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General Category => The Coffee Shop => Topic started by: GrayBeard on February 04, 2011, 02:11:39 pm

Title: "Murder at Wal~Mart"....details below!
Post by: GrayBeard on February 04, 2011, 02:11:39 pm
This is corny but what the heck it just might make you smile.
 
 
 
 
 
MURDER AT WALMART

 
Tired of constantly
being broke & stuck in an unhappy marriage, a young husband decided
to solve both problems by taking out a large insurance policy on his wife
with himself as the beneficiary, and then arranging to have her killed.

 
A 'friend of a friend'
put him in touch with a nefarious dark-side underworld figure who went by the
name of 'Artie.' Artie explained to the husband that his going price for
snuffing out a spouse was $5,000.



The
husband said he was willing to pay that amount, but that he wouldn't have any
cash on hand until he could collect his wife's insurance money. Artie
insisted on being paid at least something up front, so the man opened
his wallet, displaying the single dollar bill that rested inside.
Artie sighed, rolled his eyes, & reluctantly agreed to accept the
dollar as down payment for the dirty deed.



A few
days later, Artie followed the man's wife to the local Super Wal-Mart
store. There, he surprised her in the produce department & proceeded
to strangle her with his gloved hands. As the poor unsuspecting woman
drew her last breath & slumped to the floor, the manager of the produce
department stumbled unexpectedly onto the murder scene. Unwilling to
leave any living witnesses behind, ol' Artie had no choice but to
strangle the produce manager as well.



However,
unknown to Artie, the entire proceedings were captured by the hidden security
cameras & observed by the store's security guard, who immediately
called the police. Artie was caught and arrested before he could even leave
the store.

 
Under intense
questioning at the police station, Artie revealed the whole sordid plan,
including his unusual financial arrangements with the hapless husband
who was also quickly arrested.

 
The next day in the
newspaper, the headline declared...

 

 

 
(You're
going to hate me for this...)

 

 

 
'ARTIE CHOKES 2 for $1.00 @ WAL-MART!'

 
Oh, quit
groaning! I don't write this stuff, I receive it from my warped
friends and then send it on to you

~~~GB~~~
Title: Re: "Murder at Wal~Mart"....details below!
Post by: Dawie on February 04, 2011, 02:55:36 pm
 ;D Gave me a laugh GB. Thanks.
David
Title: Re: "Murder at Wal~Mart"....details below!
Post by: Chachi on February 04, 2011, 03:08:32 pm
GROAN!(chuckling) that is just wrong GB (snicker snicker) Just wrong I tell you lol
Title: Re: "Murder at Wal~Mart"....details below!
Post by: Marcellarius on February 05, 2011, 07:30:49 am
so funny it took my breath away LOL hahaha  ;D :D ;D
Title: Re: "Murder at Wal~Mart"....details below!
Post by: Russ C on February 05, 2011, 08:29:38 am
Corny ain't the word for it. LOL  ::)  ::)  ::)
Title: Re: "Murder at Wal~Mart"....details below!
Post by: dgman on February 05, 2011, 11:27:09 am
Hey GB, At least you warned us the corn was coming!
Title: Re: "Murder at Wal~Mart"....details below!
Post by: cameronj on February 05, 2011, 01:45:24 pm
Thanks, GB.  That was a good one--my type of humour.
Title: Re: "Murder at Wal~Mart"....details below!
Post by: ACNeilson on February 06, 2011, 01:53:33 pm
wow.
gotta pass that one on.

Well played
Title: Re: "Murder at Wal~Mart"....details below!
Post by: pauley555 on February 06, 2011, 03:33:40 pm
LMAO, needed a laugh thanks GB