Topics

151

The Coffee Shop / Interesting statistics

« on: August 22, 2011, 08:02:34 pm »

I just copied it and pasted it here, no verification. Gabby

An interesting letter in the Australian Shooter Magazine this week:

"If you consider that there has been an average of 160,000 troops in the Iraq Theater of operations during the past 22 months, and a total of 2112 deaths, that gives a firearm death rate of 60 per 100,000 soldiers.

The firearm death rate in Washington, DC is 80.6 per 100,000 for the same period. That means you are about 25 per cent more likely to be shot and killed in the US capital which has some of the strictest gun control laws in the U..S., than you are in Iraq.

Conclusion: The U.S. should pull out of Washington.

152

Ask Steve a question. / Patterns from members page

« on: August 22, 2011, 01:20:48 am »

Steve
Does this site have room for a Patterns Page, similar to the Gallery Page, where our great artists could post them rather than in the Requests Page where as I understand it after they time out they are deleted like the old photos or just lost in the shuffle since the patterns are rarely listed by a name?? It would be a great resource to make patterns available to all. Members that is! 
Thanks,
Gabby

153

The Coffee Shop / Oil Change Humor

« on: August 21, 2011, 04:21:14 am »

It's an oldie but still good for a chuckle.
Gabby
Oil Change instructions for Women:

1. Pull up to Dealership when the mileage reaches 5,000 miles since the last oil change.

2. Relax in the waiting room while enjoying a cup of coffee.
 
3. 15 minutes later, scan debit card and leave, driving a properly maintained vehicle.



Money spent:
Oil Change:$24.00 with coupon
Coffee: Complementary
TOTAL: $24.00



Oil Change instructions for Men:

1. Wait until Saturday, drive to auto parts store and buy a case of oil, filter, kitty litter, hand cleaner and a scented tree, and use your debit card for $50.00.

2. Stop to buy a case of beer, (debit $24), drive home.

3. Open a beer and drink it.

4. Jack truck up. Spend 30 minutes looking for jack stands.

5. Find jack stands under kid's pedal car.

6.. In frustration, open another beer and drink it.

7. Place drain pan under engine.

8. Look for 9/16 box end wrench.

9. Give up and use crescent wrench.

10. Unscrew drain plug.

11. Drop drain plug in pan of hot oil: splash hot oil on you in process. Cuss.

12. Crawl out from under truck to wipe hot oil off of face and arms. Throw kitty litter on spilled oil.

13. Have another beer while watching oil drain.

14. Spend 30 minutes looking for oil filter wrench.

15. Give up; crawl under truck and hammer a screwdriver through oil filter and twist off.

16. Crawl out from under truck with dripping oil filter splashing oil everywhere from holes. Cleverly hide old oil filter among trash in trash can to avoid environmental penalties. Drink a beer.

17. Install new oil filter making sure to apply a thin coat of oil to gasket surface.

18. Dump first quart of fresh oil into engine.

19. Remember drain plug from step 11.

20. Hurry to find drain plug in drain pan.

21. Drink beer.

22. Discover that first quart of fresh oil is now on the floor. Throw kitty litter on oil spill.

23. Get drain plug back in with only a minor spill. Drink beer.

24. Crawl under truck getting kitty litter into eyes. Wipe eyes with oily rag used to clean drain plug. Slip with stupid crescent wrench tightening drain plug and bang knuckles on frame removing any excess skin between knuckles and frame.

25. Begin cussing fit.

26. Throw stupid crescent wrench.

27. Cuss for additional 5 minutes because wrench hit truck and left dent.

28. Beer.

29. Clean up hands and bandage as required to stop blood flow.

30. Beer.

31. Dump in five fresh quarts of oil.

32. Beer.

33. Lower truck from jack stands.

34. Move truck back to apply more kitty litter to fresh oil spilled during any missed steps.

35. Beer.

36. Test drive truck.

37. Get pulled over: arrested for driving under the influence.

38. Truck gets impounded.

39. Call loving wife, make bail.
40. 12 hours later, get truck from impound yard.
Money spent:

Parts: $50.00
DUI: $2,500.00
Impound fee: $75.00
Bail: $1,500.00
Beer: $20.00
TOTAL: $4,145.00

But you know the job was done right!

SEND THIS TO A WOMAN WHO NEEDS A LAUGH...
AND TO ANY MEN YOU THINK CAN HANDLE IT...I'll never change my own oil again!

154

The Coffee Shop / Grandpa's old Ford garage

« on: August 20, 2011, 05:06:05 pm »

For the old car lovers view the pages at this website. All the restorations are by an 84 year old man. Some of the pattern makers may find this site useful.
Enjoy,
Gabby

http://kansastravel.org/grandpasoldfordgarage.htm

155

Brag Forum / Trivet for the BOSS

« on: August 20, 2011, 03:58:31 am »

Here is the trivet I designed for my wife. Did it from scratch, it's a first for me.
Edited a photo of her "Merlin" Miniature Australian Shepherd, and made the center cutout from that.
It's plain pine with maple stain and lemon oil.
Thanks for looking and comments are appreciated, especially constructive ones.  
Gabby

156

The Coffee Shop / Cherie

« on: August 20, 2011, 12:23:21 am »

Just in case you missed my request.
Please put your new photo of you and Little Man in the Mug Shots I'd love to see it.
Gabby

Ah she's a shy one she is!

Or maybe just busy.
 

157

Brag Forum / Check out my last completion

« on: August 18, 2011, 04:36:46 am »

I called it "Stud Hoss" for the gallery. All the information is included in the comments under the photo.
It's Charlie's horse from Steve's catalog.
Give it a look,
Gabby

158

The Coffee Shop / Lee Trevino

« on: August 17, 2011, 01:18:30 pm »

Supposed to be a true story. Funny anyway.
Gabby

Lee Trevino - a true story---this should bring a chuckle to all who have heard of Lee Trevino, a retired professional golfer

One day, shortly after joining the PGA tour in 1965, Lee Trevino, a
professional golfer and married man, was at his home in Dallas, Texas mowing
his front lawn, as he always did.

A lady driving by in a big, shiny Cadillac stopped in front of his house,
lowered the window and asked, "Excuse me, do you speak English?"

Lee responded, "Yes ma'am, I do".

The lady then asked, "What do you charge to do yard work ?"

Lee said, "Well, the lady in this house lets me sleep with her".

The lady hurriedly put the car into gear and sped off.

Now that's funny! Gabby

159

The Coffee Shop / Concrete tents, awesome

« on: August 17, 2011, 02:52:05 am »

Check this out, BRILLIANT!
Gabby

http://www.wimp.com/concretetents/

160

General Scroll Saw Talk / Randome thoughts, Too old to scroll?

« on: August 16, 2011, 04:31:12 am »

I was thinking, yup it was hard! 

Several have expressed concerns about age being a restriction to scrolling.
I'm sure the majority of scrollers are at least middle age or senior citizens, both genders too.
Yes I know there are exceptions.

This is perhaps because it doesn't take brawn to make something beautiful or useful or both! As long as you can sit or stand in front of one of these machines and have some dexterity in your hands and decent eyesight at least with a magnifier. You can scroll!
So get a saw and make some sawdust and designer fire wood it's good for you, keeps you out of the bars too! Spending all your money on wood and tools will see to that!
Scroll on!
Gabby

161

The Coffee Shop / A glass of wine

« on: August 16, 2011, 04:13:54 am »

Soon, we all should gather and drink a glass of wine:




          A glass of wine


To my friends who enjoy a glass of wine..
And those who don't and are always
seen with a bottle of water in their hand.

As Ben Franklin said:
In wine there is wisdom,
In beer there is freedom,
In water there is bacteria.

In a number of carefully controlled trials,
Scientists have demonstrated that if we drink
1 litre of water each day,
At the end of the year we would have absorbed
More than 1 kilo of Escherichia coli, (E. Coli) - bacteria
Found in feces.
In other words, we are consuming 1 kilo of poop.

However,
We do NOT run that risk when drinking wine & beer
(or tequila, rum, whiskey or other liquor)
Because alcohol has to go through a purification process
Of boiling, filtering and/or fermenting..

Remember:
Water = Poop,
Wine = Health
Therefore, it's better to drink wine and talk stupid,
Than to drink water and be full of $hit..

There is no need to thank me for this valuable information:
I'm doing it as a public service

162

The Coffee Shop / going back in time. A story to tell!

« on: August 16, 2011, 02:25:43 am »

Just came across this post and thought it should be re posted. Here for all to see. God works in mysterious ways!
Gabby

Jr. Member

Posts: 72


    A story to Tell
? on: October 08, 2010, 08:56:49 AM ? Quote 

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Hi folks and good morning.

I want to share a story with you that I fel should be told. A little over a year ago I met a wonderful man that I did marry. He brought God into my life and my life has changed so much.  My only regret is that I didn't turn my life over to Him years ago. Larry and I want to move from this area so we found a place that we fell in love with but didn't know if we were doing the right thing.  I put it into Gods hands and the offer was accepted.Now, I needed to sell my property to be able to buy the place we wanted. Yesterday the neighboring rancher came down and we made a deal at the kitchen table. I didn't even get it listed. That verifies to me that God wants us to be there.  It is a place of my dreams and God let it happen.  I have never asked him for the place  He knows what we want. Through the grace of God I have been able to forgive all my adversaries and have mended all the bridges. I have never been more  at peace with my life no matter what happens.  I thank God for everthing that happens good or bad. He always tests us and I only hope that I can be strong enough to pass those tests.  Without Him in my life I lived under stress and was not a very nice person.  Things are so different now that my wish for anyone who has never asked God to come into their life that they do so and realize that by changing life will be far better.  I don't mean to preach but I wanted to tell this one story.  There have been many.  God bless you all and thank Steve for such a wonderful sight. Pokey
 
 

163

Pattern Requests. / Garden Gnome request

« on: August 13, 2011, 02:01:37 pm »

Chachi
Here is the photo of our Garden Gnome to give you an idea what I'm looking for. He is made of terracotta and is about 2 feet high. Of course the pattern doesn't have to be that big, I can size it to what ever I want. As you can see he is more realistic than the Travelocity gnome which looks more like a cartoon.
Thanks,
Gabby
dumped the photo poor quality.
G

164

The Coffee Shop / 3 women

« on: August 12, 2011, 02:27:20 am »

Just couldn't resist. This was sent to me by my 90+ year old girl friend. She is still sharper than many 30 years younger! Any of you know what the Tevis Cup is for? She competed in many of those competitive rides. Yep she has her photo going up over Cougar Rock! Tough as boot leather and sharp as a tack!
Gabby
    
>   Three women go down to Mexico one night
>
>   to celebrate college graduation.. They got drunk, and woke up in jail, only
>
>   to find that they are to be executed in the morning, though none of them
>
>   can remember what they did the night before.

>   The first one, a redhead, is strapped in
>
>   the electric chair and is asked if she has any last words. She says: "I
>
>   just graduated from Trinity Bible College
>
>   and believe in the almighty power of God to intervene on the behalf of the
>
>   innocent.." They throw the switch and nothing happens. They all immediately
>
>   fall to the floor on their knees, beg for forgiveness and release
>
>   her.


>   The second one, a brunette, is strapped
>
>   in and gives her last words. "I just graduated from the University of
>
>   Kentucky School of Law, and I believe in the power of Justice to intervene
>
>   on the behalf of the innocent." They throw the switch and again, nothing
>
>   happens. Again, they all immediately fall to their knees, beg for
>
>   forgiveness, and release her.


>   The last one, a blonde (you knew it), is
>
>   strapped in and says: "Well, I'm from the University of Alabama and just graduated with a
>
>   degree in Electrical Engineering, and I'll tell ya right now, y'all ain't
>
>   gonna electrocute nobody if you don't plug this thing
>
>   in."

165

The Coffee Shop / Sunburn treatment

« on: August 12, 2011, 02:24:14 am »

LOL  
Gabby

A kind Doctor....

NEW SUNBURN Treatment !!!

A guy visiting in Hawaii fell asleep on the beach for several hours and got a horrible sunburn, specifically to his upper legs. He went to the hospital, and was promptly admitted after being diagnosed with second-degree burns.

With his skin already starting to blister, and the severe pain he was in,the doctor prescribed continuous intravenous feeding with saline, electrolytes, a sedative, and a Viagra pill every four hours.

The nurse, who was rather astounded, asked, 'What good will Viagra do for him, Doctor?

The doctor replied, 'It won't do anything for his condition, but it'll keep the sheets off his legs.'

Sent by my girl friend, yup the same one! 
Gabby