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Topics - GrayBeard

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1036
The Coffee Shop / "Rose".....
« on: March 06, 2011, 05:41:07 pm »
The first day of school our professor introduced himself and challenged us to get to know someone we didn't already know. I stood up to look around when a gentle hand touched my shoulder.

I turned around to find a wrinkled, little old lady beaming up at me with a smile that lit up her entire being..

She said, 'Hi handsome. My name is Rose. I'm eighty-seven years old. Can I give you a hug?'

I laughed and enthusiastically responded, 'Of course you may!' and she gave me a giant squeeze..

'Why are you in college at such a young, innocent age?' I asked.

She jokingly replied, 'I'm here to meet a rich husband, get married, and have a couple of kids...'

'No seriously,' I asked. I was curious what may have motivated her to be taking on this challenge at her age.

'I always dreamed of having a college education and now I'm getting one!' she told me.

After class we walked to the student union building and shared a chocolate milkshake.

We became instant friends. Every day for the next three months we would leave class together and talk nonstop. I was always mesmerized listening to this 'time machine' as she shared her wisdom and experience with me..

Over the course of the year, Rose became a campus icon and she easily made friends wherever she went. She loved to dress up and she revelled in the attention bestowed upon her from the other students. She was living it up.

At the end of the semester we invited Rose to speak at our football banquet I'll never forget what she taught us. She was introduced and stepped up to the podium. As she began to deliver her prepared speech, she dropped her three by five cards on the floor.

Frustrated and a little embarrassed she leaned into the microphone and simply said, 'I'm sorry I'm so jittery. I gave up beer for Lent and this whiskey is killing me! I'll never get my speech back in order so let me just tell you what I know.'

As we laughed she cleared her throat and began, ' We do not stop playing because we are old; we grow old because we stop playing.

There are only four secrets to staying young, being happy, and achieving success. You have to laugh and find humour every day. You've got to have a dream. When you lose your dreams, you die.

We have so many people walking around who are dead and don't even know it!

There is a huge difference between growing older and growing up.

If you are nineteen years old and lie in bed for one full year and don't do one productive thing, you will turn twenty years old. If I am eighty-seven years old and stay in bed for a year and never do anything I will turn eighty-eight.

Anybody! Can grow older. That doesn't take any talent or ability. The idea is to grow up by always finding opportunity in change. Have no regrets.

The elderly usually don't have regrets for what we did, but rather for things we did not do. The only people who fear death are those with regrets..'

She concluded her speech by courageously singing 'The Rose.'

She challenged each of us to study the lyrics and live them out in our daily lives. At the year's end Rose finished the college degree she had begun all those months ago.

One week after graduation Rose died peacefully in her sleep.

Over two thousand college students attended her funeral in tribute to the wonderful woman who taught by example that it's never too late to be all you can possibly be.

When you finish reading this, please send this peaceful word of advice to your friends and family, they'll really enjoy it!

These words have been passed along in loving memory of ROSE.

REMEMBER, GROWING OLDER IS MANDATORY. GROWING UP IS OPTIONAL.
We make a Living by what we get.
We make a Life by what we give.


~~~GrayBeard~~~

1037
The Coffee Shop / Special Information - re: Catholic Church...
« on: March 06, 2011, 01:19:52 pm »
This information is for Catholics only.
It must not be divulged to non-Catholics. The less they know about our rituals & top secret code words, the better off they are.

AMEN: The only part of a prayer that everyone knows.

BULLETIN: Your receipt for attending Mass.

CHOIR: A group of people whose singing allows the rest of the Parish to lip-sync.

HOLY WATER: A liquid whose chemical formula is H2OLY.

HYMN: A song of praise usually sung in a key three octaves higher than that of the congregation's range.

RECESSIONAL HYMN: The last song at Mass often sung a little more quietly, since most of the people have already left.

INCENSE: Holy Smoke!

JESUITS: An order of priests known for their ability to find colleges with good basketball teams.

JONAH: The original 'Jaws' story.

JUSTICE: When kids have kids of their own.

KYRIE ELEISON: The only Greek words that most Catholics can recognize besides gyros and baklava. (for you non-Catholics it means Lord have mercy)

MAGI: The most famous trio to attend a baby shower.

MANGER: Where Mary gave birth to Jesus because Joseph wasn't covered by an HMO. (The Bible's way of showing us that holiday travel has always been rough.)

PEW: A medieval torture device still found in Catholic churches.

PROCESSION: The ceremonial formation at the beginning of Mass consisting of altar servers, the celebrant, and late parishioners looking for seats.

RECESSIONAL: The ceremonial procession at the conclusion of Mass led by parishioners trying to beat the crowd to the parking lot.

RELICS: People who have been going to Mass for so long, they actually know when to sit, kneel, and stand.

TEN COMMANDMENTS: The most important Top Ten list not given by David Letterman.

USHERS: The only people in the parish who don't know the seating capacity of a pew.

1038
The Coffee Shop / High HelthCare Cost?...Here's WHY!!!
« on: March 06, 2011, 12:47:36 pm »


Bubba had shingles.
Those of us who spend much time in a doctor's office should appreciate this! Doesn't it seem more and more that physicians are running their practices like an assembly line?
Here's what happened to Bubba:

Bubba walked into a doctor's office and the receptionist asked him what he had. Bubba said: 'Shingles.' So she wrote down his name, address, medical insurance number and told him to have a seat.

Fifteen minutes later a nurse's aide came out and asked Bubba what he had...
Bubba said, 'Shingles.' So she wrote down his height, weight, a complete medical history and told Bubba to wait in the examining room.

A half hour later a nurse came in and asked Bubba what he had. Bubba said, 'Shingles..' So the nurse gave Bubba a blood test, a blood pressure test, an electrocardiogram, and told Bubba to take off all his clothes and wait for the doctor.



An hour later the doctor came in and found Bubba sitting patiently in the nude and asked Bubba what he had.



Bubba said, 'Shingles.' The doctor asked, 'Where?'
Bubba said, 'Outside on the truck. Where do you want me to unload 'em??

1039
The Coffee Shop / To Ponder....
« on: March 03, 2011, 11:00:46 am »
If you have an apple and I have an apple and we exchange apples then you and I will still each have one apple.
But if you have an idea and I have an idea and we exchange these ideas, then each of us will have two ideas.

George Bernard Shaw

1040
The Coffee Shop / Do you believe this .....
« on: March 02, 2011, 09:19:58 pm »
? Wed Mar 2, 8:24 am ET
ATHERTON, Calif. ? A California school teacher was placed on paid administrative leave after he rattled a table to get the attention of his math students, startling an eighth-grade girl who used her cell phone to call police.
Atherton police Sgt. Tim Lynch tells the Palo Alto Daily News that officers went to Selby Lane School Tuesday afternoon because of reports a teacher was causing a disturbance.
Officers found a calm teacher with class in session.
The sergeant says the teacher's table-rattling startled a student and she used her cell phone to call 911. He says other students in the class weren't bothered by the teacher's actions.
Redwood City School District deputy superintendent John Baker says the teacher was placed on leave because there was a police response.

What the heck has the education system come to?

~~~GB~~~

1041
The Coffee Shop / The NEW "CEO"!!!
« on: March 01, 2011, 07:01:09 pm »
A successful business man was growing old and knew it was time
to choose a successor to take over the business.

Instead of choosing one of his Directors or his children, he
decided to do something different. He called all the young
executives in his company together.

He said, "It is time for me to step down and choose the next
CEO. I have decided to choose one of you. "The young executives
were Shocked, but the boss continued. "I am going to give each
one of you a SEED today - one very special SEED. I want you to
plant the seed, water it, and come back here one year from
today with what you have grown from the seed I have given you.
I will then judge the plants that you bring, and the one
I choose will be the next CEO."

One man, named Jim, was there that day and he, like the
others, received a seed. He went home and excitedly, told his
wife the story. She helped him get a pot, soil and compost and
he planted the seed. Everyday, he would water it and watch to see
if it had grown. After about three weeks, some of the other executives
began to talk about their seeds and the plants that were beginning to
grow.

Jim kept checking his seed, but nothing ever grew.

Three weeks, four weeks, five weeks went by, still
nothing.

By now, others were talking about their plants, but Jim didn't have a
plant and he felt like a failure.

Six months went by -- still nothing in Jim's pot. He just knew he had
killed his seed. Everyone else had trees and tall plants, but he had
nothing. Jim didn't say anything to his colleagues, however, he just
kept watering and fertilizing the soil - He so wanted the seed to grow.

A year finally went by and all the young executives of the company
brought their plants to the CEO for inspection.

Jim told his wife that he wasn't going to take an empty pot. But she
asked him to be honest about what happened. Jim felt sick to his
stomach, it was going to be the most embarrassing moment of his life,
but he knew his wife was right. He took his empty pot to the board
room. When Jim arrived, he was amazed at
the variety of plants grown by the other executives. They were
beautiful -- in all shapes and sizes. Jim put his empty pot on the
floor and many of his colleagues laughed, a few felt sorry for him!

When the CEO arrived, he surveyed the room and greeted his young
executives.

Jim just tried to hide in the back. "My, what great plants, trees and
flowers you have grown," said the CEO. "Today one of you will be
appointed the next CEO!"

All of a sudden, the CEO spotted Jim at the back of the room with his
empty pot. He ordered the Financial Director to bring him to the front.
Jim was terrified. He thought, "The CEO knows I'm a failure! Maybe he
will have me fired!"

When Jim got to the front, the CEO asked him what had happened to his
seed - Jim told him the story.

The CEO asked everyone to sit down except Jim. He looked at Jim, and
then announced to the young executives, "Behold your next Chief
Executive Officer!

His name is Jim!" Jim couldn't believe it. Jim couldn't even grow his
seed.

"How could he be the new CEO?" the others said.

Then the CEO said, "One year ago today, I gave everyone in this room a
seed. I told you to take the seed, plant it, water it, and bring it
back to me today. But I gave you all boiled seeds; they were dead - it
was not possible for them to grow.

All of you, except Jim, have brought me trees and plants and flowers.
When you found that the seed would not grow, you substituted another
seed for the one I gave you. Jim was the only one with the courage and
honesty to bring me a pot with my seed in it. Therefore, he is the one
who will be the new
Chief Executive Officer!"

* If you plant honesty, you will reap trust

* If you plant goodness, you will reap friends

* If you plant humility, you will reap greatness

* If you plant perseverance, you will reap contentment

* If you plant consideration, you will reap perspective

* If you plant hard work, you will reap success

* If you plant forgiveness, you will reap reconciliation

So, be careful what you plant now; it will determine what you will reap
later.

~~~GrayBeard~~~

1042
The Coffee Shop / New Road Sign!
« on: March 01, 2011, 03:10:27 pm »
It is so true!

1043
General Scroll Saw Talk / RE: House Burned Down!
« on: February 28, 2011, 10:56:17 am »
OK ladies and gentlemen...

One of our own has had a tragedy.
What can we do to help?


Let's keep it "Off Forum"... so email me at <graybeard.stl@mail.com> and let's exchange ideas and get something going, if you are interested and can help in ANY way.

I have a couple ideas and will share them with those who respond.

~~~GrayBeard~~~

1044
The Coffee Shop / The "Sweet Tea" cure....
« on: February 26, 2011, 05:08:02 pm »
A woman goes to the doctor with severe bruises and lacerations....
 
Doctor: "What happened?"     
 
   
Woman: "Doctor, I don't know what to do.  Every time my husband comes home drunk he beats me to a pulp."   
     
 
Doctor: "I have a real good medicine for that. When your husband comes home drunk, just take a glass of sweet tea and start swishing it in your mouth.  Just swish and swish but don't swallow until he goes to bed and is asleep."     
     
 
Two weeks later, the woman comes back to the doctor looking fresh and reborn.   
   
 
Woman: "Doctor, that was a brilliant idea! Every time my husband came home drunk, I swished with sweet tea. I swished and swished, and he didn't touch me!"   
 
Doctor: "You see how much keeping your mouth shut helps?"

~~~GB~~~
(ducking and running!)

1045
General Scroll Saw Talk / Hegner Saws!
« on: February 25, 2011, 10:34:05 pm »
St. Louis, MO "craigslist"....

Two Hegner Multimax saws popped up on the same day!

http://stlouis.craigslist.org/tls/2232994145.html

http://stlouis.craigslist.org/tls/2232426768.html

~~~GrayBeard~~~

1046
Brag Forum / For us All....
« on: February 24, 2011, 01:36:49 am »
Keep away from people who try to belittle your ambitions. Small people always do that, but the really great make you feel that you, too, can become great.

Mark Twain

1047
The Coffee Shop / NOTE: Everyone....
« on: February 24, 2011, 12:51:48 am »
Go to the "ANNOUNCEMENTS" section at the top of our forum and read the post by Steve, our benevolent host, that was posted earlier today!

Be aware that Steve and Russ are looking out for us and this forum more than most of us realize!

My THANKS to them!

~~~GrayBeard~~~

1048
General Scroll Saw Talk / Craig's List..St. Louis
« on: February 22, 2011, 03:35:30 pm »
DeWalt 788 Scroll Saw - $275 (Kirkwood, Mo)

Date: 2011-02-17, 8:54AM CST
Reply to: see below

Excellent condition Dewalt 788 Scroll Saw. 20inch capacity. Variable Speed. Variable blade tension. Tilting Table.
Call Don: 314-691-3429

For anyone close to St. Louis!

~~~GB~~~

1049
Computer questions / New FireFox version 4 is just days away!
« on: February 22, 2011, 12:33:48 am »
From "LifeHacker"

The release candidate of Firefox 4 could be just days away despite widespread reports of delays, according to the community manager for Firefox.

The release ? which had originally been scheduled for October last year but was subsequently delayed until February 2011 ? could be just around the corner according to a post on Twitter from Asa Dotzler, head of community for Firefox marketing projects.

"From what I can tell, there are only 7 unwritten patches standing between Firefox 4 and hundreds of millions of users," he wrote.

~~~GB~~~

1050
The Coffee Shop / Wise Quote....
« on: February 22, 2011, 12:27:10 am »
I really relate to this one!!!

Live as if you were to die tomorrow. Learn as if you were to live forever.

Mahatma Ghandi

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