Topics

1471

General Scroll Saw Talk / Oak Dining Table...just inherited! - Finish Questions...

« on: September 12, 2010, 02:34:03 pm »

45" round hand made oak table that I am inheriting is in wonderful shape.

The top needs a good 're-finish' to remove some small nicks and a couple surface blemishes.

I am not looking to make it 'perfect' but I want to put a GOOD finish on the top so it can be used every day.

My first inclination is to scrub the top with alcohol to remove any residual 'oils' and then sand it carefully.

I will appreciate any information from you all who may have done this kind of project before as to what steps to take and in what order.

Also asking for recommendations as to the final finishing.

Best guess is that the table was made by a woodworker near Springfield, MO about 70 years ago.

All work will have to be performed in my garage in the St. Louis area with all the resultant 'humidity' problems so bear that in mind.

~~~GrayBeard~~~

1472

The Coffee Shop / Just in off the wire service....A photo you'll realy enjoy!

« on: September 11, 2010, 09:45:43 pm »

A very nice picture of Sheila 'scrollgirl' Landry and a friend from a couple years ago!!!!

~~~GrayBeard~~~

1473

The Coffee Shop / The New Pastor's "Business Card"...for you Bible Students....

« on: September 11, 2010, 02:45:47 pm »

Pastor's Business Card

A new pastor was visiting the homes of his parishioners..
At one house it seemed obvious that someone was at home, but no answer came to his repeated knocks at the door.

Therefore, he took out a business card and wrote 'Revelation 3:20' on the back of it and stuck it in the door.

When the offering was processed the following Sunday, he found that his card had been returned. Added to it was this cryptic message, 'Genesis 3:10..'

Reaching for his Bible to check out the citation, he broke up in gales of laughter. Revelation 3:20 begins 'Behold, I stand at the door and knock.'
Genesis 3:10 reads, 'I heard your voice in the garden and I was afraid for I was naked.'

~~~GB~~~

1474

The Coffee Shop / Vacationing Priests...

« on: September 09, 2010, 10:59:00 pm »

Two priests decided to go to Hawaii on vacation.

They were determined to make this a real vacation
by not wearing anything that would identify them
as clergy.
As soon as the plane landed they headed
For a store and bought some really outrageous shorts,
Shirts, sandals, sunglasses, etc.


The next morning they went to the beach
dressed in their 'tourist' garb.
they were sitting on beach chairs,
enjoying a drink, the sunshine, and the scenery when
a 'drop dead gorgeous' blonde in a topless bikini
came walking straight towards them..
they couldn't help but stare.

As the blonde passed them she smiled and said

'Good Morning, Father ~ Good Morning, Father,'

nodding and addressing each of them individually,
then she passed on by. They were both stunned.
How in the world did she know they were priests?
So the next day, they went back to the store
and bought even more outrageous outfits.

These were so loud you could hear them before you even saw them! Once again, in their new attire, they settled down in their chairs to enjoy the sunshine. After a little while, the same gorgeous blonde, wearing a different colored topless bikini, taking her sweet time, came walking toward them. Again she nodded at each of them, said

'Good morning, Father ~ Good morning, Father,'
and started to walk away.


One of the priests couldn't stand it any longer and said, 'Just a minute, young lady.'
'Yes, Father?'
'We are priests and proud of it, but I have to know, how in the world do you know we are priests, dressed as we are?'


She replied,




'Father, it's me, Sister Kathleen.

1475

The Coffee Shop / Another "Hero Member"!

« on: September 09, 2010, 06:08:15 pm »

MadHatter ! ! !

Welcome to the Club!!!

~~~GrayBeard~~~

1476

The Coffee Shop / Pets Allowed!

« on: September 09, 2010, 02:30:09 pm »

A man wrote an email to a small hotel in a Midwest town he planned to visit on his vacation.

He wrote, "I would very much like to bring my dog with me.  He is well groomed and very well behaved.  Would you be willing to permit me to keep him in my room with me at night?"

An immediate reply came from the hotel owner, who said,
"I've been operating this hotel for many years. 
In all that time, I've never had a dog steal towels, bedclothes, silverware or pictures off the walls. 
I've never had to evict a dog in the middle of the night for being drunk and disorderly. 
And, I've never had a dog run out on a hotel bill. 
Yes, indeed, your dog is welcome at my hotel. 

And, if your dog will vouch for you, you're welcome to stay here, too."

~~~GB~~~

1477

The Coffee Shop / Sunday School wisdom...

« on: September 08, 2010, 12:36:21 pm »

A boy was watching his father, a pastor, write a sermon.
"How do you know what to say?" he asked.
"Why, God tells me."
"Oh, then why do you keep crossing things out?"
     

A little girl became restless as the preacher's sermon dragged on and on.
Finally, she leaned over to her mother and whispered,
"Mommy, if we give him the money now, will he let us go?"
   


Ms.  Terri asked her Sunday School class to draw pictures of their favorite Bible stories.
She was puzzled by Kyle's picture, which showed four people on an airplane,
 so she asked him which story it was meant to represent.
"The Flight to Egypt ," was his reply.
Pointing at each figure, Ms.  Terri said,
"That must be Mary, Joseph, and Baby Jesus.   
But who's the fourth person?"
"Oh, that's Pontius - the pilot!"
     

The Sunday School Teacher asks,
"Now, Johnny, tell me frankly do you say prayers before eating?"
"No ma'am," little Johnny replies, I don't have to.
 My mom is a good cook."

~~~GB~~~

1478

The Coffee Shop / Great TRUTHS learned by Children!

« on: September 07, 2010, 01:44:13 pm »

 GREAT TRUTHS THAT LITTLE CHILDREN HAVE LEARNED:
1) No matter how hard you try, you can't baptize cats..
 2) When your Mom is mad at your Dad, don't let her brush your hair.
 3) If your sister hits you, don't hit her back. They always catch the second person.
 4) Never ask your 3-year old brother to hold a tomato.
 5) You can't trust dogs to watch your food..
 6) Don't sneeze when someone is cutting your hair..
 7) Never hold a Dust-Buster and a cat at the same time.
  You can't hide a piece of broccoli in a glass of milk.
 9) Don't wear polka-dot underwear under white shorts.
 10) The best place to be when you're sad is Grandma's lap.

~~~GB~~

1479

The Coffee Shop / The Parishoner Gives Thanks....

« on: September 07, 2010, 01:35:03 pm »

The pastor asked if anyone in the
congregation would
like to express praise for answered
prayers.
Suzie Smith stood and walked to the podium. 
She  said,
"I have a praise.  Two months ago,
my  husband, Tom, had a terrible bicycle
wreck and  his scrotum was completely crushed.  The
pain was excruciating and the doctors didn't
know if they could help him."

You could hear a muffled gasp from the men
in the congregation as they imagine the pain
that poor Tom must have experienced.

"Tom was unable to hold me or the children,"
she went on, "and every move caused him terrible
pain.  We prayed as the doctors performed a
delicate operation, and it turned out they were
able to piece together the crushed remnants of
Tom's scrotum, and wrap wire around it
to hold it in place."

Again,the men in the congregation cringed and
squirmed uncomfortably as they imagined the horrible
surgery performed on Tom.

"Now,"she announced in a quivering voice,
"thank the Lord, Tom is out of the hospital and the
doctors say that with time, his scrotum should
recover completely."

All the men sighed with unified relief.  The
pastor rose and tentatively asked if
anyone else had something to say.

A man stood up and walked slowly to the
podium.
He said,
"I'm Tom Smith."
The entire congregation held its breath.

 "I just want to tell my wife the word is sternum."

~~~GrayBerd~~~

1480

The Coffee Shop / Ever used "Rubber Cement"?

« on: September 05, 2010, 11:52:43 am »

Here's a good video of how it can be used!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yD-rAMydQEQ

~~~GrayBeard~~~

1481

The Coffee Shop / Interesting Site!

« on: September 05, 2010, 11:40:58 am »

Check this site for information regarding your Birth DATE...

Enter the date you were born and learn all kinds of interesting things.

http://www.paulsadowski.org/BirthDay.asp

~~~GrayBeard~~~

1482

The Coffee Shop / Political...but Funny!

« on: September 04, 2010, 06:08:32 pm »

This morning, from a cave somewhere in Pakistan, the Taliban Minister of
Migration , Mohammed Omar , warned the United States that if Arizona's
immigration law is not repealed, Taliban authorities intend to cut off
America's supply of convenience store managers and possibly Motel 6 and
Super 8 managers.
 
And, if this action does not yield sufficient results, cab drivers will be
next, followed by Dell and AOL customer service reps.
 
Finally, if all else fails, they have threatened to send us no more
candidates for President of the United States!

Folks...It is going to get very ugly!!!

Now don't get your knickers in a knot...IT is meant as a JOKE! I heard it on the Comedy Channel last night, and the audience roared!!

~~~GB~~~
 
 

1483

The Coffee Shop / Another 'oldie' from the file cabinet!

« on: September 04, 2010, 05:53:10 pm »

SOUTHERN CHARM

 

Two informally dressed ladies happened to start up a conversation during an endless wait at the airport.

The first lady was an arrogant California woman married to a wealthy man.

The second was a well mannered elderly woman from the South.

When the conversation centered on whether they had any children, the California woman started by saying, "When my first child was born, my husband built a beautiful mansion for me."

The lady from the South commented, "Well, isn't that precious?"

The first woman continued, "When my second child was born, my husband bought me a beautiful Mercedes-Benz..

Again, the lady from the South commented, "Well, isn't that precious?"

The first woman continued boasting, "Then, when my third child was born, my husband bought me this exquisite diamond bracelet.

Yet again, the Southern lady commented, "Well, isn't that precious?"

The first woman then asked her companion, "What did your husband buy for you when you had your first child?"

"My husband sent me to charm school," said the Southern lady.

"Charm school?" the first woman cried,

"Oh, my God! What on earth for?"

The Southern lady responded,

"Well for example, instead of saying "Who gives a S*^#?" I learned to say, "Well, isn't that precious"....

~~~GB~~~

1484

General Scroll Saw Talk / Multi Function tools from Harbor Freight!!!

« on: September 04, 2010, 12:26:54 pm »

Received this today a.m. > > >

http://www.harborfreightusa.com/usa/common/displayCoupon.do?hdr=mag&week=3510&campaign=C_MFT1&page=3510C_MFT1.html&cust=99999999999&keycode=0000

I have no idea how good or bad they are but I like the idea of that 'pneumatic' one for my shop. Might have to stop there tomorrow and check it out!

~~~GB~~~

1485

The Coffee Shop / Gotta love the SENIORS!

« on: September 03, 2010, 12:48:01 pm »

"WHERE is my SUNDAY paper?!" the irate customer calling the
newspaper office, loudly demanded.

"Madam", said the newspaper employee, "today is Saturday.  The Sunday paper is not delivered until tomorrow, on SUNDAY".

There was quite a long pause on the other end of the phone,
followed by a ray of recognition as she was heard to mutter, 
"Well, s%&#, so that's why no one was at church today."

~~~GB~~~