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General Category => The Coffee Shop => Topic started by: king310 on December 24, 2012, 04:07:45 pm
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One winter morning a couple was listening to the radio over breakfast. They hear the announcer say, 'We are going to have 8 to 10 inches of snow today You must park your car on the even-numbered side of the street, so the snowplows can get through.'
Norman's wife goes out and moves her car.
A week later while they are eating breakfast again, the radio announcer says, 'We are expecting 10 to 12 inches of snow today. You must park your car on the odd-numbered side of the street, so the snowplows can get through.'
Norman's wife goes out and moves her car again.
The next week they are again having breakfast, when the radio announcer says, 'We are expecting 12 to 14 inches of snow today. You must park ..........................'
Then the power dies.
Norman's wife is very upset, and with a worried look on her face she says, 'Norm, I don't know what to do. Which side of the street do I need to park on so the snowplows can get through?'
With the love and understanding in his voice that some men who have been married for years exhibit, Norman says, 'Why don't you just leave it in the garage this time?'
::) ::) ::) ::)
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That one has been around for a few years King, but it is still funny!
As for my favorite Christmas joke: There once was an Elf from Nantucket........
Oh screw it, I don't remember how it goes. ::) ::)
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Sure Dan............... ;D ;D ;D
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Maybe this will help Dan
There once was an Elf from Nantucket
His magic he carried in a bucket
But when he sprinkled his dust
It had all turned to rust
So he moved his scam to Pawtucket
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Question: Why does Santa have 3 gardens?
So he can ho-ho-ho.
Question: What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire?
Answer: Frostbite.
Question: Why was Santa's little helper depressed?
Because he had low elf esteem.
Question: What do you get when you cross an archer with a gift-wrapper?
Answer: Ribbon hood.
Question: What do you call people who are afraid of Santa Claus?
Answer: Claustrophobic.
Question: What do snowmen eat for breakfast?
Answer: Snowflakes.
:D :D :D :D
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Russ what did you do memorize the jokes out of the Bon Bons ? :D :D :D :D
Great jokes guys. :D :D :D :D
Marg
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Who do Santa go, Ho,Ho, Ho
Answer, If you came once a year you would go Ho,Ho, Ho, too.
I know, corn, corn, corn..........But I made you smile, didn't I ;D ;D ;D ;D
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There was a guy sitting in a bar and he was so drunk he couldn't manage to sip another drink. Two guys feeling sorry for him decided to take him home, when they dug his wallet out of his pocket to get his address he fell on the floor with a THUD, he fell seven more times walking him to their car. When they got to his home he fell 5 more times getting to the door. They rang to bell and when the wife answered they explained the situation.
She said thanks...but where's his wheel chair?
Hey, I heard it on Christmas so that makes it a Christmas joke. ;) ;)
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Christmas Eve...
11:40 p.m.
Santa has a terrible cold...
Elves are way behind getting everything sorted and in the sleigh...
Rudolph is cantankerous and not cooperating about getting in the harness...
Mrs. Claus is griping about Santa always being gone on Christmas Eve and not staying with her to open presents...
NORAD is predicting heavy air traffic and constantly re-arranging Santa's route...
There is a knock on Santa's office door...
When he opens it only half dressed there stands a small angel with a Christmas tree...
The angel asks, "Santa, where would you like me to put this tree?"
And now you know how the tradition of the angel on the top of the tree got started!!!
~~~GB~~~
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thanks for all the laughs!!!!