Topics

1246

The Coffee Shop / Install it yourself Home Security System......

« on: November 23, 2010, 11:33:32 am »

INSTALL A HOMEMADE SECURITY SYSTEM

1. Go to a secondhand store and buy a pair of men's well used size 14-16 work boots.

2. Place them on your front porch, along with a copy of Guns & Ammo Magazine.

3. Put a three giant dog dishes next to the boots and magazine.

4 Leave a note on your door that reads:

Bubba,

Bertha, Duke, Slim, & I went to store for more ammo and beer. 
Back in an hour. 
Don't mess with the pit bulls - they attacked the mailman this morning and messed him up bad. 
I don't think Killer took part, but it was hard to tell from all the blood. 
Anyways, I locked them in the house.

Better wait outside.  Be right back.
Hooter

1247

General Scroll Saw Talk / Oak Table, final update...

« on: November 23, 2010, 11:27:08 am »

Here it is with the chairs in place.

Very Happy with the results.

~~~GB~~~

1248

The Coffee Shop / Two Nuns ...new to the USA.....

« on: November 23, 2010, 11:14:32 am »

Two foreign nuns have just arrived in the USA by boat and one says to the other, "I hear that the people of this country actually eat dogs."

"Odd," her companion replies, "but if we shall live in America, we might as well do as the Americans do."

Nodding emphatically, the Mother Superior points to a hot dog vendor and they both walk towards the cart.

"Two dogs, please," says one.

The vendor is only too pleased to oblige and he wraps both hot dogs in foil and hands them over the counter. Excited, the nuns hurry over to a bench and begin to unwrap their 'dogs'.

The Mother Superior is first to open hers. She begins to blush and then, staring at it for a moment, leans over to the other nun and whispers cautiously, "What part did you get?"

<rimshot>

~~~GB~~~

1249

The Coffee Shop / This is just plain RIDICULOUS!!!

« on: November 21, 2010, 01:06:39 pm »

Watch this video and decide if this is 'PROTECTING YOU' as an airline passenger!!!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=skkCpnCm7iM

~~~GrayBeard~~~

1250

General Scroll Saw Talk / Ornament Exchange, a Thought!

« on: November 21, 2010, 12:48:16 pm »

We're all chattering back and forth about the "Ornament Exchange" and a thought just occurred to me...

There's only one way it could have happened!

we owe a big THANK YOU to our special moderator in charge!

We are all having the fun but he did the work to make it happen!

"A special toast to Russ C.!"

~~~GrayBeard~~~

1251

The Coffee Shop / This just in from my "Atlanta" friend....

« on: November 21, 2010, 12:18:14 am »

Things you can say on Thanksgiving that would get you 'slapped' at any other time!

Talk about a huge breast!
Tying the legs together keeps the inside moist.
It's Cool Whip time!
If I don't undo my pants, I'll burst!
That's one terrific spread!
Are you ready for seconds yet?
Its a little dry, do you still want to eat it?
Just wait your turn, you'll get some!
Don't play with your meat.
Just spread the legs open & stuff it in.
Do you think you'll be able to handle all these people at once?
You still have a little bit on your chin.
How long will it take after you stick it in?
You'll know it's ready when it pops up.

Thanks...Bob!

~~~GB~~~

1252

The Coffee Shop / I Just Received.....

« on: November 20, 2010, 04:13:55 pm »

an interesting looking package from a 'fellow' scroller!!!

Wonder of Wonders, What can it BE?!?!?!?!?

Now time for ME to get busy!

~~~GB~~~

1253

The Coffee Shop / New Diet!

« on: November 20, 2010, 01:17:49 pm »

My friend went to his cardiologist yesterday and got a new diet!

"If it tastes good...SPIT IT OUT!"

~~~GrayBeard~~~

1254

The Coffee Shop / The Window Through Which We Look...

« on: November 19, 2010, 12:13:19 pm »

A young couple moves into a new neighborhood.
The next morning while they are eating breakfast,
The young woman sees her neighbor hanging the wash outside.
"That laundry is not very clean", she said.
"She doesn't know how to wash correctly.
Perhaps she needs better laundry soap."

Her husband looked on, but remained silent..

Every time her neighbor would hang her wash to dry,
The young woman would make the same comments.

About one month later, the woman was surprised to see a
Nice clean wash on the line and said to her husband:

"Look, she has learned how to wash correctly.
 I wonder who taught her this."

The husband said, "I got up early this morning and
Cleaned our windows."
 
And so it is with life. What we see when watching others
Depends on the purity of the window through which we look.

How CLEAN are my windows?

~~~GB~~~

1255

The Coffee Shop / Hilarious Commercial! (Young Adult!)

« on: November 17, 2010, 09:19:48 pm »

IF you don't chuckle or at least grin please have someone check your pulse!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Rx7s-sk-8ns&NR=1

~~~GB~~~

1256

General Scroll Saw Talk / Finally GAVE UP!

« on: November 17, 2010, 05:51:21 pm »

One o' THEM Days!
I felt like Jesus performing miracles! Except everything I 'touched' turned to CRAP!

Finally gave up and sat there sorting patterns and putting them with the wood to cut another time!

Bah! HumBug!

~~~GB~~~

1257

The Coffee Shop / For the Ladies.....

« on: November 16, 2010, 07:37:49 pm »

Just got this from "Maxine"...

Housework was a woman's job, but one evening, Janice arrived home from work to find the children bathed, one load of laundry in the washer and another in the dryer Dinner was on the stove, and the table set. She was astonished!

It turns out that Chuck had read an article that said, 'Wives who work full-time and had to do their own housework were too tired to have sex'.

The night went very well. The next day, Janice told her Red Hat friends all about it. 'We had a great dinner. Chuck even cleaned up the kitchen. He helped the kids do their homework, folded all the laundry and put it away. I really enjoyed the evening.'

'But what about afterward?' asked her friends.

'Oh, that.......... Chuck was too tired.'

God is good

1258

The Coffee Shop / This is Fantastic!

« on: November 16, 2010, 03:41:34 pm »

Watch this and ENJOY!!!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wp_RHnQ-jgU

600+ choir members sing in the main area of the Macy's store in Philadelphia!

~~~GrayBeard~~~

1259

General Scroll Saw Talk / Painting / Finishing question....

« on: November 14, 2010, 06:09:19 pm »

I'm doing some Christmas stuff out of Aspen and I want to apply a "sort of White" finish but not paint it.
Would like for 'some' of the grain to show through.
I guess it would be called a 'wash'.

Any recipes?

~~~GB~~~

1260

The Coffee Shop / Rescued Hummingbird!

« on: November 13, 2010, 02:15:07 pm »

Watch!

http://www.wimp.com/babyhummingbird/

~~~GB~~~