Topics

121

The Coffee Shop / This will touch your heart strings,

« on: January 29, 2013, 05:26:24 pm »

This is for all the grandfathers out there.
 
Last week, I took my grandchildren to a restaurant.
 
My six-year-old grand-son asked if he could say grace.
 
As we bowed our heads he said, "God is good, God is great. Thank you for
 the food,
 and I would even thank you more
 if Grandpa gets us ice cream for dessert.
 And liberty and justice for all! Amen!"
 
Along with the laughter from the other customers nearby,
 I heard a woman remark,
 "That's what's wrong with this country.
 Kids today don't even know how to pray.
 Asking God for ice cream! Why, I never!"
 
Hearing this, my grand-son burst into tears and asked me,
 "Did I do it wrong? Is God mad at me?"
 
As I held him and assured him that he had done a terrific job, and God was
 certainly not mad at him,
 an elderly gentleman approached the table.
 
He winked at my grand-son and said,
 "I happen to know that God thought that was a great prayer."
 
"Really?" my grand-son asked.
 
"Cross my heart," the man replied.
 
Then, in a theatrical whisper, he added
 (indicating the woman whose remark
 had started this whole thing),
 
"Too bad she never asks God for ice cream.
 A little ice cream is good for the soul sometimes."
 
Naturally, I bought my grand-children ice cream at the end of the meal.
 My grand-son stared at his for a moment,
 and then did something I will remember the
 rest of my life.
 
He picked up his sundae and, without a word,
 walked over and placed it in front of the woman.
 
With a big smile he told her,
 
"Here, this is for you.
 Shove it where the sun don't shine you grouchy old witch! "

 
Touches the heart doesn't it?

King, I had you in mind while I read this.

122

The Coffee Shop / Decal Paper

« on: January 21, 2013, 07:56:17 pm »

I was watching a video on U Tube and they mentioned a type of paper with a plastic surface. You can type what you want on this paper, cut out the image, submerge it in water, the decal seperates and you can apply it to the item. I am thinking this would be a great way to personalise all the pens I will be making.  . Anyone got info to share on this?

123

Brag Forum / Portriat

« on: January 19, 2013, 10:56:17 am »

here is the progress so far on the pattern that Don made for me some time ago. It was hard cutting, emotionally, but I am glad I did it. Now to finish the backing and frame. Thanks Don. aka Old Crow. It is cut from 1/4 BB that I ordered from Miesel this summer.

124

Brag Forum / Wolf

« on: January 19, 2013, 10:47:44 am »

This is one I finished a few weeks ago. It is one of Steve's and is cut from a slab off an old aspin that I cut down several years ago. It was not a good wood, no matter how much sanding it has a dirty look to it.

125

Brag Forum / My first pen

« on: January 19, 2013, 10:44:07 am »

This is my first pen. Not bad, ha. It is cut from olive wood and took me about an hour. Now I know I can do it, I must do it some more. It was easied than I thought. 

126

The Coffee Shop / Good morning.

« on: January 19, 2013, 08:43:39 am »

I pray that everyone is all rested up this morning, I know I am. It is Saturday, I was out the door ay 8:00am got the snow cleared away again. Got a good wood fire going in the shed had a fine breakfast with my lovely wife. Now I am going to turn my first pen, wish me luck. By the way, I hope everyone has a great day and that you enjoy what ever it is you plan to do. It is -17 degrees celcius here this morning. I have done a lot of reasearch on temperature. I believe temperature is directly related to how cold it is.  Have yourself a great day.

127

The Coffee Shop / Medical exam.

« on: January 17, 2013, 08:12:06 pm »

Medical examination..........
 While examining his lady patient, the doctor tells her: "Your heart, lungs, pulse & BP are fine. Now let me see that little thing which gets you ladies into all kinds of trouble."
The lady started taking off her panties.....
 Doctor, stopping her: "NO! NO! Please put on your clothes. Just show me your tongue."   

128

Pattern Requests. / I need your help with a pattern

« on: January 17, 2013, 05:28:42 pm »

A friend of mine asked me today if I could make something special for her to give her mother for mothers day.
The grandchildren's names are "Stephanie, Katie, Ethan and Aiden".
 I am having a vision of where the children's names are interlocked like a word search of crossword. With Grandmother at the top, the names in the middle and "We love you",  at the bottom."

What do you think, any takers. Of course any design will be appreciated.
Thanks
Clyde

129

The Coffee Shop / New canadian program to help the economy

« on: January 11, 2013, 05:57:40 pm »

EMPLOYEE NOTICE
 **************************
Due to the current financial situation caused by the slowdown in the economy, the Government has decided to implement a scheme to put workers of 50 years of age and above on early, mandatory retirement, thus creating jobs and reducing unemployment.
 
This scheme will be known as RAPE (Retire Aged People Early).
 
Persons selected to be RAPED can apply to the Government to be considered for the SHAFT program (Special Help After Forced Termination).
 
Persons who have been RAPED and SHAFTED will be reviewed under the SCREW program (System Covering Retired-Early Workers).
 
A person may be RAPED once, SHAFTED twice and SCREWED as many times as the Government deems appropriate.
 
Persons who have been RAPED could get AIDS (Additional Income for Dependents & Spouse) or HERPES (Half Earnings for Retired Personnel Early Severance).
 
Obviously persons who have AIDS or HERPES will not be SHAFTED or SCREWED any further by the Government.
 
Persons who are not RAPED and are staying on will receive as much $&#% (Special High Intensity Training) as possible. The Government has always prided themselves on the amount of $&#% they give our citizens.
 
Should you feel that you do not receive enough $&#%, please bring this to the attention of your MP, who has been trained to give you all the $&#% you can handle.
 
Sincerely,
 The Committee for Economic Value of Individual Lives (E.V.I.L.)
 
PS - Due to recent budget cuts and the rising cost of electricity, gas and oil, as well as current market conditions, The Light at the End of the Tunnel has been turned off.

130

The Coffee Shop / This is the big one

« on: January 10, 2013, 03:05:34 pm »

Well we usually have snow by now but not this year so far on this part of the island. That will change by tomorrow morning, we will be hit with a blizzard tonight and into tomorrow. Forecasters are predicting 70 to 80 cm, 28 to 32 inches. That is a lot of snow for us and very high winds. Wish us well and pray that we don't lose the power, I don't have a generator.

131

The Coffee Shop / Warning about E15 gas

« on: January 05, 2013, 08:17:23 pm »

We do not have access to this fuel yet but some of you might. If you do you should watch this video.

http://video.foxbusiness.com/v/2000862202001/

132

General Scroll Saw Talk / I know it is not scrolling but

« on: January 01, 2013, 12:45:35 pm »

I received a new mini laithe for Christmas. I have been looking around the web for supplies. It seens that supplies are expensive  for this hobbie. Any suggestions. Are there any pen turners out there and where do you get your stuff?  I ordered a starter kit from Rockler with FREE shipping but apparently not to Canada $%#$%^%.

133

The Coffee Shop / How are YOU feeling this morning

« on: January 01, 2013, 09:43:28 am »

Just curious, Todd did you find the tylenol?

Russ did you see the ball drop?

How are the rest of you fearing off this morning. I am fine, no headaches here, got up at about 9:00am, been puttering around since then. We will be having prime rib roast for supper. Going to the shed and getting a fire going maybe cut the bowl that Steve posted a few days ago. I got a new Haussmann mini laithe for Christmas but no knives yet. I plan to turn some pens. But that will be for a later post!  Have a good one everybody. 

134

The Coffee Shop / 12:00 newfoundland time

« on: December 31, 2012, 10:33:17 pm »

IT IS 12;00;30 IN NEWFOUNDLAND. happy new year ro all my friends on the forum. My wish for you is that only good things come your way in 2013. Thank you for your support during my difficult times in 2012. I am glad it is over.

135

The Coffee Shop / to lighten your day

« on: December 26, 2012, 10:36:44 am »

A 70 year old man goes to the doctor and asks that he have a sperm count done as he has recently married a much younger woman and is afraid that she would become pregnent. The doctor gives him a small sample bottle and tells him to come back in a few days with a sperm sample. Three days later he returns with the bottle. The doctor is suprised as the bottle is empty. He asks the man what happened and the man tells him the he went home and he tried with his left hamd, then his right hand but no luck. His wife tried with her left hand then her right, she tried with her teeth in and her teeth out but again no luck. They called the lady next door, she tried with her left, then her right, with her teeth in and with her teeth out but to no avail.  The doctor says you even had your neighbour try? Yes ,  the man said but she couldn't get the cover off the frigging bottle either.