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General Category => The Coffee Shop => Topic started by: crusty59 on July 22, 2010, 08:58:37 am

Title: I owe my Mother
Post by: crusty59 on July 22, 2010, 08:58:37 am

My mother taught me about CONTORTIONISM.
"Will you look at that dirt on the back of your neck!"

Title: Re: I owe my Mother
Post by: Dawie on July 22, 2010, 10:38:30 am

I never figured out how to do that, but then mothers have eyes in the back of their heads so they can see everything. And then they think we can too :P
David.

Title: Re: I owe my Mother
Post by: jimbo on July 23, 2010, 03:23:58 am

Mothers know every thing
Jimbo

Title: Re: I owe my Mother
Post by: Russ C on July 23, 2010, 09:02:32 am

If that's the case (eyes in the back of your head) then my mother poked me in the eyes all the time (slapped me in the back of my head). LOL  :o

Title: Re: I owe my Mother
Post by: loftyhermes on July 23, 2010, 09:04:20 am

My Mother Taught Me?

TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE: "If you're going to kill each other, do it outside. I just finished cleaning."

RELIGION: "You better pray that will come out of the carpet."

TIME TRAVEL: "If you don't straighten up, I'm going to knock you into the middle of next week!"

LOGIC: " Because I said so, that's why."

MORE LOGIC: "If you fall out of that swing and break your neck, you're not going to the store with me."

FORESIGHT: ?Make sure you wear clean underwear, in case you're in an accident."

IRONY: "Keep crying, and I'll give you something to cry about."

OSMOSIS: ?Shut your mouth and eat your supper."

CONTORTIONISM: ?Will you look at that dirt on the back of your neck!"

STAMINA: "You'll sit there until all that spinach is gone."

WEATHER: "This room of yours looks as if a tornado went through it."

HYPOCRISY: "If I told you once, I've told you a million times. Don't exaggerate!"

CIRCLE OF LIFE: "I brought you into this world, and I can take you out."

BEHAVIOR MODIFICATION: "Stop acting like your father!"

ENVY: "There are millions of less fortunate children in this world who don't have wonderful parents like you do."

ANTICIPATION: "Just wait until we get home"

RECEIVING: "You are going to get it when you get home!"

MEDICAL SCIENCE: "If you don't stop crossing your eyes, they are going to freeze that way."

ESP: "Put your sweater on; don't you think I know when you are cold?"

HUMOUR: "When that lawn mower cuts off your toes, don't come running to me."

HOW TO BECOME AN ADULT: "If you don't eat your vegetables, you'll never grow up."

GENETICS: "You're just like your father."

ROOTS: "Shut that door behind you. Do you think you were born in a barn?"

WISDOM: "When you get to be my age, you'll understand."

JUSTICE: "One day you'll have kids, and I hope they turn out just like you!"

Title: Re: I owe my Mother
Post by: northie66 on July 23, 2010, 05:31:09 pm

My Dad taught me LOGIC & IRONY.   :-\

Title: Re: I owe my Mother
Post by: Russ C on July 23, 2010, 06:14:19 pm

Quote from: Janet on July 23, 2010, 05:31:09 pm

My Dad taught me LOGIC & IRONY.   :-\

Ok Janet please explain  ???

Title: Re: I owe my Mother
Post by: northie66 on July 23, 2010, 08:28:22 pm

Just that my Dad used to say those 2 things.  I particularly remember the "You want me to give you something to cry about?"  I wish I could go back and reply, "I'm confused... do you want me to stop crying or cry more?  Because in case you haven't noticed, I ALREADY HAVE SOMETHING TO CRY ABOUT!"

Ahhh... those were the days.   ;D