule.
6. Give two uses of silent letters in spelling. Illustrate each.
7. Define the following prefixes and use in connection with a word: bi, dis, pre, semi, post, non, inter, mono, sup.
8. Mark diacritically and divide into syllables the following, and name the sign that indicates the sound: card, ball, mercy, sir, odd, cell, rise, blood, fare, last.
9.. Use the following correctly in sentences: cite, site, sight, fane, fain, feign, vane , vain, vein, raze, raise, rays.
10. Write 10 words frequently mispronounced and indicate pronunciation by use of diacritical marks and by syllabication.
Geography (Time, one hour)
1 What is climate? Upon what does climate depend?
2. How do you account for the extremes of climate in Kansas ?
3. Of what use are rivers? Of what use is the ocean?
4. Describe the mountains of North America .
5. Name and describe the following: Monrovia , Odessa , Denver , Manitoba , Hecla , Yukon , St. Helena, Juan Fernandez, Aspinwall and Orinoco .
6. Name and locate the principal trade centers of the U.S. Name all the republics of Europe and give the capital of each.
8. Why is the Atlantic Coast colder than the Pacific in the same latitude?
9.. Describe the process by which the water of the ocean returns to the sources of rivers.
10. Describe the movements of the earth. Give the inclination of the earth.
HUH??? Are they kidding??? This is hard to believe....
Notice that the exam took FIVE HOURS to complete.
Gives the saying 'he only had an 8th grade education' a whole new meaning, doesn't it?!
Also shows you how poor our education system has become and, NO, I don't have the answers!
~~~GrayBeard~~~
1514
The Coffee Shop / The "CowBoy" Way!!!
« on: August 13, 2010, 02:27:48 pm »
Cowboy rules for:
OREGON, Texas , Oklahoma , Colorado , New Mexico , Wyoming , Montana , Utah , Idaho and the rest of the Wild West are as follows:
1. Pull your pants up. You look like an idiot.
2. Turn your cap right, your head ain't crooked.
3. Let's get this straight: it's called a 'gravel road.' I drive a pickup truck because I want to. No matter how slow you drive, you're gonna get dust on your Lexus. Drive it or get out of the way.
4. They are cattle. That's why they smell like cattle. They smell like money to us. Get over it. Don't like it? I-10 & I-40 go east and west, I-17 & I-15 goes north and south. Pick one and go.
5. So you have a $60,000 car. We're impressed. We have $250,000 Combines that are driven only 3 weeks a year.
6. Every person in the Wild West waves. It's called being friendly. Try to understand the concept.
7. If that cell phone rings while a bunch of geese/pheasants/ducks/doves are comin' in during a hunt, we WILL shoot it outta your hand. You better hope you don't have it up to your ear at the time.
8. Yeah. We eat trout, salmon, deer and elk. You really want sushi and caviar? It's available at the corner bait shop.
9. The 'Opener' refers to the first day of deer season. It's a religious holiday held the closest Saturday to the first of November.
10. We open doors for women. That's applied to all women, regardless of age.
11. No, there's no 'vegetarian special' on the menu. Order steak, or you can order the Chef's Salad and pick off the 2 pounds of ham and turkey.
12. When we fill out a table, there are three main dishes: meats, vegetables, and breads. We use three spices: salt, pepper, and ketchup! Oh, yeah ... We don't care what you folks in Cincinnati call that stuff you eat ... IT AIN'T REAL CHILI!
13. You bring 'Coke' into my house, it better be brown, wet and served over ice. You bring 'Mary Jane' into my house, she better be cute, know how to shoot, drive a truck, and have long hair.
14. College and High School Football is as important here as the Giants, the Yankees, the Mets, the Suns, and the Knicks, and a dang site more fun to watch.
15. Yeah, we have golf courses. But don't hit the water hazards - it spooks the fish.
16. Turn down that blasted car stereo! That thumpity-thump ain't music, anyway. We don't want to hear it anymore than we want to see your boxers! Refer back to #1!
A true Westerner will send this to at least 10 others and a few new friends that probably won't get it, but we're friendly so we share in hopes you can begin to understand what a real life is all about!!!
~~~GrayBeard~~~
"Missourian by birth, TEXAN by Adoption!"
OREGON, Texas , Oklahoma , Colorado , New Mexico , Wyoming , Montana , Utah , Idaho and the rest of the Wild West are as follows:
1. Pull your pants up. You look like an idiot.
2. Turn your cap right, your head ain't crooked.
3. Let's get this straight: it's called a 'gravel road.' I drive a pickup truck because I want to. No matter how slow you drive, you're gonna get dust on your Lexus. Drive it or get out of the way.
4. They are cattle. That's why they smell like cattle. They smell like money to us. Get over it. Don't like it? I-10 & I-40 go east and west, I-17 & I-15 goes north and south. Pick one and go.
5. So you have a $60,000 car. We're impressed. We have $250,000 Combines that are driven only 3 weeks a year.
6. Every person in the Wild West waves. It's called being friendly. Try to understand the concept.
7. If that cell phone rings while a bunch of geese/pheasants/ducks/doves are comin' in during a hunt, we WILL shoot it outta your hand. You better hope you don't have it up to your ear at the time.
8. Yeah. We eat trout, salmon, deer and elk. You really want sushi and caviar? It's available at the corner bait shop.
9. The 'Opener' refers to the first day of deer season. It's a religious holiday held the closest Saturday to the first of November.
10. We open doors for women. That's applied to all women, regardless of age.
11. No, there's no 'vegetarian special' on the menu. Order steak, or you can order the Chef's Salad and pick off the 2 pounds of ham and turkey.
12. When we fill out a table, there are three main dishes: meats, vegetables, and breads. We use three spices: salt, pepper, and ketchup! Oh, yeah ... We don't care what you folks in Cincinnati call that stuff you eat ... IT AIN'T REAL CHILI!
13. You bring 'Coke' into my house, it better be brown, wet and served over ice. You bring 'Mary Jane' into my house, she better be cute, know how to shoot, drive a truck, and have long hair.
14. College and High School Football is as important here as the Giants, the Yankees, the Mets, the Suns, and the Knicks, and a dang site more fun to watch.
15. Yeah, we have golf courses. But don't hit the water hazards - it spooks the fish.
16. Turn down that blasted car stereo! That thumpity-thump ain't music, anyway. We don't want to hear it anymore than we want to see your boxers! Refer back to #1!
A true Westerner will send this to at least 10 others and a few new friends that probably won't get it, but we're friendly so we share in hopes you can begin to understand what a real life is all about!!!
~~~GrayBeard~~~
"Missourian by birth, TEXAN by Adoption!"
1515
The Coffee Shop / A good philosophy....
« on: August 12, 2010, 12:31:56 am »
Engraved on John Wayne's tombstone....
?Tomorrow is the most important thing in life.
Comes into us at midnight very clean.
It?s perfect when it arrives and it puts itself in our hands.
It hopes we?ve learnt something from yesterday.?
~~~GrayBeard~~~
?Tomorrow is the most important thing in life.
Comes into us at midnight very clean.
It?s perfect when it arrives and it puts itself in our hands.
It hopes we?ve learnt something from yesterday.?
~~~GrayBeard~~~
