Topics

1291

The Coffee Shop / Penguins.....

« on: November 06, 2010, 11:42:43 am »

I never knew this.

Penguins
 

 
Did you ever wonder why there are no dead penguins
on the ice in   Antarctica  - where do they go ?
                                   
Wonder no more ! ! !

It is a known fact that the penguin is a very ritualistic
bird which lives an extremely ordered and complex life.


The penguin is very committed to its family and will
mate for life, as well as maintaining a form of
compassionate contact with its offspring throughout its life.


If a penguin is found dead on the ice surface, other
members of the family and social circle have been
known to dig holes in  the ice, using their vestigial
wings and beaks, until the hole is deep enough for
the dead bird to be rolled into and buried.
The male penguins then gather in a circle
around the fresh grave and sing:


 

                        "Freeze a jolly good fellow"
 
                        "Freeze a jolly good fellow."


                         "Then they kick him in the ice hole."
 
                     
                       
         You really didn't believe that I know
          anything about penguins, did you!

~~~GB~~~

1292

The Coffee Shop / Late Night Seminar....

« on: November 06, 2010, 11:40:12 am »

I was stopped by the police at midnight and asked where I'm going.

?I?m on the way to listen to a lecture about the effects of alcohol abuse on the human body.?

The policeman asked me, ?Really?
And who?s going to give a lecture at this time of night??

?My wife?, I responded

~~~GB~~~

1293

The Coffee Shop / Perceptions are 'different' in the country....

« on: November 06, 2010, 11:23:37 am »

When you're from the country ~ your perception is a little different...

A Kansas rancher in his pickup, drove to a neighbor's and knocked at the door.
A boy, about 9, opened the door.
"Is your Dad home?"
"No sir, he isn't; he went to town."
"Well, is your Mother here?"
"No sir, she went to town with Dad."
"How about your brother, Howard? Is he here?"
"No sir, He went with Mom and Dad."
The rancher stood there for a few minutes, shifting from one foot to the other and mumbling to himself.
"Is there anything I can do for you? I know where all the tools are, if you want to borrow one, or I can give dad a message."
"Well," said the rancher uncomfortably,
"I really wanted to talk to your Dad. It's about your brother Howard getting my daughter, Suzie, pregnant."'

The boy thought for a moment.
"You would have to talk to Dad about that. I know he charges $500 for the bull and $50 for the hog but I don't know how much he charges for Howard."

~~~GB~~~

1294

General Scroll Saw Talk / For our VETS!

« on: November 05, 2010, 06:32:27 pm »

Watch this without tearing up!

http://www.youtube.com/watch_popup?v=5MtdIO23MKM

~~~GrayBeard~~~

1295

The Coffee Shop / "The Broken Zipper"!

« on: November 05, 2010, 05:15:00 pm »

Watch this 'preacher'....

~~~GB~~~

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qWH-VToohro

1296

General Scroll Saw Talk / My Oak Table, Restored!

« on: November 05, 2010, 04:56:52 pm »

In All Its Glory!

~~~GB~~~

1297

General Scroll Saw Talk / WoodCraft 'email' Flyer!

« on: November 05, 2010, 01:23:56 pm »

This looks like a bargain...

Opinions???

~~~GB~~~

http://www.woodcraft.com/Product/2081562/31378/Plywood-Bundle.aspx?refcode=10IN11RL

1298

General Scroll Saw Talk / F Y I...Baltic Birch

« on: November 05, 2010, 01:21:02 pm »

Woodcraft catalog page....

http://www.woodcraft.com/Family/2004113/2004113.aspx

~~~GrayBeard~~~

1299

The Coffee Shop / Drinking too much COFFEE?

« on: November 05, 2010, 11:12:33 am »

=: 14 Signs You're Drinking Too Much Coffee :=

~ Starbucks is accepting bids for a franchise located in your house.

~ The National Bank of Columbia has offered you a Platinum Visa card with zero percent interest.

~ Folgers has offered you a "distributors" franchise for your block.

~ Your co-workers are getting rich buying stock in companies that manufacture foam coffee cups.

~ You just went to the store and bought ten cases of non-diary creamer "to get you through the week".

~ Those strange footprints in the ceiling of your office.

~ You haven't slept in a week and no one notices, not even you.

~ You find yourself sneezing Folger's Crystals.

~ Juan Valdez starts sending you hand-written Thank You notes.

~ You eat garlic to overcome coffee breath.

~ Your dentist upgrades to a belt sander.

~ Alvin & the Chipmunks start to sound like Barry White.

~ Auctioneers begin to make sense.

And the number 1 Sign You've Had Too Much Coffee...

~ YYoouu ssttaarrtt ttyyppiinng lliikkee tthhiiss..

[author unknown]

1300

The Coffee Shop / Some Outdoorsmen are just plain Stupid!

« on: November 05, 2010, 01:28:46 am »

"If you are this dumb....stay home!

~~~GB~~~

1301

The Coffee Shop / And more "Creative WoodWorking!"

« on: November 05, 2010, 01:25:35 am »

See! I made if FIT just fine!"

~~~GB~~~

1302

The Coffee Shop / Animal "funnies"...2

« on: November 05, 2010, 01:22:54 am »

The "fetch" master!

~~~GB~~~

1303

The Coffee Shop / Woman Shot in Head....details at 10:00!

« on: November 04, 2010, 07:49:59 pm »

Linda Burnett, 23, a resident of San Diego, was visiting her in-laws and while there went to a nearby supermarket to pick up some groceries. Later, her husband noticed her sitting in her car in the driveway with the windows rolled up and with her eyes closed, with both hands behind the back of her head. He became concerned and walked over to the car. He noticed  that Linda's eyes were now open and she looked very  strange. He asked her if she was okay, and Linda replied that she had been shot in the back of the head and had been holding her brains in for over an  hour.
 
The husband called the paramedics, who broke into the car because the doors were locked and Linda refused to remove her hands from her head.
 
When they finally got in, they found that Linda had a wad of bread dough on the back of her head.  A Pillsbury biscuit canister had exploded from the heat, making a loud noise that sounded like a gunshot, and the wad of dough hit her in the back of her head. When she reached back to find out what it was, she felt the dough and thought it was her brains. She initially passed out, but quickly recovered.
 
Linda is blonde, a Republican and a Palin supporter but that could all be a coincidence.
 
The defective biscuit canister was analyzed and it was determined, of course, to be Obama's  fault.

Heck...I don't know if it is true or not but it IS Funny! and Possible!

~~~GB~~~

1304

The Coffee Shop / I got Mine!

« on: November 04, 2010, 08:28:59 am »

Came in just a few minutes ago!

Let the 'selection' begin!!!

And then the 'preparation'!

~~~GrayBeard~~~

1305

The Coffee Shop / What's UP????????

« on: November 04, 2010, 12:36:07 am »

Everybody busy sawing?

This place is dead!

~~~GB~~~