Scrollsaw Workshop Community -Please register to enable posting.
General Category => The Coffee Shop => Topic started by: GrayBeard on January 09, 2011, 01:02:14 pm
-
Dog's New Year's Resolutions
1. I will not play tug-of-war with Dad's underwear when he's on the toilet.
2. The garbage collector is NOT stealing our stuff.
3. I do not need to suddenly stand straight up when I'm lying under the coffee table.
4. I will not roll my toys behind the fridge.
5. I must shake the rainwater out of my fur BEFORE entering the house.
6. I will not eat the cats' food... before OR after they eat it.
7. I will stop trying to find the few remaining pieces of clean carpet
in the house when I am about to throw up.
8. I will not throw up in the car.
9. I will not roll on dead seagulls, fish, crabs, etc.
10. I will not lick my human's face after eating animal poop.
11. "Kitty box crunchies" are not food.
12. I will not eat any more socks and then redeposit them in the backyard after processing.
13. The diaper pail is not a cookie jar.
14. I will not wake Mommy up by sticking my cold, wet nose up her bottom end.
15. I will not chew my human's toothbrush and not tell them.
16. I will not chew crayons or pens, especially not the red ones, or my people will think I am hemorrhaging.
17. When in the car, I will not insist on having the window rolled down when it's raining outside.
18. We do not have a doorbell.
19. I will not bark each time I hear one on TV.
20. I will not steal my Mom's underwear and dance all over the back yard with it.
21. The sofa is not a face towel. Neither are Mom & Dad's laps.
22. My head does not belong in the refrigerator.
23. I will not bite the officer's hand when he reaches in for Mom's driver's license and car registration.
-
My dog has already broken most of these resolutions. Thanks GB, Good one.
Mark
-
GB...since I have the pleasure of having 11 dogs, I think I can relate to all items on this list. I will read this to the "children" and see if they would consider adopting one or two of these resolutions for the New Year. Some how I don't think they will be able to go the whole year without breaking most of them.
-
I am going to print this one and give it to my daughter who has five doges. :)
-
I wish mine would adopt just one. I will not steal food off the kitchen counter.
-
Those resolutions sure didn't last very long. Here it is Jan 10 and they have already been broken. Wish we could add not to hog the bed.