Topics

1201

The Coffee Shop / More "Seasons' Greetings"...

« on: December 08, 2010, 07:43:04 pm »

http://ak.imgag.com/imgag/product/preview/flash/bws8Shell_fps24.swf?ihost=http://ak.imgag.com/imgag&brandldrPath=/product/full/el/&cardNum=/product/full/ap/3166187/graphic1

Happy Christmas and Merry New Year!

~~~GB~~~

1202

The Coffee Shop / The "Bacon Tree"....

« on: December 08, 2010, 06:37:45 pm »

This might have been posted but still funny!
 

Two Mexicans are stuck in the desert after crossing into the United States , wandering aimlessly and starving.

They are about to just lie down and wait for death, when all of a sudden Luis says...

"Hey Pepe, do you smell what I smell.
Ees bacon, I theenk."

"Si, Luis, eet sure smells like bacon."

With renewed hope they struggle up the next sand dune, & there, in the distance, is a tree loaded with bacon.

There's raw bacon, there's fried bacon, back bacon, double smoked bacon .... Every imaginable kind of cured pork.

"Pepe, Pepe, we ees saved. Ees a bacon tree."

"Luis, maybe ees a meerage?  We ees in the desert don't forget."

"Pepe, since when deed you ever hear of a meerage that smell like bacon... Ees no meerage, ees a bacon tree."

And with that, Luis staggers towards the tree. He gets to within 5 metres, Pepe crawling close behind, when suddenly a machine gun opens up, and Luis drops like a wet sock. Mortally wounded, he warns Pepe with his dying breath,

"Pepe... Go back man, you was right, ees not a bacon tree!"

"Luis, Luis MI amigo... What ees it? "

"Pepe.. Ees not a bacon tree. 

Ees

Ees

Ees

Ees

Ees a ham bush...

Bet you tried the 'accent' didn't you!

~~~GB~~~

1203

The Coffee Shop / Cherie Lee....

« on: December 08, 2010, 12:08:21 pm »

I received an email from Cherie this morning. She appreciates the offers of 'help'!

I have replied and asked for her mailing address and will give it out to anyone who would like to send me an email directly. I don't feel it is safe or responsible to post the address here or anywhere else so you'll have to go through me to get it.

I'm not soliciting that 'help' be sent to me but that I will give you her address if you wish to send her a little Christmas Cheer!

We all probably 'drop a dime in the bucket' during the holidays so I am going to drop some in a bucket that I know needs a very specific help!

OK..while I was typing this she replied with even greater "THANKS" and I now have her mailing address.

If you want to help an Internet friend send me an email and I will reply with Cherie's address!

My Specific email address just for this purpose is...<gramped@inbox.com>

~~~GrayBeard~~~

1204

The Coffee Shop / A Christmas Story

« on: December 07, 2010, 08:00:28 pm »

When four of Santa's elves got sick, the trainee elves did not produce toys as fast as the regular ones, and Santa began to feel the Pre-Christmas pressure.

Then Mrs. Claus told Santa her Mother was coming to visit, which stressed Santa even more.

When he went to harness the reindeer, he found that three of them were about to give birth and two others had jumped the fence and were out, Heaven knows where.

Then when he began to load the sleigh, one of the floorboards cracked, the toy bag fell to the ground and all the toys were scattered.

Frustrated, Santa went in the house for a cup of apple cider and a shot of rum. When he went to the cupboard, he discovered the elves had drunk all the cider and hidden the liquor.. In his frustration, he accidentally dropped the cider jug, and it broke into hundreds of little glass pieces all over the kitchen floor. He went to get the broom and found the mice had eaten all the straw off the end of the broom.

Just then the doorbell rang, and an irritated Santa marched to the door, yanked it open, and there stood a little angel with a great big Christmas tree.

The angel said very cheerfully, 'Merry Christmas, Santa. Isn't this a lovely day? I have a beautiful tree for you. Where would you like me to put it?'

And thus began the tradition of the little angel on top of the Christmas tree.

1205

The Coffee Shop / Damnation...It is COOOOOOLD!!!

« on: December 07, 2010, 07:46:28 pm »

Currently 25? F and predicted low tonight is 16?!

High tomorrow might reach 28?....

Two heaters going in the garage and still couldn't get it above 48?.

Will just have to 'suspend' operations until the weekend when they are predicting highs in the mid 50's...WHOOOOOOPEEEEE.

God please help all the 'growers' down South!

~~~GB~~~

1206

The Coffee Shop / The sermon.....

« on: December 07, 2010, 07:40:34 pm »

     For those of you
who may have
 
 missed church on Sunday,
 
here is a recap!
       
 
 
 Four Worms and an Important Lesson!

 

A minister decided that a
visual demonstration would add
emphasis to his Sunday sermon.

 
 Four worms were placed into four separate cans.

The first worm was put into a container of alcohol.
 
The second worm was put into a container of cigarette smoke.
 
The third worm was put into a container of chocolate syrup.
 
The fourth worm was put
into a container of good clean soil.

 
 At the conclusion of the sermon, the Minister reported the following results:

The first worm in alcohol  --
Dead!

   
The second worm in cigarette smoke --
 Dead!

 
Third worm in chocolate syrup --   
Dead!

 
 

Fourth worm in good clean soil -   

Alive!!


 So the Minister asked the congregation --
What can you learn from this demonstration?

Maxine, who was sitting in the front pew,
 quickly raised her hand and said,

"As long as you drink, smoke, and eat chocolate,
 you won't have worms!"

That pretty much ended the service . .     

1207

Pattern Requests. / Cross and Dove....

« on: December 07, 2010, 03:58:38 pm »

Somewhere I saw a "cross" with a dove 'appliqued' to the front in a different wood.
I thought I kept a copy but can't find it anywhere.

Any of you all know where I might find the original or something like it?

~~~GrayBeard~~~

1208

The Coffee Shop / Inspirational Christmas Story!

« on: December 07, 2010, 03:50:35 pm »

  Four brothers left home for college, and they
became successful doctors and lawyers and prospered.
Some years later, they chatted after having dinner
together. They discussed the gifts they were able
to give their elderly mother for Christmas
who lived far away in another city.

The first said, "I had a big house built for Mama."
The second said, " I had a hundred thousand dollar
theater built in the house."
The third said, "I had my Mercedes dealer
deliver an SL600 to her."
 
The fourth said, "You know how Mama loved reading
the Bible and you know she can't read anymore
because she can't see very well.
I met this preacher who told me about a parrot
that can recite the entire Bible.
It took twenty preachers 12 years to teach him.
I had to pledge to contribute $100,000 a year
for twenty years to the church, but it was worth it.
Mama just has to name the chapter and verse
and the parrot will recite it."
The other brothers were impressed.
After the holidays Mom sent out her Thank You notes.

She wrote: "Milton, the house you built is so huge
I live in only one room, but I have to clean the
whole house. Thanks anyway."

"Marvin, I am too old to travel. I stay home,
 I have my groceries delivered, so I never use
the Mercedes. The thought was good. Thanks."

"Michael, you gave me an expensive theater with Dolby
 sound, it could  hold 50 people, but all of my friends
are dead, I've lost my hearing and I'm nearly blind.
I'll never use it.
Thank you for the gesture just the same."

"Dearest Melvin,
 you were the only son to have the good
 sense to give a little thought to your gift.
The chicken was delicious.
Thank you."
 

~~~GB~~~

1209

The Coffee Shop / It's a GIRL!

« on: December 07, 2010, 12:49:04 pm »

First Great Grand-Daughter!

Mom and Baby doing fine!

New 'Navy Pilot Dad' is in the clouds today without a plane!!!

~~~GrayBeard~~~

1210

The Coffee Shop / An AWESOME Christmas Card.....

« on: December 06, 2010, 11:26:21 pm »

Greetings of the SEASON to all my 'Forum Friends'....

~~~GrayBeard~~~

Click this link....and Enjoy!
http://www.jacquielawson.com/viewcard.asp?code=2007134554829&source=jl999

1211

The Coffee Shop / Nice Surprise!

« on: December 06, 2010, 05:05:54 pm »

I did a small favor for a "Kiwi" and received a very nice Christmas card and a surprise ornament!

Sure is interesting going to the mailbox nowadays! I never know from whence my mail might be coming....

Thank You, Merlin!

That was a very nice gesture....

~~~GB~~~

1212

The Coffee Shop / Interesting info....Smokey Bear!

« on: December 06, 2010, 12:11:13 am »

brought on by my comment about Smokey Bear in  another thread ...

American Icon...Forest Fire Prevention...Bambi or Bear?
Bambi or Bear?

Walt Disney's motion picture, "Bambi" was produced in 1944 and Disney let the forest fire prevention campaign use his creation on a poster. The "Bambi" poster was a success and proved that using an animal as a fire prevention symbol would work. A fawn could not be used in subsequent campaigns because "Bambi" was on loan from Walt Disney studios for only one year; the Forest Service would need to find an animal that would belong to the Cooperative Forest Fire Prevention Campaign. It was finally decided that the Nation's number one firefighter should be a bear.

On August 9, 1944, the first poster of Smokey Bear was prepared. The poster depicted a bear pouring a bucket of water on a campfire. Smokey Bear soon became popular, and his image began appearing on other posters and cards. In 1952, Smokey Bear had enough public recognition to attract commercial interest. An Act of Congress passed to take Smokey out of the public domain and place him under the control of the Secretary of Agriculture. The Act provided for the use of collected royalties and fees for continued education on forest fire prevention. We still have a lot of work to do. The Smokey Bear wildfire prevention message is as vital today as ever before.
Each new generation must be reminded of their role in wildfire prevention.

Those 'wildfires' are some of the most destructive and among the hardest to fight.

"Let's be CAREFUL out there!"

~~~GB~~~

1213

The Coffee Shop / Sent "Janet" an email to see how she's doing....

« on: December 05, 2010, 09:44:18 pm »

Her reply...

"I'm good.  I had a "down" computer for a while.  Just got my new one.  Not a lot of forum time though.  I think I need to book time... like a certain slot every week to be my forum time.  hehehe.
Janet"

~~~GB~~~

1214

Pattern Requests. / I had a request yesterday....

« on: December 05, 2010, 04:24:13 pm »

for the "Pillsbury Doughboy"!!!

Any of you 'designers' want to take a shot at it?

~~~GB~~~

1215

The Coffee Shop / I am "Pooped"!

« on: December 05, 2010, 04:19:30 pm »

Worked the usual two hockey games Fri. night.
One was the best game I have seen in 4 years of working at the rink.
Two undefeated teams working toward their divisions's championship this year. 3 - 2 final and fast and furious from start to finish. Those kids needed NO Lullabies Fri. night after that exertion!
Great crowd of appreciative parents and students...over 600 in attendance for a High School game!

Saturday...
Craft Fair from 9 to 4 and two more hockey games last night!
Got home just before 11:00!!! Made for too long a day for this ol' man!

Not much action at the 'fair'...sold just over $100.
People just don't want to pay for 'nice' merchandise! Lots of "OOOH's and AAAAh's but when they see the price they walk away.  

Now to get busy making the gifts for the family...
 but TODAY I am straightening up and RESTING!
Will get busy cutting tomorrow....

~~~GrayBeard~~~