Topics

1276

The Coffee Shop / That "Popping" sound you hear is Grampa's buttons flying off his vest!

« on: November 09, 2010, 02:35:41 pm »

Lt. Michael J. Smith, Jr. USN is NOW a "Carrier Qualified" F-18 pilot!

He flew out of San Diego last Thursday and made his FIRST carrier landing about 2 hours later aboard the "Nimitz"!

Quote..."I saw that tiny spec in the ocean and said to myself, 'Kid you will never hit that S.O.B!'" A little bit later he went through serious G forces as he went from 150 mph to ZERO in about 150 feet and his headset called out "GOTCHA" and he pulled the throttle back and breathed again! Then for the next two days he did it again and again and again.....and then flew back to San Diego as a "Carrier Qualified Pilot"!
He's been dreaming of this for 18 years. Started talking about it in kindergarten.
"Top Gun" is next!

Way to Go, Mick!

He is MY GrandSon!

~~~GB~~~

1277

The Coffee Shop / Positive PROOF of "Global Warming"!

« on: November 09, 2010, 09:25:13 am »

Here it is! Indisputable Proof!

~~~GB~~~

1278

The Coffee Shop / New Young Priest "Modernizes" the OLD Church!

« on: November 09, 2010, 09:13:55 am »

Elderly Priest


 

The elderly priest, speaking to the younger priest, said, 'It was a good idea to replace the first four rows of pews with plush bucket theater seats.


 

It worked like a charm. The front of the church always fills first now.'

The young priest nodded, and the old priest continued, 'And you told me a little more beat to the music would bring young people back to the church, so I supported you when you brought in that rock 'n roll gospel choir. We are packed to the balcony!!'

'Thank you, Father,' answered the young priest. 'I am pleased that you are open to the new ideas of youth.'
 
'However,' said the elderly priest, 'I'm afraid you've gone too far with the drive-through confessional.'


 

'But, Father,' protested the young priest, 'my confessions and the donations have nearly doubled since I began that!'

'I know, son, but that flashing neon sign, "Toot 'n Tell or Go to Hell," just can't stay on the church roof!

1279

The Coffee Shop / Giving up Chocolate! (for the 'girls')

« on: November 09, 2010, 09:08:29 am »

Giving Up Chocolate

I was walking down the street when I was accosted by a particularly dirty and shabby-looking homeless woman who asked me for a couple of dollars for dinner.
 
I took out my wallet, got out ten dollars and asked,  'If I give you this money, will you buy chocolate with it instead of   dinner?' 
 
'No, I had to stop eating chocolate years ago', the   homeless woman told me.
 
'Will you use it to go shopping instead  of buying food?' I asked.
 
'No, I don't waste time shopping,' the  homeless woman said. 'I need to spend all my time trying to stay   alive.'
 
'Will you spend this on a beauty salon instead of food?' 

I asked.
 
'Are you NUTS!' replied the homeless woman. I haven't  had my hair done in 20 years!'
 
'Well, I said, 'I'm not going to  give you the money. Instead, I'm going to take you out for dinner with  my husband and me tonight.'
 
The  homeless Woman was shocked. 'Won't your husband be furious with you for  doing that? I know I'm dirty, and I probably smell pretty disgusting.'   
 
I said, 'That's okay. It's important for him to see what a woman looks like after she has given up shopping, hair appointments, and chocolate.' 

~~~GB~~~

1280

The Coffee Shop / Garage Door #6

« on: November 09, 2010, 09:03:48 am »

This should bring the neighbors around (maybe the liquor control board too!).

~~~GB~~~

1281

General Scroll Saw Talk / CPO Outlet...Recon. Tools

« on: November 09, 2010, 08:16:37 am »

Got an email from them this morning and they set up a Warehouse store on-line.

Next 48 hours..Free Shipping with $99 order.

Rigid combo belt/Spindle sander $169 + Free Shipping.

~~~GB~~~

<http://www.reconditionedtools.com/>

1282

The Coffee Shop / Garage Door #4

« on: November 08, 2010, 11:55:32 pm »

How about your neighbors seeing this in your garage?

1283

The Coffee Shop / Garage Door #3

« on: November 07, 2010, 09:25:45 pm »

How about this one?

1284

The Coffee Shop / The Dog that found Jesus!

« on: November 07, 2010, 09:23:31 pm »

A  Nativity Scene was erected in a church yard.

During the night the folks came across this scene.

An abandoned dog was looking for a comfortable, protected place to sleep. He chose baby Jesus as his comfort.  No one had the heart to send  him away so he was there all  night.
 
   We  should all have the good sense of this dog and curl up in Jesus' lap  from time to  time.

1285

The Coffee Shop / Garage Door - #2

« on: November 07, 2010, 06:23:44 pm »

Got a pesty neighbor?
Put this on your garage door!

1286

The Coffee Shop / Tired of your 'boring' garage door? #1

« on: November 07, 2010, 11:37:01 am »

Decals now available to 'dress it up'!

1287

The Coffee Shop / Catch you all later....

« on: November 06, 2010, 06:08:33 pm »

I have to go work hockey at the local rink tonite.

High School "Gold Cup Challenge Match"!

Over 1,200 tickets sold already and that is just the 'pre-sale' so we will likely have over 1,500 before the game starts!
Biggest crowd I have worked so far was 650.

Gonna be a busy night for the door keepers (me). We have 6 Park Rangers (full police powers) also working to check purses and backpacks for drugs, booze and illegal noisemakers!
Nice commentary on High School Athletics and the fans!

~~~GB~~~

1288

General Scroll Saw Talk / DeWalt "Rumor" going around....

« on: November 06, 2010, 04:44:00 pm »

Rumor is that DeWalt is going to 'discontinue' the Yellow 788 and Rick replied ...

If you follow the threads that have been written on many of the forums in the last 6 months it may be right.
Buy Delta 20" Variable Speed Scroll Saw, Model 40-690 at Woodcraft.com
The Dewalt may now be the new Delta. I sure don't understand the reason, but it sure looks to me like that is what is happening.
__________________
Rick Hutcheson
http://www.scrollsaws.com

Anybody here heard anything? Dan???  Steve???

~~~GrayBeard~~~

1289

The Coffee Shop / Don't 'underestimate' Older Gents!

« on: November 06, 2010, 01:41:06 pm »

The banker saw his old friend Tom, an eighty-year old rancher, in town.

Tom had lost his wife a year or so before and rumor had it that he was

marrying a 'mail order' bride.

Being a good friend, the banker asked Tom if the rumor was true.

Tom assured him that it was. The banker then asked Tom the age of his new bride to be.
Tom proudly said, 'She'll be twenty-one in November.'
Now the banker, being the wise man that he was, could see that the sexual appetite of a young woman could not be satisfied by an eighty-year-old man.

Wanting his old friend's remaining years to be happy the banker tactfully suggested that Tom should consider getting a hired hand to help him out on the ranch, knowing nature would take its own course.

Tom thought this was a good idea and said he would look for one that afternoon.

About four months later, the banker ran into Tom in town again.

'How's the new wife?', asked the banker.

Tom proudly said, 'Great - she's pregnant.'

The banker, happy that his sage advice had worked out, continued, '  And how's the hired hand?'

Without hesitating, Tom said,   

'She's pregnant too.'


Don't EVER underestimate Old Guys!

1290

The Coffee Shop / Longest "Password"

« on: November 06, 2010, 12:09:28 pm »

During a recent password audit, it was found that a blonde was
using the following password:
 
"MickeyMinniePlutoHueyLouieDeweyDonaldGoofySacramento"
 
 
 
When asked why she had such a long password, she said, she was
told that "it had to be at least 8 characters long and include at least one capital."

~~~GB~~~