1486
The Coffee Shop / What is a "Bucket Seat"?
« on: September 02, 2010, 05:46:30 pm »
Not something in a sporty car....
It looks like this!!!
It looks like this!!!
News: Had a couple issues with the forum today. 1/19/2017. I believe I have them corrected now. Let me know if you have any trouble. Thanks.
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1487
The Coffee Shop / "Who's yore Daddy?"
« on: September 02, 2010, 04:07:01 pm »
Who's your daddy?
A seminary professor was vacationing with his wife in Gatlinburg , TN. One morning, they were eating breakfast at a little restaurant, hoping to enjoy a quiet, family meal. While they were waiting for their food, they noticed a distinguished looking, white-haired man moving from table to table, visiting with the guests. The professor leaned over and whispered to his wife, 'I hope he doesn't come over here.' But sure enough, the man did come over to their table 'Where are you folks from?' he asked in a friendly voice. ' Oklahoma ,' they answered 'Great to have you here in Tennessee,' the stranger said.. 'What do you do for a living?'
'I teach at a seminary,' he replied. 'Oh, so you teach preachers how to preach, do you? Well, I've got a really great story for you.' And with that, the gentleman pulled up a chair and sat down at the table with the couple. The professor groaned and thought to himself, 'Great .... Just what I need .....another preacher story!' The man started, 'See that mountain over there? (pointing out the restaurant window). Not far from the base of that mountain, there was a boy born to an unwed mother. He had a hard time growing up, because every place he went, he was always asked the same question, 'Hey boy, Who's your daddy?' Whether he was at school, in the grocery store or drug store, people would ask the same question, 'Who's your daddy?'
He would hide at recess and lunch time from other students. He would avoid going in to stores because that question hurt him so bad. 'When he was about 12 years old, a new preacher came to his church. He would always go in late and slip out early to avoid hearing the question, 'Who's your daddy?'
But one day, the new preacher said the benediction so fast that he got caught and had to walk out with the crowd Just about the time he got to the back door, the new preacher, not knowing anything about him, put his hand on his shoulder and asked him, 'Son, who's your daddy?'
The whole church got deathly quiet. He could feel every eye in the church looking at him. Now everyone would finally know the answer to the question, 'Who's your daddy?'
'This new preacher, though, sensed the situation around him and using discernment that only the Holy Spirit could give, said the following to that scared little boy.. 'Wait a minute! I know who you are! I see the family resemblance now, You are a child of God.'
With that he patted the boy on his shoulder and said, 'Boy, you've got a great inheritance. Go and claim it.'
'With that, the boy smiled for the first time in a long time and walked out the door a changed person. He was never the same again. Whenever anybody asked him, 'Who's your Daddy?' He'd just tell them , 'I'm a Child of God..''
The distinguished gentleman got up from the table and said, 'Isn't that a great story?'
The professor responded that it really was a great story! As the man turned to leave, he said, 'You know, if that new preacher hadn't told me that I was one of God's children, I probably never would have amounted to anything!' And he walked away.
The seminary professor and his wife were stunned. He called the waitress over & asked her, 'Do you know who that man was -- the one who just left that was sitting at our table?'
The waitress grinned and said, 'Of course. Everybody here knows him. That's Ben Hooper. He's Governor of Tennessee !'
A seminary professor was vacationing with his wife in Gatlinburg , TN. One morning, they were eating breakfast at a little restaurant, hoping to enjoy a quiet, family meal. While they were waiting for their food, they noticed a distinguished looking, white-haired man moving from table to table, visiting with the guests. The professor leaned over and whispered to his wife, 'I hope he doesn't come over here.' But sure enough, the man did come over to their table 'Where are you folks from?' he asked in a friendly voice. ' Oklahoma ,' they answered 'Great to have you here in Tennessee,' the stranger said.. 'What do you do for a living?'
'I teach at a seminary,' he replied. 'Oh, so you teach preachers how to preach, do you? Well, I've got a really great story for you.' And with that, the gentleman pulled up a chair and sat down at the table with the couple. The professor groaned and thought to himself, 'Great .... Just what I need .....another preacher story!' The man started, 'See that mountain over there? (pointing out the restaurant window). Not far from the base of that mountain, there was a boy born to an unwed mother. He had a hard time growing up, because every place he went, he was always asked the same question, 'Hey boy, Who's your daddy?' Whether he was at school, in the grocery store or drug store, people would ask the same question, 'Who's your daddy?'
He would hide at recess and lunch time from other students. He would avoid going in to stores because that question hurt him so bad. 'When he was about 12 years old, a new preacher came to his church. He would always go in late and slip out early to avoid hearing the question, 'Who's your daddy?'
But one day, the new preacher said the benediction so fast that he got caught and had to walk out with the crowd Just about the time he got to the back door, the new preacher, not knowing anything about him, put his hand on his shoulder and asked him, 'Son, who's your daddy?'
The whole church got deathly quiet. He could feel every eye in the church looking at him. Now everyone would finally know the answer to the question, 'Who's your daddy?'
'This new preacher, though, sensed the situation around him and using discernment that only the Holy Spirit could give, said the following to that scared little boy.. 'Wait a minute! I know who you are! I see the family resemblance now, You are a child of God.'
With that he patted the boy on his shoulder and said, 'Boy, you've got a great inheritance. Go and claim it.'
'With that, the boy smiled for the first time in a long time and walked out the door a changed person. He was never the same again. Whenever anybody asked him, 'Who's your Daddy?' He'd just tell them , 'I'm a Child of God..''
The distinguished gentleman got up from the table and said, 'Isn't that a great story?'
The professor responded that it really was a great story! As the man turned to leave, he said, 'You know, if that new preacher hadn't told me that I was one of God's children, I probably never would have amounted to anything!' And he walked away.
The seminary professor and his wife were stunned. He called the waitress over & asked her, 'Do you know who that man was -- the one who just left that was sitting at our table?'
The waitress grinned and said, 'Of course. Everybody here knows him. That's Ben Hooper. He's Governor of Tennessee !'
1488
General Scroll Saw Talk / Do you have a Scroll Saw you are not using?
« on: September 02, 2010, 02:53:06 pm »
This morning I contacted my local School District and asked if they could use my gently used Craftsman that i no longer use.
The procurement office sent a memo to each of the schools and by 11:00 a.m. I had a call from the Industrial Arts teacher at the nearby 'middle' school, he was here by 1:30 and will be back on Tuesday with a 'tax deduction' letter to pick up the saw.
My only conditions for the 'donation' were that I be allowed to visit the class on occasion and that they send me pictures of the saw being used by the class members and pictures of their finished projects.
An unused saw becomes a "Win-Win" for all concerned!
FD Mike...I also gave him one of your brochures so you may be getting orders for blades from the Francis Howell School District in St. Peters, Missouri!!!!
That should make it a "Win-Win-Win" all around>
~~~GrayBeard~~~
The procurement office sent a memo to each of the schools and by 11:00 a.m. I had a call from the Industrial Arts teacher at the nearby 'middle' school, he was here by 1:30 and will be back on Tuesday with a 'tax deduction' letter to pick up the saw.
My only conditions for the 'donation' were that I be allowed to visit the class on occasion and that they send me pictures of the saw being used by the class members and pictures of their finished projects.
An unused saw becomes a "Win-Win" for all concerned!
FD Mike...I also gave him one of your brochures so you may be getting orders for blades from the Francis Howell School District in St. Peters, Missouri!!!!
That should make it a "Win-Win-Win" all around>
~~~GrayBeard~~~
1489
The Coffee Shop / 95 'views' and only.....
« on: September 02, 2010, 02:17:08 am »
16 REPLIES to the Ornament Exchange.....
I guess it is a bit early for the "Holiday Spirit"....
BUT it will bite you and then it might be too late!
Get Involved NOW!!!
Your 'psyche' will love you later....
~~~GrayBeard~~~
I guess it is a bit early for the "Holiday Spirit"....
BUT it will bite you and then it might be too late!
Get Involved NOW!!!
Your 'psyche' will love you later....
~~~GrayBeard~~~
1490
The Coffee Shop / Ornament Exchange!
« on: September 02, 2010, 01:29:06 am »
I guess I am getting too old and too sentimental....
The initial response is great and I sit here thinking...
"I really wish I could deliver each of these ornaments personally and meet in person every one of these wonderful people who make life a bit better by their presence here!"
I know it can't happen but I sure wish it could.......
~~~GrayBeard~~~
The initial response is great and I sit here thinking...
"I really wish I could deliver each of these ornaments personally and meet in person every one of these wonderful people who make life a bit better by their presence here!"
I know it can't happen but I sure wish it could.......
~~~GrayBeard~~~
1491
The Coffee Shop / Alright People...Get with it!!!
« on: September 01, 2010, 04:19:36 pm »
A "Christmas Ornament Exchange" was requested and the format is now set!
Read the "sticky" at the TOP of the Coffee Shop and follow the rules.
Let's make this a fun and interesting project!
Get an ornament made by a Forum Member!
Share your Holiday Wishes with others!
NEWBIES! This includes YOU Also!!!
No Judgments, No Criticisms, just Sharing and Caring!!!!
Who knows where YOUR special Christmas Gift will GO and from WHERE you may receive a special GIFT in exchange.
A few of us are already signed up and it sure would be nice if there would be a strain placed on the Postal Services around the world just because we CARE about each other!
~~~GrayBeard~~~
Read the "sticky" at the TOP of the Coffee Shop and follow the rules.
Let's make this a fun and interesting project!
Get an ornament made by a Forum Member!
Share your Holiday Wishes with others!
NEWBIES! This includes YOU Also!!!
No Judgments, No Criticisms, just Sharing and Caring!!!!
Who knows where YOUR special Christmas Gift will GO and from WHERE you may receive a special GIFT in exchange.
A few of us are already signed up and it sure would be nice if there would be a strain placed on the Postal Services around the world just because we CARE about each other!
~~~GrayBeard~~~
1492
The Coffee Shop / Hey, SANTA Russ.....
« on: September 01, 2010, 12:34:56 am »
Where are we on the "Ornament Exchange"?
Anything been set up yet?
I have a shipment of wood on the way and will be ready to get 'cutting' soon!
~~~GrayBeard~~~
Anything been set up yet?
I have a shipment of wood on the way and will be ready to get 'cutting' soon!
~~~GrayBeard~~~
1493
The Coffee Shop / New and Old from "MAXINE"....
« on: August 31, 2010, 02:20:43 pm »"The only two things we do with greater frequency in middle age are urinate and attend funerals ."
"The trouble with bucket seats is that not everybody has the same size bucket."
"To err is human; to forgive, highly unlikely."
"Do you realize that in about forty years, we'll have millions of old ladies running around with tattoos and pierced navels?" (Now that's scary!)
"Money can't buy happiness--but somehow it's more comfortable to cry in a Porsche than a Kia."
~~~GB~~~
"After a certain age, if you don't wake up aching somewhere...you may be dead."
1494
The Coffee Shop / Kulula Airlines flying out of South Africa....
« on: August 30, 2010, 04:24:48 pm »
is apparently the SA equivalent of our SouthWest Airlines....They also have a sense of HUMOR!
Kulula Airlines head office is located in Johannesburg.
Kulula airline attendants make an effort to make the in-flight safety lecture and announcements a bit more entertaining. Here are some real examples that have been heard or reported:
--------------------------------------------------------------------
There is no assigned seating. You just sit where you want. Passengers were apparently having a hard time choosing, when a flight attendant announced, "People, people we're not picking out furniture here, find a seat and get in it!"
---o0o---
On another flight with a very "senior" flight attendant crew, the pilot said, "Ladies and gentlemen, we've reached cruising altitude and will be turning down the cabin lights. This is for your comfort and to enhance the appearance of your flight attendants."
----o0o---
On landing, the stewardess said, "Please be sure to take all of your belongings. If you're going to leave anything, please make sure it's something we'd like to have."
----o0o---
"There may be 50 ways to leave your lover, but there are only 4 ways out of this airplane."
---o0o---
"Thank you for flying Kulula. We hope you enjoyed giving us the business as much as we enjoyed taking you for a ride."
---o0o---
As the plane landed and was coming to a stop at Durban Airport, a voice came over the loudspeaker, "Whoa, big fella. WHOA!"
---o0o---
After a particularly rough landing during thunderstorms in Karoo, a flight attendant announced, "Please take care when opening the overhead compartments because, after a landing like that, sure as Hell everything has shifted."
---o0o---
"Welcome aboard Kulula 271 to Port Elizabeth. To operate your seat belt, insert the metal tab into the buckle, and pull tight. It works just like every other seat belt; and, if you don't know how to operate one, you probably shouldn't be out in public unsupervised."
---o0o---
"In the event of a sudden loss of cabin pressure, masks will descend from the ceiling. Stop screaming, grab the mask, and pull it over your face. If you have a small child travelling with you, secure your mask before assisting with theirs.
If you are travelling with more than one small child, pick your favorite."
---o0o---
Weather at our destination is 50 degrees with some broken clouds, but we'll try to have them fixed before we arrive. Thank you, and remember, nobody loves you, or your money, more than Kulula Airlines."
----o0o---
"Your seats cushions can be used for flotation.
In the event of an emergency water landing, please paddle to shore and take them with our compliments."
---o0o---
"As you exit the plane, make sure to gather all of your belongings. Anything left behind will be distributed evenly among the flight attendants. Please do not leave children or spouses."
---o0o---
And from the pilot during his welcome message: "Kulula Airlines is pleased to announce that we have some of the best flight attendants in the industry. Unfortunately, none of them are on this flight!"
---o0o---
After a very hard landing in Cape Town, "The flight attendant came on the intercom and said, "That was quite a bump, and I know what you are thinking. I'm here to tell you it wasn't the airline's fault. It wasn't the pilot's fault. It wasn't the flight attendant's fault. It was the asphalt."
---o0o---
After an extremely hard landing in Cape Town on a particularly windy and bumpy day where the captain had to really fight the weather during final approach, the flight attendant said, "Ladies and Gentlemen, welcome to The Mother City. Please remain in your seats with your seat belts fastened while the Captain taxis what's left of our airplane to the gate!"
---o0o---
A flight attendant's comment on a less than perfect landing, "We ask you to please remain seated as Captain Kangaroo bounces us to the terminal."
---o0o---
The captain was standing at the cockpit door as the passengers were deplaning after a really bad landing. Everyone had gotten off except for a little old lady walking with a cane. She said, "Did we land, or were we shot down?"
---o0o---
After a real crusher of a landing in Johannesburg, the flight attendant came on with, "Ladies and Gentlemen, please remain in your seats until Captain Crash and his crew have brought the aircraft to a screeching halt against the gate. And, once the tire smoke has cleared and the warning bells are silenced, we will open the door, and you can pick your way through the wreckage to the terminal."
---o0o---
Part of a flight attendant's arrival announcement, "We'd like to thank you folks for flying with us today. And, the next time you get the insane urge to go blasting through the skies in a pressurized metal tube, we hope you'll think of Kulula Airways."
---o0o---
"Ladies and gentlemen, if you wish to smoke, the smoking section on this airplane is on the wing. If you can light 'em, you can smoke 'em."
---o0o---
A plane was taking off from Durban Airport. After it reached a comfortable cruising altitude, the captain made an announcement over the intercom, "Ladies and gentlemen, this is your captain speaking.
Welcome to Flight Number 293, non-stop from Durban to Cape Town. The weather ahead is good and, therefore, we should have a smooth and uneventful flight. Now sit back and relax."
Then, he screamed!! Silence followed, and after a few minutes, the captain came back on the intercom and said, "Ladies and Gentlemen, I am so sorry if I scared you earlier. While I was talking to you, the flight attendant accidentally spilled a cup of hot coffee in my lap.
You should see the front of my pants!"
A passenger then yelled, "You should see the back of mine!"
Kulula Airlines head office is located in Johannesburg.
Kulula airline attendants make an effort to make the in-flight safety lecture and announcements a bit more entertaining. Here are some real examples that have been heard or reported:
--------------------------------------------------------------------
There is no assigned seating. You just sit where you want. Passengers were apparently having a hard time choosing, when a flight attendant announced, "People, people we're not picking out furniture here, find a seat and get in it!"
---o0o---
On another flight with a very "senior" flight attendant crew, the pilot said, "Ladies and gentlemen, we've reached cruising altitude and will be turning down the cabin lights. This is for your comfort and to enhance the appearance of your flight attendants."
----o0o---
On landing, the stewardess said, "Please be sure to take all of your belongings. If you're going to leave anything, please make sure it's something we'd like to have."
----o0o---
"There may be 50 ways to leave your lover, but there are only 4 ways out of this airplane."
---o0o---
"Thank you for flying Kulula. We hope you enjoyed giving us the business as much as we enjoyed taking you for a ride."
---o0o---
As the plane landed and was coming to a stop at Durban Airport, a voice came over the loudspeaker, "Whoa, big fella. WHOA!"
---o0o---
After a particularly rough landing during thunderstorms in Karoo, a flight attendant announced, "Please take care when opening the overhead compartments because, after a landing like that, sure as Hell everything has shifted."
---o0o---
"Welcome aboard Kulula 271 to Port Elizabeth. To operate your seat belt, insert the metal tab into the buckle, and pull tight. It works just like every other seat belt; and, if you don't know how to operate one, you probably shouldn't be out in public unsupervised."
---o0o---
"In the event of a sudden loss of cabin pressure, masks will descend from the ceiling. Stop screaming, grab the mask, and pull it over your face. If you have a small child travelling with you, secure your mask before assisting with theirs.
If you are travelling with more than one small child, pick your favorite."
---o0o---
Weather at our destination is 50 degrees with some broken clouds, but we'll try to have them fixed before we arrive. Thank you, and remember, nobody loves you, or your money, more than Kulula Airlines."
----o0o---
"Your seats cushions can be used for flotation.
In the event of an emergency water landing, please paddle to shore and take them with our compliments."
---o0o---
"As you exit the plane, make sure to gather all of your belongings. Anything left behind will be distributed evenly among the flight attendants. Please do not leave children or spouses."
---o0o---
And from the pilot during his welcome message: "Kulula Airlines is pleased to announce that we have some of the best flight attendants in the industry. Unfortunately, none of them are on this flight!"
---o0o---
After a very hard landing in Cape Town, "The flight attendant came on the intercom and said, "That was quite a bump, and I know what you are thinking. I'm here to tell you it wasn't the airline's fault. It wasn't the pilot's fault. It wasn't the flight attendant's fault. It was the asphalt."
---o0o---
After an extremely hard landing in Cape Town on a particularly windy and bumpy day where the captain had to really fight the weather during final approach, the flight attendant said, "Ladies and Gentlemen, welcome to The Mother City. Please remain in your seats with your seat belts fastened while the Captain taxis what's left of our airplane to the gate!"
---o0o---
A flight attendant's comment on a less than perfect landing, "We ask you to please remain seated as Captain Kangaroo bounces us to the terminal."
---o0o---
The captain was standing at the cockpit door as the passengers were deplaning after a really bad landing. Everyone had gotten off except for a little old lady walking with a cane. She said, "Did we land, or were we shot down?"
---o0o---
After a real crusher of a landing in Johannesburg, the flight attendant came on with, "Ladies and Gentlemen, please remain in your seats until Captain Crash and his crew have brought the aircraft to a screeching halt against the gate. And, once the tire smoke has cleared and the warning bells are silenced, we will open the door, and you can pick your way through the wreckage to the terminal."
---o0o---
Part of a flight attendant's arrival announcement, "We'd like to thank you folks for flying with us today. And, the next time you get the insane urge to go blasting through the skies in a pressurized metal tube, we hope you'll think of Kulula Airways."
---o0o---
"Ladies and gentlemen, if you wish to smoke, the smoking section on this airplane is on the wing. If you can light 'em, you can smoke 'em."
---o0o---
A plane was taking off from Durban Airport. After it reached a comfortable cruising altitude, the captain made an announcement over the intercom, "Ladies and gentlemen, this is your captain speaking.
Welcome to Flight Number 293, non-stop from Durban to Cape Town. The weather ahead is good and, therefore, we should have a smooth and uneventful flight. Now sit back and relax."
Then, he screamed!! Silence followed, and after a few minutes, the captain came back on the intercom and said, "Ladies and Gentlemen, I am so sorry if I scared you earlier. While I was talking to you, the flight attendant accidentally spilled a cup of hot coffee in my lap.
You should see the front of my pants!"
A passenger then yelled, "You should see the back of mine!"
1495
The Coffee Shop / Interesting Factoid!
« on: August 30, 2010, 10:35:50 am »
The first testicular guard, the "Cup", was used in Hockey in 1874.
The first helmet was used in 1974.
That means it only took 100 years for men to realize that their brain is also important?
Go for it ladies!
~~~GB~~~
The first helmet was used in 1974.
That means it only took 100 years for men to realize that their brain is also important?
Go for it ladies!
~~~GB~~~
1496
The Coffee Shop / "WallPaper"...if you are interested....
« on: August 29, 2010, 03:23:52 pm »
I have another Picasa Album that contains many pictures and illustrations (and some duplicates unfortunately, working on that!) that I have been sent or collected or taken myself over the years.
Help Yourself to any, all or none!
<http://picasaweb.google.com/grampedstl/GrampedSWallpaper>
~~~GrayBeard~~~
Help Yourself to any, all or none!
<http://picasaweb.google.com/grampedstl/GrampedSWallpaper>
~~~GrayBeard~~~
1497
General Scroll Saw Talk / I finaally DID it!
« on: August 29, 2010, 02:27:37 pm »
I wish Picasa 3 weren't so good at editing photos! It invades your system and I now have many, many duplicates that I have to sort through and delete but....
I finally got an ALBUM put together showing some of my Latest Creations...
IF you care to look and/or comment you can find it here...
http://picasaweb.google.com/grampedstl/GrayBeardSScrollProjects#
Be gentle folks, please!
I just wanted to show I do NOT spend all my time in front of the monitor!!!
~~~GrayBeard~~~
I finally got an ALBUM put together showing some of my Latest Creations...
IF you care to look and/or comment you can find it here...
http://picasaweb.google.com/grampedstl/GrayBeardSScrollProjects#
Be gentle folks, please!
I just wanted to show I do NOT spend all my time in front of the monitor!!!
~~~GrayBeard~~~
1498
General Scroll Saw Talk / Look out, Russ....
« on: August 26, 2010, 11:33:52 am »
David has passed me and is rapidly gaining on you!!!
~~~GrayBeard~~~
~~~GrayBeard~~~
1499
General Scroll Saw Talk / WoodWorker Strikes it Rich!
« on: August 24, 2010, 03:34:48 pm »
Check this out!!!
http://jobs.aol.com/articles/2010/08/19/family-business-saved-by-the-blog/?ncid=webmail
~~~GrayBeard~~~
http://jobs.aol.com/articles/2010/08/19/family-business-saved-by-the-blog/?ncid=webmail
~~~GrayBeard~~~
1500
The Coffee Shop / Inescapable Computer Virus!
« on: August 22, 2010, 02:16:17 pm »
I thought you would want to know about this e-mail virus.
Even the most advanced programs from Norton or McAfee cannot take care of this one.
It appears to affect those who were born prior to 1959.
Symptoms:
1 Causes you to send the same e-mail twice
2 Causes you to send a blank e-mail
3. Causes you to send e-mail to the wrong person
4. Causes you to send it back to the person who sent it to you
5 Causes you to forget to attach the attachment
6 Causes you to hit "SEND" before you've finished
7. Causes you to hit "DELETE" instead of "SEND"
8 Causes you to hit "SEND" when you should "DELETE" !!
IT IS CALLED THE "C-NILE VIRUS!"
Even the most advanced programs from Norton or McAfee cannot take care of this one.
It appears to affect those who were born prior to 1959.
Symptoms:
1 Causes you to send the same e-mail twice
2 Causes you to send a blank e-mail
3. Causes you to send e-mail to the wrong person
4. Causes you to send it back to the person who sent it to you
5 Causes you to forget to attach the attachment
6 Causes you to hit "SEND" before you've finished
7. Causes you to hit "DELETE" instead of "SEND"
8 Causes you to hit "SEND" when you should "DELETE" !!
IT IS CALLED THE "C-NILE VIRUS!"
